we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

i picked the wrong way to quit sniffing

blue light of my life

we enjoy your films

i thought they smelled bad on the

outside

[Music]

welcome to vintage video where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time

i'm patrick o'reilly i'm jesse bayless

and i'm richard wells and today marks

the 40th anniversary of the release of

the private eyes on april 17th

1980. it was written by tim conway and

john myers

and mel brooks and john grant and a

bunch of other people if you want to

include the borrowed jokes

uh it was directed by lang elliot and

released by new world pictures

headed at the time by roger corman it

was their highest grossing release of

all time

while that company existed uh sequel

about capturing the wukolar was planned

and scrapped thankfully

yeah what that's the monster from the

end of the film

they keep they keep referencing it

throughout the movie

i apparently did not pay good enough

she's already wiped that part

uh the biltmore estate in asheville

north carolina was built

for george washington vanderbilt the

second from

1889 to 1895 and is the largest

privately owned house in the united

states it is still owned by his

descendants

it was also used in forrest gump richie

rich being there

last of the mohicans patch adams and

hannibal among others

the house had to be insured for 400

million dollars for the production

all the secret passages are authentic to

the home which is

super crazy so cool and uh that reminds

me of uh when they did the greystone

stuff on macgyver

whenever they go into secret passages

those are all authentic to the home also

so that's not just something that was

made up for the movie

the only thing that was made for the

movie was the rotating wall yeah

that uh when the chairs were being

swapped and the

homeowner liked that set that they built

so much that he left it in place

in the house it's kind of baffling to me

that that there were actually ever

secret passageways in houses like i

thought that was something that's always

been just made up for the movies

like i understand that like older houses

uh

you know would have like served

passageways

but these like were legit hidden doors

in the wall

yeah that's just how they disguised it

so that you didn't have to see how

how the staff got around the home very

sneaky

character oh you kind of snuck up on me

there i am very very sneaky sir

i also like the concept that you just

have these like hallways

like there's no restrictions on how to

get in or out you can't like ever secure

a room

yeah because there's always another way

in i also want to believe that there

were actually paintings with the eyes

cut out when they got there

in the separate bedrooms tim conway

intrigued by the homes library

asked to see a specific rare book which

they soon realized was missing from the

library

initially he was accused of stealing the

book himself

but further inspection revealed that a

total of 60 rare books had been stolen

by a security guard on the property

he worked at the home it wasn't a part

of the production

and uh he was charged and sentenced in

1981 for the crime of stealing from the

library

so they wouldn't have caught it if tim

conway hadn't been like oh i heard you

have this book can i take a look at it

and that's when they realized that some

books were missing

uh this is the sixth and final team up

of tim conway and don knotts not

including a cameo in cannibal run two in

84.

according to knotts the script was

written over

two days which i believe yeah that's not

shocking at all

yeah and it was shot sequentially yeah

so i'm pretty sure they were

writing as they were going yeah i

wouldn't be surprised

so we start the film outside of this

mansion where the morleys randolph and

victoria

are getting into a car at night at first

at first i was

certain that this was maggie smith oh

okay

but i was i was like surprised that like

oh this is 1980 maggie smith was still

really young

but she sounds like old maggie smith

that's fine i had the exact

same thought actually well she would

definitely play that part if they remade

the film too

except that this part lasts all of like

two minutes

right which is all this movie would be

worth of maggie smith's time

that would be her entire budget would be

that's how much they could pay for her

while they're sitting in the car

randolph at one point says

all's well that ends satisfactorily

[Music]

