Opening Montage

[Music]

welcome to vintage video where we'll be

reviewing every major film release of

the 1980s in

real time and by real time i mean on the

40th anniversary of their

release in the united states i'm patrick

o'reilly

i'm jesse bayless and i'm richard wells

and today marks the 40th anniversary of

the release of just tell me what you

want on january 18th of 1980.

it was written by jay press on allen

directed by sidney lumet

and released by warner brothers richard

would you care to summarize the plot for

us

sure just tell me what you want

is about a pioneering young woman

who uh is i guess the term would be

sugar daughter if you have a sugar daddy

are you a sugar daughter

uh sugar baby sugar baby some of the

candies called

uh she's been in a relationship with

this man since she was a teenager

she's basically indebted all of her

career but she

wants something more out of life and

when she tries to branch out on her own

he gets he tries to get a little

vengeful trying to crush her attempts to

get out from underneath him only to

i mean are we going to spoilers only to

come back to him yeah because i guess

that's what we should preface this with

we are going to spoil the film yeah

in our review of it you're supposed to

say that before you spoil the film

i don't think anyone cares about this

movie

all right the review has begun all right

it's a bizarre movie i the first time we

watched it

i i remember just remarking on how

not funny it was yeah it's like it

didn't know what genre it was gonna be

if it was a comedy or a drama right

and it rides the line so hard that it it

never leans either way

yeah well and it's funny because it

starts off with the you know she does

the whole line of

this is the story of how i got married

you know and it's yeah they play it like

it's a

standard romantic right they think it's

a romantic comedy you think it's a

romantic comedy and then

you know in in some somewhere around the

middle of the film she

she does get married she goes off and

marries this you know this this

playwright

and and you're like oh and you're like

okay that's how you got married oh it's

so cute this

this nice guy you got away from this you

know this horrible man that was doing

these terrible things to you

and uh and you got away and now you're

happy dip into that stuff

and it gets real dark yeah but it's also

weird because it has like a cold open

of like a scene from the middle of the

movie that's very slapsticky to yeah the

story

uh and then because with my second

viewing

of this i was like this film is really

disturbingly dark

i feel like sydney lament thought it was

a dark comedy yeah it was this

because you know because we open up with

an abortion

yeah that's like the first point it's

post abortion

yeah i want to cover the the making of

before

um we get too far in um so in 1975 jay

press on allen the screenwriter

published

her first book which is just tell me

what you want

and it was quickly optioned by warner

brothers for half a million dollars

so keep these numbers in your head five

hundred thousand half a million dollars

so far

that's where we're at uh mike nichols

was briefly attached to produce and

direct but sydney lamette was later

hired

he cast alan king who we'd worked with a

couple times before but this isn't

this is king's first leading role

possibly ever but at least in a lumet

movie i didn't check to see if he

had other lead roles apparently civil

shepherd was told she had an audition

for ally mcgraw's part

and when she found uh sydney lameet on

the universal lot

he told her that she was mistaken and it

was already cast

so she fired her agent oh geez so that's

awkward

um ellie mcgraw so she really wanted

that huh

apparently i think she you know figured

out later that that was probably for the

best

no no i don't think it was uh her loss

um ally mcgraw though

for this film was paid 650 000

plus a share of the profits which

couldn't have been it couldn't have been

anything

because the movie made two million

dollars before warner brothers pulled it

out of theaters

after two weeks um but 650 000

is a pretty good amount of money it is

and when you put it on top of the 500

000 they paid for the script

and they probably paid allen king more

because it's 1980 right

so that's like almost the whole 2

million blown

already you didn't even get into the

production costs

yeah she's literally just paying the the

lead actors and myrna loy

you have to pay her a lot well and

sydney lumet wasn't a wasn't it like a

first time director

yeah exactly yeah this was under his

belt yeah and myrna lloyd was 75 at the

time this is her final film

um and she plays the role of of max's

secretary

max's is one of the two lead characters

of the film

um the sugar daddy to the sugar baby

previously discussed

this is also apparently michael gross's

first film in a blink and you'll miss it

appearance as well

in one dinner scene loath are yeah

i don't even know like i watched the

movie twice now and i

and i still don't didn't catch him

lothar is the

is someone they were considering to do

the adaptation the screenwriting

adaptation of

peter weller's play into a movie

oh okay but he was unwilling to drop his

price yeah he was too expensive

and so they were like well he was like

well i could just do it myself

um and christopher reeves was offered a

role in the movie and passed on it i'm

assuming that's robocop yeah that would

be

the role that would fit him the best

principal photography for the film began

on january 29th of 1979

the production designer tony walton

based max's home

on jaja gabor's home okay it was just

like 99 mirrors perfect for filming yeah

great

yeah everything like all the doors are

like very carefully opened at weird

angles so that you can't see any crew

i'm assuming it was like skeleton crew

anyway but yeah they had no money left

over to

pay yeah exactly i don't know what the

budget was

um his office was based on uh john kelly

who was at the time the head of

warner brothers office um and the

screening room which was featured in the

film was copied from the basement

screening room

of buddy rogers who was an actor and the

second husband of

mary pickford but um to get back into

sidney lumet like you were saying that

he's obviously not a first time director

and this was actually

like i mean his first big one is

probably 12 angry man

yeah but this came as like

the fifth in a series of like really

celebrated films but then this one was

like the clunker that nobody remembers

kind of i mean if you go in order on his

imdb page

you have serpaco and then he did a

murder

murder on the orient express with albert

phineas poirot which i would love to see

i haven't seen it

is that the one that won best picture uh

did a murderer on the orient express win

best picture

i don't know why i thought it well i won

one oscar hang on