which is a clue moving forward at a huge

spoiler

uh victoria is strangled while randolph

is in the house looking for something

yeah he goes back for his smokes right

and and she corrects him like oh you're

not saying it correctly and i was like

is he like a spy are they like are they

like like sleeper agents and they

haven't quite

adapted because i had no idea what was

going on in this movie from from like i

know nothing know

nothing about this movie so i was like

are they like

undercover spies and they don't quite

have the parlance right or something

like that yeah but i don't get why it

was even a plot point

to bring up yeah but he comes back with

them

and she's dead uh in the passenger seat

which here we call the driver seat

yeah uh and he is struck in the back of

the head with a pipe

and knocked unconscious and then their

rolls-royce is basically stolen and

driven into a lake

which almost killed the stunt driver

because the there was a person behind

the wheel of the car

and it was supposed to get pulled back

out of the lake immediately and it got

stuck in a bunch of mud and they

couldn't get it out of the lake so we

had to get out of the car

and then a newspaper headline announces

the deaths of randolph and victoria

morley

and then we move into this really

half-assed

animated credits sequence that it feels

like

it's trying so hard to be pink panther

but it's just the same joke over and

over and over again which is this

hooded grim reaper figure pushes a bomb

to them and then it explodes but they

never even react to the explosions

they're just kind of like oh the bomb

went off let's reset

and it just happens over and over again

i think that this sequence this title

sequence

gives it i mean as well as some of the

look of the rest of the movie

it feels like a much older movie than it

actually is

for sure it feels like uh you know early

70s

type of movie i think that's why it's

the last one that they did together

because

i think even when they were sitting down

to watch this movie they were like oh

these are done like people didn't like

this one

oh they liked it enough it made like

nine times its budget back

right but the budget was almost nothing

to begin with that's true um

there there is a quick clip in that

animated intro where

someone like flips a painting over and

on the back it says the shadow was here

which at the time i thought was just a

dumb joke about like the shadow like the

radio program

but they start referring to this

character as the shadow over the course

of the film this

hooded figure we come back to live

action and we have the car with

inspector

winship and dr tart uh clearly

playing a sherlock holmes and and uh

watson

parody but uh they're americans they're

detectives from america who are for some

reason working with scotland yard yeah

they never really explain that it

doesn't make any sense to me

well they say at some point it's like

it's because of your inventions that we

can't go

home yeah we can't work in america but

for some reason scotland puts up with us

yeah

but uh yeah okay fine

england puts up with it london england

scotland is england's yard their

backyard

oh kind of like how canada's our hat

yeah okay

they have a lot of pigeons in the back

seat which will be used for messaging

moving forward what year is this

supposed to be taking place in

1940 i think i think it's 43 on the

newspaper yeah

okay tim conway pulls out the time gun

which is one of his inventions that has

caused problems for them and he's waving

it around

it's a gun that it doesn't shoot people

through time or anything

it just fires a bullet every hour as

long as it's

it's safety isn't on and it's loaded

yeah and uh

we promptly get a shot through the

passenger side window of this car

by the way you better turn it off it's

almost three o'clock

and then i like tim conway just sort of

like pulling the panes of glass out of

the window and like pushing it into the

road

i think i waited the entire movie for

that to have a significant payoff

because it returns

but the payoff is never good good enough

for it

it's not quite chekov's gun it's just

kind of the time gun

yeah cause it would it would have been a

great thing if like someone had like

it's like i'll just hang on to this

and then you know get shoots themselves

later or like at the last second like it

looks like they're about to die and then

someone gets shot and they're like oh

this thing's still on i thought i turned

it off

at exactly an hour passed when it went

off the first time or even a great joke

like is that they know it's going to go

off but it's like

like he looks at his watch he's like it

doesn't go i was like

oh your watch is like probably a little

bit a little bit slow hang on

hang on like did you wind the watch on

the gun

oh no i didn't yeah so many

opportunities for a funny joke never

happens no they don't take advantage of

those

and this is like his only crazy

invention the only one that we see

other than if if the pigeon the

messenger pigeons are supposed to be an

invention

and joker's gun from batman 1989

right yeah they pull up to a gas station

where gas is 10 cents a gallon

and uh the station attendant recognizes

them from the paper

and he gets very excited because they're

the two dumb detectives

there's some article about how famously

dumb they are and how they bungled some

huge case

in america and got sent there but this

guy sounds extremely australian

right do you know who this guy is oh i

know who this guy is so excited i don't

know who this guy is both of these guys

the the two guys at the gas station you

remember the guy that

okay so there's the gas station

attendant and there's maybe his father

or

some old uh who like has like

you know his bottom jaw sticks out and

he's got a big white beard that's blue

that's my boy blue

you're my boy blue from old school oh

i cannot believe he was still alive when

old school came out considering how old

he is in this scene

in 1980 uh if i pulled him up here hang

on his name is patrick cranshaw

uh he got i was looking at his different

credits this is great

uh he got his first credit as of old man

in an episode of green acres in 1970

so that was the first time he was

credited as an old man yeah

and he died like two years after old

school which is what like 2006

but he also plays the hobo in peewee's

big adventure

uh he's an ancient sorter in the

hudsucker proxy

yeah yeah the guy on the assembly line

and uh he plays norm's grandpa

on the norm series the sitcom on

norman mcdonald but the gas station

attendant is abe lincoln from bill and

ted's excellent adventure

awesome that's wonderful i love these

two people are my favorite people in the

movie and they don't

they don't show up past the scene which

it's like it's like when you see

socrates

in in scrooged so great

are you him oh you he

of course because they're idiots uh they

sign the autographs

on the paper about how they're idiots

and then

promptly blow up the gas station

spilling gas everywhere and

knocking someone's cigar on the ground

so that the whole thing goes up in

flames

um and while they're making a joke about

how they're certain to leave a trail of

their screw-ups um and then they pull up

to the mansion

we get the bond theme very briefly here

i heard that

as well yeah they worked it into like

the beginning of the score to the film

so it comes back on and off but this is

the first

note of it that we get the butler brings

them into the home but then

attacks tart every time he mentions

murder

it says trigger word yeah it's a

hilarious recurring joke that's not

funny

at all it's not funny the first time and

it gets progressively less funny

the only way to to stop him is to beat

him

yeah either smack him across the face or

literally knee him in the balls

also like once again the joke never

really has a payoff no

it doesn't so you would think they're

set they're setting something up by the

fact that this keeps reoccurring but it

literally goes nowhere

yeah and they don't they also don't

explain his aversion to this word

at all over the course of the plot of

the film except that he was accused of

killing his family right so anytime he's

heard the word murder in any context

since then he was gone crazy

yeah okay well this woman comes out

what what would you say this woman's job

title is she's a member of the staff of

the

well she's i think she's credited as

nanny

okay she's the nanny to two old people

yeah

interesting well it's not the weirdest

cast of characters that they no

no but i'm just saying like when i was

going through it i was like oh is this

like

this is this is the groundskeeper no

it's not the groundskeeper there's a

groundskeeper character is this a mate

no it's not the maid it's

who is this person what is her title

what does she do for the house is she

the chef no she's not the chef there's a

chef

so i'm not clear with this chef what

this woman's uh

official title is but she's the one who

keeps

slapping and kneeing uh the butler and

the balls so that he will stop

freaking out about the word murder they

present a letter signed by lord morley

after his death asking him to

investigate his death

it's not a joke it's just it just

doesn't make sense

then they steal the walk this way joke

because the butler got kneed in the

balls and he says walk this way and he

sort of limps off screen and then the

other two limp off screen to follow him

we see a hooded figure watching from

behind a hidden door in the wall

very obviously watching like later on

they use the old

eye behind the painting gag but here

it's clearly in view of everyone yeah

it's just leaning in a doorway yeah

they're they're introduced to

the mistress randolph's mistress and she

says that she's the sole heir to the

fortune but if

if she dies that the staff gets to split

the money

she's not she's not the mistress she's

jesus the mistress

of the house of the house yeah like head

of household so she's cheating with the

house

yes god now i understand it completely

anyway she's the sole heir to the

fortune um

and if she dies then the staff gets it

uh tim conway decides he's going to send

a message to

scotland yard this is the only time i

laughed in this movie this is a really

solid

uh solid joke that actually got me

uh he takes out a pigeon he writes the

message and then he goes to throw it out

the window but the window is shut and he

throws

a live pigeon through a plate glass

window better send it off to the yard

let them know we're here

and then we see it like disoriented it

can't even fly anymore it probably broke

its neck

no they probably just drugged them or

something yeah no i don't know that was

pretty upset maybe they just threw it

through a plate glass window

but either way it's funny the way it

wobbles around on the ground afterwards

at vintage video we do not condone the

harmony of animals for the negative

films

i'm ironically only when it was funny

only before they put a disclaimer at the

ends of phil's

which didn't happen until i think 83.