oh sorry best actress ingrid berman

sorry i was gonna say i didn't think

that was in my

my memory list of best picture winners

um

but i would love to see that i mean i i

like kenneth branach as poirot but

albert finney would be really fun

especially a young albert finney yeah

but then after that he did dog the

afternoon

network the wiz and then this it's like

one of these things is not like the

other

like you remember all these other movies

yeah but i also feel like the whiz

kind of stands out there like like i

don't think that if you were going

through

directors at the time you'd be like oh

you know who'd be great at the whiz

yeah let's get sidney lamette in here

yeah

any african-american director

there must have been at least one right

especially after network that's a weird

choice i agree

although there is a lot of like fun

imagery

in network that i can see like all the

stained glass stuff and the weirdly

shaped offices in the

in the network building were there any

musicals on the list up to that point

for city limit yeah i don't think so i

mean like

yeah the only other one that i had on

here

to mention was uh fail safe which is uh

i know of it because uh and they talk

about it in uh

stanley kubrick's autobiography it came

out the same year as dr strangelove and

the story was so similar to

red alert which is what dr strangelove

was adapted from

that they sued them and i think they

actually won

but both movies ended up coming out in

1964

with very similar storylines but no i

don't think lumet has any other

uh musicals to his credit at least not

at this point in his career

yeah um the writer jay press on allen

who as we said before had written the

the book that this was adapted from was

predominantly a

screenplay writer before so even before

she had written this book she had

written screenplays for movies

she wrote marnie for hitchcock she wrote

cabaret

for bob fosse she wrote

funny lady with the barbra streisand

movie and then uh

she also is somehow an uncredited

screenwriter on the

1976 version of star is born which also

has dry sand

so i don't know if that means like well

she was she was a script doctor for a

long time

yeah so i i don't know if that means

they brought her in after the fact to

fix it or yeah

streisand and christopherson just

completely abandoned what she had

written

oh no i mean i could see it working she

probably has a lot of uncredited um

writing stuff because

the wikipedia was saying that she was a

script doctor like princess leia

yeah and she said she preferred that

because you know she would come in and

and you know the producers would just be

desperate for a script and she's like

you know like i didn't care about credit

like i just wanted to come in

make this thing better you know they

also get paid way better yeah they get

paid wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

wait wait wait wait wait

and at the same time there's not the

drama of like oh now you're on the hook

to write this script and everybody's

hounding you and they're you know it's

script by committee and all this stuff

and it's just like well no you're just

coming at the end and everyone's

desperate for you to just make it better

and they're just

here's your money go do it yeah and i

haven't seen marnie but

uh i mean all those movies are pretty

well celebrated movies

right getting into the cast a little bit

alan king

who plays max herschel the the uh

media mogul of the the centerpiece of

the story

um i mostly know him from friars club

roasts

um when uh my brother and i used to stay

up really late and watch uh

in living color they would play all

these commercials where you could buy

the

the older friar's club roasts when it

was like all the rat pack and everything

yeah

i remember those it was always alan king

officiating so that's what i always

think of him

uh first but prior to this movie he

doesn't really have a lot of big

film credits um after this he has like

bonfire the vanities

casino and i think he was the bad guy in

rush hour too

or like he's definitely on the bad guy's

team i don't know if he's the main bad

guy

he seems like the money behind the

villains or something well i remember

mostly from uh cat's eye i don't know

he's a you don't know katsy

the james woods segment is where he's

trying to quit he's trying to quit

smoking is that post 1980 cat's eye yeah

it's 85. okay good we'll get into it

uh but uh yeah james woods joins this

really aggressive

anti-smoking organization where they

follow you around and whatnot and

and alan king's like the like slap the

cigarettes out of your hand

uh no they uh kidnap your wife and

torture her

oh my god okay so that's a little more

extreme than i was thinking that's like

the game

yes but for quitting smoking yeah um

and then the obviously the other lead is

ally mcgraw as bones burton

they never go into that like they know

what her nickname is yeah why

is her nickname bones like does she have

another name that is like bones

yeah i'm not sure you know was she

an archaeologist prior to this

prior to being a 16 year old sugar baby

you know right taken off the street by

this

mogul yeah at the at the beginning they

they talk about

um bones says that myrna lloyd's

character

was there to like usher these women into

this program where she would like

fix their teeth and get them educated

and make them like suitable mistresses

for max and they call them the herschel

scholars

but um ally mcgraw is like the number

one herschel scholar right now she's the

first mistress

and her big selling point was that she

had a perfect bite

right that she never had yeah she's like

that that's your defining moment

but it's funny too because at the

beginning you see murano on the phone

and she's like no he's not going to pay

15 000

he only kept the last one for a year so

we're not we're not doing this anymore

but um aly mcgraw prior to this um

it's basically just love story which was

a full decade before this

um she did a lot of other movies but

nothing that like i feel like people

mention a lot there was also the getaway

which um

if you don't know her life story which i

learned from the movie

uh the kid stays in the picture the

documentary on robert evans

she was married to robert evans who was

the head of paramount pictures at the

time

um and then they made the movie the

getaway and her

she was opposite steve mcqueen and left

robert evans for steve mcqueen

uh i have a i have a movie on my server

that i haven't watched with her yet

called convoy

with uh chris christopherson sam paw

film

oh that sounds good then yeah i have not

watched it uh it's 78

uh but uh that's the only like i'm

looking at

looking at her credits like oh convoy i

know i know of that movie

yeah and then uh we said before max's

secretary is myrna loy playing

stella who um apparently was an

uncredited chorus singer in the jazz

singer in 1927.