the two detectives move into morley's

office

where they find something in the trash

it's the newspaper it's the article

about how dumb they are

yeah and how they screwed up the case um

the implication being

i think that someone read that article

and then sent them the letter

to hire them after reading about how

dumb they were

like they specifically wanted two bad

detectives on the case

they moved through the

hidden passageways yeah they um they

they find a walk-in humidor

right and but and they go to grab a

cigar but there's a dog locked up inside

and the dog scares them into tumbling

backwards through the first secret

right and as they're moving through this

passage they

find santa's skeleton

what was happening i think the

implication is that santa actually died

in this chimney

yeah and they fall through the chimney

and roll out into

uh the living room well yeah a bomb a

classic cartoon style round bomb with

fuse

rolls out but it doesn't actually injure

them in any way beyond just like

pushing them down this chimney and they

roll out uh

of a fireplace into the middle of a

living room where they meet the entire

staff

of the property which it's surprisingly

few people for how big this place is

right but each one of them is just

insane yes so as we're moving through

i think the first person we meet is

the chef um maybe

i i have them i have them all listed

okay but i don't have them in any

particular order

so the chef is an asian stereotype it's

actually at least played by a japanese

person yeah but he

i just feel so bad for him yeah because

it's just

everything that's wrong with everything

and

i feel like they saw murder by death and

they were like oh those kind of jokes

are okay

and it's like no the point you have to

do it

exactly right to make it clear that

you're making a joke about how they use

those characters in old movies

and here it just feels like you're

trying to make jokes about chinese and

japanese people i felt like that

throughout the entire movie

that they saw murder by death and

they're like we could do that

yeah and they really didn't do that yeah

so the chef is the first person they

meet and he's

basically like a crazy samurai mm-hmm on

top of being the chef of the house

uh we meet the maid who is like the

classic french maid yeah

she's wearing the french maid outfit

she's like blonde and has a french

accent uh we meet the groundskeeper

who's like a crazy

old scottish guy covered in dirt yeah he

and he's a

and he's a gypsy oh right he's a gypsy

that's right a romani

if you're going to be more politically

correct we meet the chauffeur

i think as one of the people uh

uh i don't have a chauffeur on here i

have i have uh

the chef i have the groundskeeper

tibbetts the gypsy

uh hilda the maid what is jock's job

jacques

is oh maybe he is the chauffeur i think

he was the chauffeur but he's like the

hunchback of notre dame

yeah kind of and he's clearly supposed

to be like jacques

like it's a french name but they just

call him jock and he's credited as jock

and then we have the butler and the

woman from the front

door um and when i was reading up about

the movie like they they credit

the the woman who speaks with a german

accent as a nazi

oh do they yeah and i was like well yeah

this is like if this was the 40s i guess

they would

still be around yeah but it would be

active

right i mean world war ii is happening

right now

but this woman was for some reason a

nazi and working

as a as a maid in london yeah

winship and tart basically reenact what

they think the crime was

outside of the house and by reenacting

it actually

commit the crime so one person is

strangled in the

in the passenger seat not to death but

near to death

and then it's don knotts is getting

choked out and then

tim conway starts the car and basically

drives it off like he's gonna drive it

into the lake again yeah yeah dr tart

has to

like in a sherlock holmesian style

recreate the crime scene mentally but

instead of doing it mentally

does it completely again yeah and

but instead of crashing it into a lake

this time they just crash it into the

building

and don knotts makes a huge leap of like

oh so

he was strangled he was struck over the

head and the killer

stood on the running board and drove the

car into the lake it was like how did

you

deduce any of this yeah

i guess we're just trying to move the

plot forward yeah we're just trying to

say we know exactly what happened in

that scene so just

take it at face value that we know what

happened in that scene okay moving

forward

we have uh the maid is

uh cleaning a hallway when a hand

reaches out of

a a hole in the wall to poison a drink

on a cart that she has

and she moves to serve the pis a drink

and they take it but whatever it was in

the drink is like making it bubble

and so before they even take a sip of it

they're like oh that's where the drink

is bubbling and they're like

oh you probably just have to stir it to

calm it down and they put a spoon in it

to stir it

and it totally like it's like acid

basically and it eats through the whole

spoon and he pulls it out it's just a

spoon handle

so maybe we need to cover this later

when we reveal

who the killer actually is but i'm

confused as to who

invited them here

okay we can i i think i know who invited

them yeah i i believe i know as well

okay we can we can wait till the big

reveal well i just

yeah okay i just want to make sure that

i think there's still going to be some

big holes it just doesn't make sense to

me that the killer is trying to

kill them in this scene like

do they need to be gotten out of the way

i don't even think if they're

if they're bubbly idiots like that

aren't really going to solve this case

aren't they supposed to just fulfill

their job of not solving the case and

leave

why invite them at all if you didn't

want them to solve the case that's what

i'm saying

yeah i don't know there's there's

problems with it

uh we get a second pigeon message this

time it's thrown out of a real window

that is open

but it is immediately struck by

lightning i thought it was shot

i think it's shot

i just assumed that the killer shot the

bird to prevent the message from leaving

oh maybe

there was a scene where they were they

talked to the chef and he just keeps

like

gesturing he's like chopping things with

his samurai swords on the table and they

they have this horribly racist just like

be constantly bowing

and uh oh right so yeah then

then the tea then they go to question

him about the tea because they think oh

because i think

uh nanny uh says that oh uh

you know watson created this tea for you

yeah and they go to talk to him and they

find him in the dumb waiter

he's like folded in half in the dumb

waiter with like a chicken in his lap

yeah and they're like oh well this guy's

dead and then they get

a clue on the on the chef in this house

it's hard to survive

some will be dead who are now alive mr

watson was gone because he knew too much

bye for now but rest assured we'll keep

in constant contact with each other

that's how the message ends so it's like

there's a clear rhyme but then the joke

is that they

they don't write they differ from the

rhyme it's it's

kind of funny here it's my mildly music

the first time yes but then when it

keeps going then you're just like oh

they're just gonna do this every time

and it stops being funny

immediately with the second one because

you see it coming every time

a third pigeon is uh is released to send

a message to scotland yard but

it lands next to the chicken in the

chef's lap

and cries because it was a distant

relative

yeah the running gag here too with all

the bodies that they're going to find is

that

they discover the body but when they try

to bring someone to show the body

that it does it disappears yeah so as

they're they move out of the room and

then the dumb waiter moves and basically

swallows this body

it like folds in half as the dumbwaiter

is going down and then when they come

back it's just gone

they go to find the groundskeeper who is

digging a grave

very blatantly digging a grave in the

cemetery and they're like what are you

doing and he said i'm digging for worms

uh and he says he lets them know that

morley's crypt was actually built to

unlock from the inside because he was

deathly afraid of being buried alive

which is similar to i want to say thomas

jefferson or somebody was afraid of

being buried alive and had a

had one of those bells that was not that

was common at the time

though to to put a bell with a string

that went down to the

to the coffin so that you could rig it

if you woke up buried alive

because doctors were notoriously [ __ ]