she had a lot of uncredited roles and a

lot of roles as

slave girl going through her credits but

that's crazy that this is her

her last movie was in 1980 and she was

in the first like sync sound picture in

1927 right

she was also obviously in six thin man

movies

she was the nora to william powell's and

nick in the

adaptation of daniel hammett's

hard-boiled detective novels she was

also

a female lead in best years of our lives

which did win best picture

in 46 or 147

was released in 46 i'm not sure um

she was also when mr blanding's builds

his dream house which i feel like i've

watched recently that's the one with

cary grant where he like

quits his life and starts building a

house i don't think i watched that with

you no

okay and she was also the the mother in

the original cheaper by the dozen

which uh i mostly remember the book i've

never seen the original cheaper by the

doesn't matter oh you haven't i actually

really like that movie oh yeah

yeah and i've only seen them the recent

one no the original one's really good

i would watch one with myrna loy and

steve martin

um and then getting into some of the

supporting casts we have keenan wynn

yes just amazing um

he was also in one of the thin man

movies he was in song of the thin man

which i think is like the fifth or sixth

installment because

song of has to come late in the series

like

who does song of for a sequel it's

usually like a song of

ice and fire you know that's a pretty

that's not a sequel

well it will be

[Laughter]

um apparently keenum was an uncredited

bartender and touch of evil somewhere

okay um he's unmistakable with his voice

right he and hi and edwin both have that

father

of that's those voices they're vastly

different voices

but they're so identifiable but keenans

also changes a lot from film to film

yeah like he's doing a bizarre accent

throughout this entire movie

um but yeah apparently like he was the

one who talked his dad into pursuing

acting and of course if if you're not

familiar edwin went on to do

the voice of like the man hatter and

like a bunch of disney cartoon

characters

and his uncle albert and mary poppins

right oh yes floating up

and uh but keenan was also in a lot of

disney stuff he was like in the

love bug and right uh and uh

i i might one of my father's favorite

films is point blank

uh not to be confused with growth point

blank but point blank

which was what the movie uh the recent

adaptation was

uh with mel gibson was payback okay

uh that's the that's the basically the

the remake of that film

well i like uh i like payback so i'll

have to check out point blank he was

also in a twilight zone episode

um the title of the his segment was

called a world of his own which is the

one where the writer can like

will things into being by describing

them into the tape recorder

yeah yeah that's a good one yeah which

is funny because it kind of got remade

as that paul dano movie ruby sparks

oh yeah it's kind of the same story um

and then my favorite role from keenan

wynn was as colonel bat guano and doctor

strangelove

now look colonel bat guano if that

really is your name

and then he it looks like he did like

some crazy sci-fi stuff in like the mid

to late 70s with orca and laser blast

oh man i i don't remember him in orca

god do you remember orca oh i i

last time i tried to put it on you were

like do not put this on with the kids

away yeah yeah the very first seat is a

dramatic murdering of a whale or

something yeah yeah

it's this pregnant whales hauled out of

the ocean

and it's in such trauma and terror that

it gives premature birth to a whale

fetus that falls onto the deck of this

ship

oh my god and it's the most horrifying

thing i've ever seen it wasn't even

scripted this is just

this is all in one shot this happens

but he's also in piranha which is

magnificent with joe dante

directing um and i guess he has a part

in parts of clonus horror i didn't

realize that he's got to be a scientist

or something in that

what movie it's called parts a clonus

horror

and that you said you said it again i

still don't know what you're saying

a cloneus it's a terrible title

yes a clonus

horror what does that mean what does it

mean that's a good question

hearts is apparently ee cummings wrote

it

but here's the thing um i'm familiar

with that movie firstly because of the

mystery science theater episode about it

but secondly because they filed suit

against michael bay when the movie the

island came out because it's essentially

the same story two people

that were born into an organ farm in the

distant future

escape and start encountering people in

the real world and realize that the

facility they came from

isn't like the last vestige of human

life it's actually just a farm where

they're eventually they get killed and

their organs are sold to people who

look like them on the outside that

sounds good i honestly think parts of

clone is horror is better

than the island i never saw the island

either but that's

i think i'll start with this one yeah

it's it's funny

um and watch the msd 3k version yes

absolutely

i just remember there's like something

where they find like a a can of like

milwaukee beer or something like that

and they're like trying to pronounce the

word or something

which is algonquin for the good land

the character that kanan's playing is

seymour berger who is like

a business rival of max's right yeah

they

they are the the macy's and uh gimbals

but it also seems like he's kind of on

his way out and he's letting his son

take over the company

but his son is running a movie studio

for max

and he's running it into the ground it's

his grandson though right

oh you're right it's a great grandson

yeah yeah because they have this weird

pansy grass

grandson my marshal does not know

another lady

that has the penzi grandson no reason to

bring this plot point up

what so well max brings it up a lot too

but but there's but there's like there's

no point to it like

other than the 80s interpretation of a

pansy as someone who's just like

can't produce anything it's a failure

yeah i must tell you this boy has a

great disappointment

no great grandchildren the end of the

line

well i but i think that that was also

intentional as part of the setup

that max was being led into yeah oh that

this guy is worthless and like there's

yeah

yeah because because one when that big

twist happens i don't get into that but

yeah um because he he looks at mikey

with prizes everybody wants my mikey

yeah because they made the deal with the

other studio uh so i i feel like that

that delivery of that line was to play

to max

in order to increase this

setup that he's going to be playing into

so he's more convinced that that

you know he's going to win in this deal

yeah yeah so part of

max herschel's like conglomeration of

companies he has like

like you pointed out there's like a

mining operation there's like it's all

sorts of they have their fingers and all

sorts of crazy pies but part of it is

like a television station

and a movie studio and he keeps talking

about how the movie studio is not going

to make any money but bones wants to

take it over

right and as much as like it seems like

he's handed bones everything

she does point out early in the film

that he did give her like the job and he

gave her like her position but she won

four emmys those four enemies were hers

max financed my tv company but i won the

four emmys on my own

yeah it was her own dude you know it's

an emmy yeah it's an emmy you just

you can buy those too i'm sure you

bought them for her um

but yeah so what is the name of the

studio independent films

uh well i have it here international

pictures

international mm-hmm that's the name of

the studio that's the name of the

the studio that max owns within some

reason cosmo independent pictures

cosmos is the rival right which both

seem like

versions of universal yeah yeah um

but uh but yeah so he runs

his studio but he wants to get rid of it

and just keep the prince

and like the ips right because he thinks

yeah that's the only thing that's worth

any money

because everything else is operating at

a loss he's basically he's running

fox studios like six months ago and he's

like

let's just sell the whole thing and i'll

keep the titles that i'm allowed to like

sell home video

and uh and this guy who he let stay in

charge of the studio

turns out sold everything out from under

him well

he sold the pr he saw the library yeah

right from underneath yeah that's that's

the grandson of the seymour burger

character

mike berger who's played by tony roberts

um

who is in taking a pelham one two three

the first one

the the good one the good one um

i haven't seen the second one so it

might it might not be bad it's fair but

uh but the first one's better

um i assume but it is and

he plays well yeah you can and he's

saving the universe

that's awesome that was part of the

double feature of walter matthau saves

the universe that

oh the charlie charlie barrack it was

pelham and charlie barrack which is

another insanely good film

it was a great double feature that was

so fun and charlie barrack

um was later remade as no country for

old men very very similar story but with

a much more satisfying ending

although i like no country for old man

but the ending of charlie varick is

phenomenal um

annie hall uh he was uh woody allen's

like best friend

that goes to all the parties with him um

and i guess he had a recurring role on

love boat but those are that's like the

extent of his major

roles that he had what is the whole

point of the uh

the wing for special diseases i didn't

like was that all part of the trick

oh yeah it seemed like a setup yeah i

think

the seymour burger keeps trying to pitch

max herschel

uh hospital in the middle of the city i

i think he's

trying to play up his declining health

and mental state

yeah in my opinion i i feel like

that he wants to build this hospital

so it's like he's looking max thinks

that he wants a meeting

to discuss business right but it's no

it's like he's like no i want to give

something back to the community i want

to build a hospital and i want you to

invest in my my dream of having this

hospital and max

is just convinced that he's lost it but

he wants to name it after max

right i guess in a way to like convince

him to give him more money for it right

and but also the fact that it's like the

for rare and exotic diseases

for special diseases my business with

you

is a wing for special diseases

uh but i think all of that is playing

into

[Music]