back then but

i just took a nap who's watching out for

all the bells

that's what the person in the graveyard

was supposed to do like their job was to

listen for the bells

i would love to that would be a cool

scene in a movie like that takes place

in the

17 or 1800s where that guy's there in

the middle of the night and suddenly all

the bells start ringing at the same time

it's just like oh [ __ ] it's just a windy

night a terrible doctor oh yeah it's

just

just a breeze that'd be great

they decide that uh they're gonna try

and find his crypt when they get that

message

but uh when they come back to where

tebbit was he's been killed

and the gravestone that a fully made out

gravestone has another bad rhyme on it

dig your own grave is quite a sight but

to bury yourself is not very bright

there are more to kill and the job will

be done

now there are five soon there'll be a

lot less

you'd have to plan so far ahead to like

carve that into a

gravestone and get it there yeah it's

not clear how long this plan took to put

together anyway

but uh they move into the house well

they immediately go back to find

to find job jock and he's dead yeah he's

been killed

they get another bad rhyme if jacques

could talk he'd give you a clue

but now that he's dead what can you do

you deserve what he got i don't regret

it a bit

by the way you're standing in bulkaka

all of the bodies disappear what they

are back in their room

in the mansion and don knotts says oh

get my coat out of the closet and he

goes to get his coat out of the closet

and

the closet's empty he says your coat's

not there he says we'll check again i'm

pretty sure it's in there

he's like there was there's nothing in

here it's empty and he said open it

again and then he opens it again and the

coat's there

and there's a message with the coat i

don't remember what the message says

it doesn't matter did they even read it

i said when i died that i'd come back if

you believe in ghosts you're on the

right track

i'm out of the grave and roaming the

moors if you want to be safe you better

lock all the windows

and screams yeah they read all of them

and they're all the rhymes are stupid

because they don't rhyme except for one

there's only one yeah there's one that

rhymes and i was like is that a clue

that this is the person but yeah so they

get a note here

but it's not like after a person died so

i don't understand

well because they go out at this point

tim conway is convinced that

morley isn't dead right so they want to

go to the mausoleum yeah so they go to

the mausoleum

and open up the crypt and there's a

freaking halloween decoration

pop-up out of it yeah it looks like a

ralph into all a good night when he sits

up in the

in the bushes it just like pops up and

scares them and they run out

um and that's where they find hilda dead

in the elevator

right um and uh

hilda's note is the one that does rhyme

for some reason hilda is dead

and here's something to note you can't

bury her at sea

because her bosoms will float but then

her body disappears

and they find another passage which they

follow to the heiress's room

and they start watching her undress

through holes in a painting

the butler dies his note doesn't rhyme

so we're back to the

notes not rhyming now there's one less

that has to be fed

but justin can't serve you cause he's

dead

uh the guru was right you can come back

when you said there was a ghost you were

on the right trail

tart is killed wait because they

they're moving through a passage and

they find the butler's body in a chair

strangle strangled by a cuckoo clock

right in which he

deliberately set to midnight so he could

get the bird out and kill it

yes and this is the wall that rotates

and it rotates back around and they

leave

tart's tart sitting in the chair

strangled and it looks like he's dead

there also

but it turns out he's not dead they just

almost killed tart

yeah um for no reason then the last

staff member dies the woman who's been

kneeing the butler in the balls so

basically the only person we have left

is the heiress

that we know of and then presumably

there's there's the corpses of the

morleys

that we know at least one is not in its

grave because there's the halloween

decoration in there instead of a body

we get a joke that i preferred in

earnest scared stupid our two detectives

follow the clues to a trap room where

they're almost beheaded

but then they get dumped through a

garbage chute and squeezed into a block

of trash

which i think ernest p world did best

because he's like walking around with

the block of trash around him

but but again nothing happens to them

these guys are not killable

yeah and and so i don't know if they

were ever in

any real danger i don't even know if

anyone was trying to kill them

right yeah well we know that somebody

was trying to kill them because somebody

put poison in their drink at some point

but maybe that person knew that that

would never get to their mouths

somehow and they wanted them to know

there was poison in it

yes because they wanted them to know

that there was a murderer in the house

i i'm just no it doesn't make any sense

but uh they come out of the garbage

chute squeezed into a block of trash

they go to find the heiress who's like

packing up her stuff

in this atrium area and she basically

confesses that she killed the morleys

and as she's confessing that she killed

the moralies the entire staff walks in

because

anytime you see a body disappear in one

of these murder mystery movies it means

that person wasn't dead

yeah that you never go back and find

that same corpse somewhere else to go

yep still dead

it's always because the person was alive

and they had to hide the body before

someone could check and see that it

wasn't dead

basically they are thanked by

randolph yeah for getting the confession

from her yeah so morley is alive

he is the shadow or at least was the