the the big twist which we'll just

describe it

max goes down to the studio to basically

to fire mike

yeah and well not to fire him because

he's like he doesn't want to fire him

yet because that's the whole that's

because

he has a contract for 18 more months or

something but he's

going to discuss the plan for the

dismantling of the studio

and that's when they revealed that he

sold all the negatives

and so that's when he gets enraged and

fires him

and that causes a clause in his contract

to be triggered where he's owed

all the money that he would be paid yeah

they make it clear that it's a setup

when

after he gets fired he stands up and

walks to

the phone at the other side of the room

and says did you get all that you heard

him fire me

okay we're good and then max goes over

to the phone and fires the woman on the

other end

but yeah so but from that point on he

realizes okay

i see what you did you sold all of our

prints to

cosmos for a job at cosmos

so that you get like this insane bonus

over there because you knew i was going

to dismantle the studio

right see but all of this i mean it's so

funny that we've spent so long

describing this entire

random like this was like a b story to

the whole thing because

like you know none of that part involves

the bones character

like at all well that she wants to run

the studio

and he's not letting her run the studio

but now it's worth

less than nothing because he doesn't

have the prints anymore right so now

it's like

well what am i going to do with it just

throw it away or

give it to her because there's no she

can't even run it into the ground it's

literally just

an empty studio with no prints but she

does get involved with

tony roberts at cosmos right because

she wants to option this book um

which at first i thought was written by

robocop

but because like she she's reading it in

his house

and i thought that that oh that's not

his book

no i thought it was his too no i don't

think so so

okay so the the whole thing is like

she's trying to get

this playwright for her television show

right so she takes him out to dinner

tries to like woo him to be on her

television but he's like famously

anti-camera doesn't right

right so he doesn't want to do any of

this but for them but for some random

reason

after just meeting her once he takes her

up to a

cabin like in the middle of i don't know

where are they

vermont i don't know something yeah yeah

like i think because he makes a big deal

about who goes to vermont

yeah yeah and and he also is like uh

completely off the grid like zero

emissions like

uh there's no electricity there's barely

hot water

and he's ed begley jr before at bagley

junior right and

he's like literally telling her we eat

the garbage right i think it's weird to

to

invite her in the first place like this

this tv producer who you're not

interested in doing her show you're just

like come to my vermont cabin for a few

days well she invited him to her house

first and they were very flirty there

yeah i guess it's just it just seems

like like a weird thing to do and then

you bring this

television producer up to your cabin uh

you know but then you know at the end of

that scene he sort of makes it clear

that the

only reason that he's taking her out

there

is to stick it to max herschel right

right but what

she thinks they're doing is having a

discussion about potentially adapting a

play that he wrote

oh no i think it's only i think it's

still too

well yeah because he wrote a play he

wrote a play from the perspective of a

terrorist

correct and they want to try to make

that into a movie

but and and tony roberts is interested

in it but also on the side she's

interested in adapting this book

on her own that she randomly found in

his cabbage yeah she randomly found some

novella that she's trying to buy the

rights for by selling all her jewelry

that max gave her right because he froze

all the rest of her assets when

you know when she started seeing this

playwright

yeah yeah well when she when she married

married yeah

she married me one weekend in vermont

and they go and get married so

she's suddenly getting offers from mike

burger at cosmos now

to make a film of this story that she

likes

um are we sure that it's not written by

peter weller i thought it was supposed

to be his story well because but then

why would she have such a hard time

getting the rights

yeah no it wasn't his book yeah okay

because she's she's like negotiating

with an agent about the rights

trying to undercut it um but i think a

great scene is when

max herschel and tony rob max herschel

and the playwright meet for the first

time and they're discussing his play

um at this party right they go off into

the front yard and kind of on their own

yeah garden uh and and he is

totally the playwright uh peter weller

is totally captivated by max herschel's

like

charisma yeah and she's trying to it's

very flattering like he knows the play

well

he's studied it but she's trying to

convince him that no

he's he's setting you up to fail he's

he's entrapping you

and you don't see it and he takes that

offensive like that he would fall for

such a ploy

yeah basically he max thinks that the

only reason that bones is interested in

this guy is because he doesn't care

about cameras and that he's the complete

polar opposite of max

and so max is trying to show her right

away no we're the exact same person

we both just want to be famous and have

a lot of money and so i'm going to make

him feel like he's famous and is about

to have a lot of money and you're going

to see him transform into me

and then you're going to leave this guy

because he's worthless

and he takes the bait it's a lot of work

to get your mistress back

yeah that's true but but it's his

favorite mystery yeah it's his favorite

mistress and practically his wife

because we haven't mentioned her yet but

his wife for this entire film is

completely out of her mind

in like a sanitarium in wisconsin yeah

because this

man is is a psychopath

right who no they're both crazy people

no yeah he destroyed her mind

yes yeah no i don't doubt that that was

his psychological damage that he did to

her

but it's not like he doesn't see her

ever like

she spends the year flirting with her

doctor

at this sanitarium in wisconsin

and there's there's another line we get

from him early in the movie when

he he calls her at the sanitarium and

says oh my my daughter is

engaged or getting married or it's her

birthday what is what is the celebration

for uh well the daughter is already

married because she has a kid

right yeah uh maybe it's a birthday but

uh

something for his daughter who he calls

baby yeah and he says oh you're gonna

come out for

this event at the house and she just

loses it

and goes crazy and the doctor picks up

the phone and says no she's not

she's not mentally prepared for this

visit she can't come out to the house

and then he says look here's what you're

going to do you're going to bring her

out to the house like i told you to

and uh oh she said you're making

meringues today yeah at the

sanitarium doctor if she doesn't up

the meringues freeze them and send them

with her i want everything i'm paying

for because he's just the worst person

in the world he can't even let

two garbage meringues go to waste i can

bring the macaroni art we're going to

hang that in the halls

we're going to eat all the macaroni well

and it's weird too when when he says

oh you're making meringues he says like

what strawberry or lemon i was like

what strawberry meringue is that a thing

well it depends on what kind of meringue

you're talking about like a swiss

meringue or a french meringue like

we've got a meringue specialist here i'm

not a marine specialist i'm just saying

like i think they were talking about

making like the individual like the

crunchy kind that you bake

sure yeah as opposed to a lemon meringue

pie

the soft kite actually i like then i

have no idea what we're talking about

but yeah so he does bring the meringues

when the event ends up happening

but uh at this party he he's there with

his

wife who is just losing it

because he's like demanding everything

of her and sent her doctor away

immediately because

he felt jealous and threatened by the

doctor even though he doesn't pay this

woman any attention

and uh and bones uh comes to the party

and she brings

the writer um yeah cause cause his

mistress bones

and his daughter are like really good

friends yeah they're actually like best

friends

but since they're kind of broken up now

like max is trying to

pretend like oh well you know i'm

totally fine with it you do what you

gotta do and

i'm just gonna move on to the next

mistress in line this cafe character who

at the very beginning of the film we see

a new secretary

starting her name is kathy and she's

she's like trying to pick things up very

quickly but he kind of

moves on to her and it's like all right

i'm gonna be with this cathy person now

and um his daughter is not cool with

that his daughter is like

oh you should you should get back

together with bones like she just wants

them to be together because

bones is her friend and she wants her

friend to screw her dad for some reason

and uh yeah so that's awkward

yeah and then and then bones decides to

do like this you know so everybody that

works for

max like has to sign these like you know

nda type things that they're they're not

going to talk about anything that

happens in the company

and then she decides you know to make a

bunch of money to like move on with this

you know book that she wants to produce

into a movie she's going to do some sort

of like expose thing

yeah she's just going to talk about them

on television and yeah

get a bunch of money for it but now

meanwhile

in the background what she doesn't know

is that there's this really famous

vase oh yeah that max has in his office

that's worth

a lot to him and a lot to um

seymour seymour berger and uh

she wants to make this movie and cosmos

doesn't want to make a movie

of the story that she's talking about

and i was

almost certain after two viewings that

the story that they're talking about is

the one from the terrorists perspective

that cosmos is like

that sounds radioactive to us we're not

going to do this but

um max gave seymour the vase

right in secret in exchange for him

green lighting this project for her

which is bait green lighting the play

that robocop wrote okay yeah no the bass

the bass was yeah the video was for the

part okay for the play it wasn't for her

okay that's what i thought yeah yeah and

uh because he literally just wanted her

to be happy it's supposed to be the

point of that story is that he gives up

this thing that means

supposedly means a lot to him even

though it's just a dumb object

and he gives it to his rival to make his

mistress happy even after she has left

him

and while they're at a party a cosmos

party

and she's trying to talk up a new

screenwriter to work on her project

she like wanders around the house and

finds

the vase in seymour burger's office and

then they have a conversation yeah

and he explains oh yeah he gave it to me

to greenlight your movie

and my wife died so now she's in it yeah

and another weird like

like couldn't she just give her the face

and that be the end of that point like

why did the wife have to die

and be put in the vase and then they had

to make a big deal about the fact that

she was cremated and they're jewish and

like that's not something that we do

and i honestly think the only reason

that they mention her being cremated and

being put in the base is to show that

this is a permanent transaction

that there's no way that max is getting

this face back

like this it's not like if he cancels

the project he's gonna have to give the

vase back to him because it's like no my

wife's ashes are in there so

you can't come to my house and take it

there's literally no way i would ever

part with this now

but you probably don't even want it now

well but the deal is when seymour dies

he does get the face back

right and he's presumably just dumpsters

um but also going out a limb that he's

gonna

live longer than seymour burger right uh

i do

there's a really kind of awkward scene

when uh at the party at the cosmos party

yeah uh when they're kind of walking

around and

she uh bones is led into a room to watch

a film

so the men can talk and so she's put in

with all the wives

and girlfriends into room to watch a

screening and while they all kind of go

off

and bones is just kind of like what the

hell am i doing here

uh because this is like her her deal all

part of her deal but yeah

she's been pushed aside so it can happen

around her

yeah um and that's when she goes and

goes looking around and

meets seymour but i just uh that that

that moment just really stuck out to me

where she's just kind of put in this

room full of

women who don't care that they're being

put in the room but she does

yeah which is like her defining

characteristic is that she's

she's much more like max than almost