shadow sometimes because

in his flashback he sees phyllis as the

shadow

right uh so maybe the one who poisoned

the tea

was phyllis asked the show so this this

is why i'm super confused about this

because okay so morally set this whole

thing up

but he didn't set it up until after

his wife was killed yeah or or he knew

it was coming

and set it up before his wife it was

totally okay with the wife getting

killed in the press apparently

because he faked getting knocked out

and driven into a lake no he said he

said

when they explained the whole thing he

said he woke up and he got out of the

car

and then he knew that everybody would

think he's dead and he had to

like plot to reveal that she did it

okay so which means he set this whole

thing up in a matter of

probably days to to get them here so i

assume

he wrote the letter to get them there i

thought he wrote the letter before his

wife was even killed

now see i i am more with jesse i think

that that he wrote it that night

yeah they walked sopping wet back into

the castle and wrote the letter

okay gotta say that she was have

together said hey

phyllis just tried to kill me here's the

plan but phyllis doesn't

know that someone's killing the staff

because she doesn't even seem to know

that any of them are dead

correct she's just confessing to killing

the morleys so

that's the elaborate point of killing

all this the only point would be

to confuse the two detectives that you

hired to get the confession

i i'm assuming that this is like a hairy

crumb situation in which

that they're just so infuriating that

she just was like yes fine

i did it i killed them i'm sick

of you two yeah either way

i don't get it and the motivations don't

make any sense yeah and the timing

doesn't make any sense

um but they're rewarded with a large

sarcophagus that we saw in one of the

passages that they were sneaking through

and as they're driving they continue

their discussion of the

the wukilar which is a large pig-faced

man

creature which uh then rises from the

sarcophagus predictably

and attacks them in the car and they

drive it off the side of the road

the end that's this movie

so yeah that was rough it was pretty bad

uh director lang elliott uh not a whole

lot

he's currently working on a cujo sequel

or reboot it's called cujo

k9 unit joint ops

this sounds like garbage to me i hope

that that

is a stephen king approved yes it has to

be right

is there anything that's that's not

stephen king approved other than

kubrick's training

this was written by tim conway as we

said before

who uh appears in the film as dr tart

and john myers

uh john myers played doyle and the prize

fighter

with conway and knotts which he also

co-wrote with conway

conway obviously was in the apple

dumpling gang movies with knotts

he came back three years later for a tv

series called ace crawford private eye

that might have been like he was

disappointed with how this film turned

out and he wanted to come out and do a

private eye show

but the show didn't last for very long

but he's probably best known as barnacle

boy

on spongebob squarepants yes uh and also

the carol burnett show but mostly

spongebob

don knotts was inspector winship who you

probably know from the andy griffith

show or three's company

he also appears in mad madman mad world

and a bunch of

other disney live action cartoons and

all kinds of stuff

this is what's really upsetting that i

believe

that don knotts and tim conway are

better than this

and i believe that don knotts is better

than this okay fair enough

uh because don knotts had a long career

before and had a long career

after this movie uh both just

his voice and just his you know mr

furley is a classic tv character yeah

uh but this just seemed like

i like cash grab or what i don't know

what yeah

there was really not not much thought

put into it

um and i watched the apple dumpling gang

to prepare for this

and they're essentially playing the same

exact characters which are goofy and not

funny and i can't believe that movie got

a sequel either

trisha noble was mistress phyllis morley

that's the the

suspected maggie smith uh she plays

uh jobel nabery in revenge of the sith

i don't know who that is i thought you

might uh

i think that you're thinking of the i

think you had the wrong morley it's

trisha noble play i'm sorry that's

mostly mr smartly uh but yeah she plays

padme's mother

in episodes two and three whose scenes

were deleted

oh really so she's she's in them but

she's not in them okay so that that was

the mistress not

not the maggie smith character yeah

bernard fox was the butler

justin who keeps getting neat in the

balls he's the voice of the chairman

in the rescuers movies um rescuers and

rescuers down here

he plays colonel gracie in titanic and

he's

captain havelock in the mummy yeah it

was such a great part

that that doesn't get explored very much

yeah but i i know him best as dr

bombay uh from bewitched oh okay because

like

he was the the warlock doctor or

whenever there was like a medical

witch problem uh doc paging dr bombay dr

bombay

and he would come right away and he

would always show up in some kind of

crazy garb

because he was immediately called from

whatever he was doing and had to appear

so

one time he's like a matador he's like

in a big fur coat you know because he

was in the north pole

yeah and so it's just like it's always

an inconvenience that he gets summoned

that's funny um we also have uh

grace sabrisky playing the nanny

character whatever that means

uh she was sarah palmer on twin peaks

the mother of

the disappeared girl uh she plays dottie

in armageddon

uh dottie and armageddon if you haven't

seen the film recently it's the wife of

the guy who discovers the meteor and he

names it after her because he hates her

so much yeah

i want to name her daddy after my wife

she's a vicious life-sucking [ __ ]