anyone else in the story

and that she's like no i'm gonna have my

way i'm gonna figure out how to get

things done and i'm gonna do it without

anybody's help if i have to

um but the screenwriter that she talks

to at the cosmos party is the michael

gross character

lothar and he just tells her no

sorry it sounds sounds like you guys

aren't willing to pay

what i cost at which point i think peter

weller is basically saying

he'll step up and write the thing um

but uh michael gross obviously people

know from uh

his television work um i know him from

tremors

yeah how does he say his cellular work

of tremors back to perfection yeah

well the back to perfection is the third

movie oh what was the tv series

i think it was just called tremors or

yeah i think it was just called tremors

and then that was the same name of the

when kevin bacon shot that pilot i think

it was just called tremors

oh yeah did you hear about that yeah i

heard about it that's what i'm saying i

didn't get greenlit which is crazy that

they would make a tremors pilot for

another

television series with kevin bacon in

the lead role

and it didn't get picked up yeah but i

would love to see that pilot

we could probably find it at work um and

obviously

people know him from family ties um

but yeah so then basically she goes on

television gives that interview

describing like the ndas and what he

does to people

and then he has a heart attack yeah or

or an epic or something yeah some kind

of a heart problem

which he describes as a heart attack to

his his medical team

right even though two doctors are like

you're fine it's you're good

so they take him to a hospital and he

demands a pacemaker

and he's like telling him like

specifically what brand of pacemaker he

wants yeah what what battery

yeah it's like don't give me that other

battery from yeah don't give me that

medtronic's battery

i'm gonna know i'm gonna know the

difference um

and uh while he's in the hospital

um bones has found out about it and

calls myrna lloyd to be like

oh my god what happened i didn't think i

did this to him and she's like this

isn't your fault

he's really strong he's and the doctor

said he's actually fine he's just

this is basically an elective surgery

they couldn't kill him with a meat axe

and then she hangs up and turns around

in this really weirdly romantic music

place while she sits down at the counter

with a big plate of brownies

yeah i think she keeps making brownies

over the course of this

and i think that was alluding to the

fact that she's pregnant

yes okay so that's why she's eaten a

bunch of plates of brownies

but she's the first time she goes to

make brownies is in the middle of the

night at peter weller's house right well

i think it's a little unclear as to how

much time is passing

throughout this movie like i think that

it's like you know they make it seem

like she gets married real quick and

like all this stuff is happening i'm

still not clear whose baby it is and

i've seen it a couple times

i don't think it's clear well it has to

be oh no because she does have

sex with him after the first abortion

yeah

like the day after yeah uh

because she calls the abortion clinic

again but she doesn't say anything she

hangs up

yeah and and she says at the end that

she's going to keep this baby

right but and yes yeah what are you

going to name it and

and she says herschel yeah you know

implied we're skipping a part here

which is she goes back to this romantic

interlude with her brownies

and then the phone rings again and she

answers it and it's baby

max's daughter saying oh my god you've

got to come quick he's got to say your

goodbyes like trying to trick her

into thinking that he's dying and also

to get him get her to the hospital

and so she goes to the hospital to see

him because she thinks that she killed

him

with this interview and uh and it turns

out he's

totally fine and she on her way into the

hospital she walks past kathy passed out

on the

on the chairs and though who got dragged

out of his room

you know screaming that she loves him

and yeah and she

doesn't want him to die yeah he he does

like a gesture to myrna lloyd

sweeping away she's completely

infatuated with him already oh also

max's wife died right we glossed over

that

she also died yeah she yeah she choked

on something

while he sat there and he said that he

sat there and watched he was like

i was i was just sitting there there was

nothing i could do it's like it makes it

sound really awkward that you'd look

like

a baby of beef wellington and she died

after i fired her doctor

but baby does say like he was really

like upset

no and i i believe that of the character

the point is supposed to be that

like he didn't murder this person but

she died and now he's free to marry his

mistress and uh glad we cleared that up

yeah and cleared the path

just in case anyone was worried this was

a bad person right

we definitely just you know threw some

beef wellington in there to kill the

wife and then

now we're good we come here yeah we kill

a lot of wives in this movie

yeah off screen for almost no reason

um and then uh and uh so she gets to the

hospital and they have like this

really long shot like a slow zoom

conversation between the two of them

which they

unless there's cue cards right off

screen they have these lines memorized

for a solid four minutes

and uh and it's just the two of them

arguing

like love hate arguing with each other

about

what they've done over the past couple

months and

she says she's going to make the movie

he's going to give her the studio and

he's basically

negotiating yeah negotiating their

prenuptial agreement

but it's hardly negotiating because he's

kind of giving her into every demand

that she makes

over the course of it not really i mean

i mean so she's like what are you going

to do with kathy

well he says he's going to kill him that

girl loves me that she loves me

it's so creepy like that that light is

so creepy to me like it honestly sounds

like trump in the access hollywood tape

like

the way he talks about kathy yeah let me

tell you something sweetheart

that little girl she loves me i mean

she's in love with me

she's a very special little girl bright

and nice and good

and i adora i could wind up married to

kathy

she's a wonderful girl i'm like that's

just so creepy well trump is loosely

based on this character

and uh a millionaire with a wife that

you know yeah just choked to death on a

beef wellington

a lot of people don't know that about

[Music]