from which there is no escape

so uh that's the woman that's playing

the nanny uh she also plays grace poole

in child's play too which is the social

worker that andy gets sent to

um after the first film and she was lois

henriksen on b

on 53 episodes of big love which i

didn't watch any of that show but

i've heard good things um john fujioka

was

mr yuwatsum uh the only other credit i

thought was worth mentioning was that he

was the chief priest in mortal kombat

uh well i have a a another credit

okay that's going to be interesting

because of some connections

in this movie but he played emperor

hirohito

and uh macarthur oh okay and the gregory

pack macarthur

and and that's why i'm thinking like he

he played the emperor of japan

against gregory peck as macarthur and

then he played this character and then

he played this character

yeah that's sad yeah i was hoping you

were gonna be like you missed

bob genghis khan on his list it's like

oh yeah

uh but um there are two other macarthur

uh from the same version of macarthur

yeah in in this movie oh interesting so

we'll get to those

in a second as we go uh erwin keys was

jock

is he in there no i didn't think so but

here's the thing about irwin keys

because i did recognize one of his other

credits the credit of wheezy joe

from intolerable cruelty okay um because

but

his photograph on imdb i recognize him

from that but i don't know what it's

from

when i saw the picture of bernard fox i

was like this guy looked so familiar to

me but none of his credits

were what i was thinking of whatever it

was so i don't know if i'm just confused

but um but here i for jacques i had that

he was one of the police and the

warriors

and he's also joe rockhead in the

flintstones movie

and flintstones viva rock vegas which

not a lot of people were in both of

those

yeah so interesting uh fred stuffman

played lord morley

he was johnson an escape from alcatraz

he was

a mosaic figure in network and

i thought this credit jumped out at me

he plays a jewelry salesman in marathon

man

i was like i know a jewelry salesman and

marathon man

do you know who harry goss is no he did

the voice of captain murphy on sealab

2021. oh okay yeah

yeah his only live-action credit is as a

jewelry salesman in marathon man

and i was like they must have just been

co-jewelry salesman in the

one scene of marathon man but i was as

soon as i thought i was like oh he got

to work with uh

captain murphy from sealab that's

awesome well he also played

general bradley in macarthur okay

so it's another one that's the second

macarthur connection uh we already

mentioned that robert v

barron was abraham lincoln be excellent

to each other and party on dudes

but he also played a pow in my car

did he really i was like wait a minute

now i have to go through every one of

these and see if there's any more

mcarthur references

that's funny um and yeah we talked about

all of cranshaw's credits

and then the last credit on here that i

have is russy taylor yeah oh my god i

was so excited and so sad

yeah at the same time because she just

passed away um but she's probably

best known as minnie mouse yeah uh and

her husband was mickey mouse for a

really long time

and martin prince right martin prince

from the simpsons

she also did the voices of huey dewey

and louis on the original duct tape oh

she was webbing yeah um and uh she's

also

penny tompkins on the critic and

she was gonzo on the muppet babies and

this was her very first feature

and she was only used as the voice of

the doll

listen up dummies the help is all gone

the house is

bare now you know a shadow lives there

there is one left to die then my job

will be done

i like killing people it's a lot of

kicks yeah

she had like two other credits before

this yeah it's essentially like this is

her start

yeah and after this it was all uphill

but it's funny because like

that's not saying much yeah well how do

you go downhill from

but it was she was uphill all the way to

the end of her life yeah that's true i

mean she just was

never not working yeah she was even in

the new ducktales

was she really yeah she played she

played young

donald duck in a flashback oh was that

just in the first

episode when he's dropping them off no

no no it's uh it's a much later because

it's

more the connection with della because

donald was in the first episode but

you're saying he was like that was in

almost every episode

oh okay uh but uh yeah there's in the

second season

there's a whole bunch of stuff about de

la duck you know he would be right you

played that song for me that she sings

and uh there's a there's a time travel

episode

okay where the i think it's i think it's

dewey

travels back in time and sees della and

uh donald when they were kids

right they have to collect all the

stones so they can bring everybody back

uh and rusty taylor

is playing the voice of young donald

right that makes sense

well she's great i love her it's funny

that my three favorite people in this

movie are

patrick cranshaw robert baron and russy

taylor yeah

jess what do you think on this up or

down it's a big deal yeah it's down

yeah it's a it's a fast that's no all

right jess you want to kick us off here

yeah so i'm gonna i'm gonna put this

pretty low to the bottom

it's gonna be i think fourth from the

bottom for me right now which is between

cereal and a small circle of friends

okay uh mine is

uh above cereal but uh below forbidden

zone

so rhythm zone is moving up all right

it's getting away we're excited for it

but you put it above cereal also i put

it above seriously we did put it

here okay yeah no it was above cereal

below a small circle all right okay

um and i'm actually gonna do the same

thing um

above cereal and you know what no i'm

putting it below cereal

uh this is going between cereal and

defiance for me

i think that's about it for this one if

you guys have anything you'd like to

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when we will be discussing folks

which imdb summarizes thusly when

terrorists take over two oil rigs

and threaten to blow them up if their

demands are not met an eccentric

anti-terrorism expert volunteers his

unique commando unit to stop them

i would say that's almost accurate very

nearly yeah

um we leave you now with the trailer for

folks

he's a master strategist i am telling

you how to save the lives of 600 men

demolitions experts get onto the diving

section tell them i want a wetsuit and a

berry gun

and he doesn't need a license to kill

except for a slight squelch when

entering the flesh they do not make any

noise

roger moore fights against time and

terror

as folks have i ever let you down no

what's he like very hard cheers

on the other hand i suspect that you

picked the right man for the job

a wise decision i assure you the target

we're taking command of this ship

captain nobody's gonna get hurt if they

do exactly what they're told

the plan we want the british government

to pay us

a ransom if anyone takes any action

against us

everything goes up immediately

the mission if i say i will get my

mental wheelhouse unobserved i will do

so

the man yesterday one man completed the

exercise

today you will all complete the exercise

folks is fearless there are over 600

people relying on us to save their lives

folks is fatal kramer and his odious

colleagues will be dead

folks is fantastic three

two one

go if you want action

nothing will go wrong if you want danger

to have the money here on time or the

whole north sea will be on fire

if you want adventure everything is to

go

as planned if you want excitement

you want folks

[Music]

roger moore james mason anthony perkins

michael parks

folks he doesn't need a license to kill