wife i forget which one did that anyway

um and then over the course of this this

argument he he

reads the title of the film just tell me

what you want

for i think the third time out loud in

the film that the title is spoken

it's also spoken once in mcgruber just

tell me what you want

and once in a spice girls song

different context uh we we kind of

skipped over

one aspect of uh from the beginning of

the movie where it opens up with

the fight scene right because the the

the opening narration

is her kind of walking out of a store as

max is walking in and

it freeze phrases on her like hitting

beating him over the head with a purse

first yeah

but the actual fight goes on and causes

all kinds of severe collateral property

damage

he's like knocking stuff out of people's

hands running through the store

crashing into things yeah she throws

like a thing and a whole display of like

perfumes that

shatter yeah well and i don't know if

you watched the trailer for this movie

but it

like it's entirely that scene and so

like all

all this lengthy like plot that they

have in here and all these b

stories and all this stuff that's

happening none of that's in the trailer

the only thing that's in the trailer is

her beating the crap out of him and so

it just makes her look like oh

it's a movie about a crazy mistress like

it's not yeah

it's not even clear that first of all

like he's

a psychopath that's doing psychological

damage to these women

and you know on top of that that she

like has totally legitimate reasons for

being

furious with him and it's just and it

makes you think that it's just like some

yeah like some silly rom-com that you

know that's

like she chases him out into the street

and he's like trying to get into his

limo but the doors are locked so he has

to go around it to get in the other side

and they use the line in the trailer

they use the like just tell me what you

want from one of the times that he said

in the movie and then it just cuts to

her kneeing him in the balls

like that's what you want just to knee

you in the balls

but that's about it for the story of the

film

um i don't think that it ages well

um in in the metoo sense

no not at all i mean it was like so the

first time i watched this movie

i was just like i think you were angry

or the first i was really livid like i

watched this maybe i'm just like this is

appalling

i can't this is like this is just

terrible and then

you know i calmed down a little bit and

people told me like you guys told me

it's like we'll put it in the context of

the

of the era in which it was written and

that makes it

only slightly better and then i look up

and i'm like oh j

uh j press and alan like you know

female writer in school no i'm like how

did you know who is this guy oh

it's a woman how did a woman write this

movie

yeah and you know it's not even a letter

it's the it's the name

j president it's not even her real name

yeah it's like she changed it

she probably literally changed it so

that she could get work in hollywood

yeah probably though you know it says

you know it was i read that she

she said she never felt discriminated

against in hollywood

right you know that's what you say to

stay on the good graces of the people

that are

that are discriminated against you yeah

exactly

the people who get to go the highest in

the in the hierarchy are the ones who

pretend like there's no

problems anywhere everything's great

at least at the time um

yeah uh why don't we do a quick round

the table and say

up or down is this movie worth watching

and i'll start if you guys want

i'm gonna say nah if you're if you're

looking to

watch everything that matters from the

1980s you can skip this one

yeah it's a definite skip yeah i'm gonna

have to also give this the

the old pass all right so that's that's

three

three no goes on this one um

and if you want to check our letterboxed

account at letterboxed.com

vintagevideopod you can find our

rankings for the year

um and each of us is going to put this

in the number one slot

it won't stay there alone um

but we'll keep updating this as we go uh

but

unfortunately because this is the only

movie so far from the 1980s it will be

the highest rated but as a plus it will

also be the lowest rated

[Laughter]

why don't we get into some trivia here

loosely

relevant to uh the film um the first

question

i guess just raise your hands

[Laughter]

who played dick and dora parodies of

nick and nora

in robert moore's murder by death

you should probably call in all right

the only person who has his hand up

richard has raised his hand uh that

would be uh

david niven and maggie smith that is

correct right

um what is the original title of the

film tremors

hand they had to change it because of

saturday night live

the blues brothers i asked this question

to someone at work to test today and he

was like

coneheads like that's not a terrible

answer

oh they're correct oh is it landshark

land sharks it's the original title of

tremors

[Laughter]

but uh that was like right when that

sketch became really popular and they

were like okay well we can't do this

anymore

um i think trevor's is a much better

title anyways yeah i agree

um what recent real commercial did peter

weller

recently reprise the role of robocop for

oh i know this one too in a commercial

yeah this was like a month ago stupid

like a

doritos commercial no it's better it's

better richard

it's peter weller as robocop

as colonel sanders and it's actually him

that's that's true and we're doing the

rotation where everyone gets a shot at

being

uh yeah colonel sanders that's

definitely the best one so far and

they've done a really good job with that

kfc

campaign but that was the best one i'll

have to watch that um

what is the three letter code that kanan

wins colonel bat guano chose

as the combination to deactivate the

doomsday device in dr strangelove a

three-letter code

yeah it's three letters that turn off

all the nukes and turn the planes around

so they don't

set off the doomsday device off no

abc no nobody knows this one well

there's

they if after he kills himself in the

movie they

have to go through his own personal

notes to try and figure it out and they

find

all these notes about purity of essence

because he's obsessed with like fluoride

and uh and so the letters are p

or o p e but it's just a rearranging of

the letters p

o e purity of essence or piece on earth

so those are the letters that he chose

but

he put them in the order o p e that was

the recall code to get the planes to

turn around and not nuke russia

i like my answer better yeah yeah

i gotta say that's a pretty obscure bit

of trivia but i love it well i remember

it

that was when i didn't have to look up

or anything it also makes an appearance

in uh

raising arizona it's like scrawled on

the back of the bathroom door

when they bust in to like clean

themselves off after they

climbed out of the hole in the ground um

and then the last question uh in this

batch is

what does love mean in love's story

i haven't seen love story i also have

not seen love's story very popular

phrase

love means never having to say you're

sorry

correct oh very nice there you go

that's i just know that because i never

apologize for

anything i do to you for me love means

always having to say you're sorry

that is the two sides of our

relationship i think that's everything

for this movie

um if you have any thoughts you'd like

to share with us we are vintagevideopod

on twitter facebook

instagram and letterbox where as i said

before you can also find

each of our full movie rankings for the

year it's also linked to on our website

vintagevideopodcast.com

please consider rating us on itunes to

help people find the show and if you

find the time please leave us a review

and we will personally thank you

at the end of an upcoming episode if

you're feeling especially generous you

can support the show through patreon at

patreon.com vintage video podcast

thank you so much for listening and i

hope you'll join us next time when we'll

be discussing

windows which wikipedia calls a 1980

erotic thriller film

directed by gordon willis and starring

talia shire joseph cortese

and elizabeth ashley we leave you now

with the trailer

four windows

someone broke in he's

[Music]

you don't have to say anything you don't

want to say

i can't i want you to stay home and

don't let anyone in

where is it hello