we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

looks like i picked the wrong way to

quit sniffing blue light

of my life we enjoy your films

i thought they smelled bad on the

outside

[Music]

welcome to vintage video where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time i'm

patrick o'reilly i'm jesse bayless and

i'm richard walsh and today marks the

40th anniversary of the release of home

movies on may 16

1980 somewhere it was written by brian

de palma

kim ambler dana edelman robert harders

stephen lemay charlie leventhal gloria

norris

directed by brian de palma and released

by united artists

from wikipedia de palma had been

teaching film at his alma mater sarin

lawrence college

and conceived this project as a hands-on

training exercise for his students

they were given the primary

responsibilities of raising money

arranging the shooting schedule

and editing the film all under diplomas

supervision

many of these students such as gilbert

adler sam irvin

and charlie leventhal went on to long

careers of their own producing and

directing films

the budget was four hundred thousand

dollars and it made 39

000 in box office receipts which is the

only way we know that this movie was

ever released anywhere

i regret putting it on the list and i'm

sorry for putting either of you through

it

it's all right it was just i don't know

what to make of this

well i'm actually surprised if you're

telling me that the only thing that the

students did was

raise the money do a shooting schedule

and edit or are you saying they did more

because the fact that they well i did

read

seven writers i know there's seven

writers that should tell you

everything you need to know about this

movie what is this a scary movie

well so i think it was a story by brian

de palma and then they had

seven writers yeah i mean it's just ugh

yeah because those the scary movie

sequels and all the other like

blank movie spin-offs were always like

from six of the eighteen writers of

scary movie seven

yeah it's like why you know what's uh

what else is crazy is i think

phil and chris miller are in a lot of

those groups um but the first couple

scary movies were actually pretty funny

i got really excited when you're like oh

next week we're going to do a bryan de

palma film i'm like sweet

yeah i love bright apollo films they'll

get better

[Laughter]

we have another one this year dressed to

kill is in 1980 also love dressed to

kill

we start with this rough animation

introducing the cast in caricature

a doctor's fingers grow faces and

stretch to grab around a nurse character

we get a title that says the maestro

presents the maestro

starring in explorations in star therapy

written directed and produced by the

maestro everything you see happened

as it happened and those who know

none of this makes any sense uh we are

at now

college a college called now um and we

get

a title that says number one

introduction to the maestro

kirk douglas inexplicably enters the

class

why are you in this presumably a friend

of uh brian's

and he wanted to talk some hollywood

royalty into

impressing his students he enters the

class and he lectures the kids for a

moment on filmmaking

he punches a student who isn't paying

attention in the character of a boxer

like he's like

oh let me add him i could get him and

then he punches the kid in the face

congratulates him for taking the punch

so well um oddly enough kirk douglas

wasn't even supposed to be here

yeah he just wandered in and started

punching students

it's really great that we're rolling um

he shows the class a slideshow of a week

in grand central station with a picture

taken

each day um the thing that we're

supposed to notice

in this string of pictures is that uh

one student a former student of of the

maestros

is sitting on a suitcase in the middle

of grand central station for the entire

week of these pictures being taken

this doesn't make any sense and then the

kids monologue takes over from the

maestro

and we're i guess jumping back in time

he was having

weird like gorpesque sex with a girl on

the couch where everyone's fully dressed

and they're just kind of flopping around

like two fish that

got out of a tank and the mom walks in

and catches them

and then runs away crying and then the

dad walks in

and catches them and just kind of walks

away from them yeah and says tell your

mom i went to the office

we cut to his brother james teaching

spartanetic philosophy which is based on

the spartans which maybe that's why we

have kirk douglas in this movie yeah

well yeah cause he

he he's mentioning mentioning all like

all these famous

people and then he mentions and then

there's spartacus himself

he's like okay yeah he excuses the class

when he sees his mom crying and packing

a suitcase in a car

he goes back to his home and she tells

james that she caught

her husband cheating at work dennis is

watching this whole conversation from a

tree

which i thought he was like climbing

climbed up a tree watching through a

window

but then they sit down in the room and

he just like walks around the tree like

he was just hiding behind it

yeah i couldn't tell if he was actually

climbed up the tree or if he was just

standing behind a tree

it's shot weirdly a lot of time up in

trees in this movie yes

so the brother confronts their dad about

cheating on their mom and the dad just

beats him up

and i think it's played for like comedy

but it's not funny it's just weird like

every time he tries to yell at his dad

his dad punches him

and walks away from him dennis and

his father try to break down uh the

bedroom door

to prevent the mother from killing

herself with a bunch of pills

but she's just setting it up as a fake

yeah she's just trying to make them feel

guilty uh

dennis talks to his mother about

attending a family dinner that night

that is apparently very important to him

for some reason

at the door james warns his girlfriend

not to eat anything

when they go in for the dinner party i

don't understand this entire plot of not

eating things because it's poison

like it just i don't i think she just

doesn't want her to get fat and so he

tells her not to eat any food because

it's poisoned

yeah like it's he well he's not this

whole like diet plan

like he he's trying to be revolutionary

with

his way of thinking and his treatment of

women

uh but to him all regular food is poison

yeah

and so he's telling her not to eat

anything there and he refuses to eat

anything himself

but they go inside and james's date

has to leave the room because james has

like what is it called a

tmj like his jaw is like well that's

because the dad punched him in the face

right but it happens again later just

from him like yelling and his jaw like

locks up yeah it's it's this recurring

gag that keeps coming back in the movie

because the dad beat him

up in that first scene that he's

constantly having issues with his jaw

yeah but so his jaw is dislocated here

so he tells the girlfriend get out of

this room go in the other room and i'm

gonna fix it i don't want you to see

this

and she finds the mom in the kitchen

who's just crying

and then she goes and she finds dennis

she's like oh i'm so excited to meet you

i want to learn more about my boyfriend

and

i can learn that through you and they

have a little bit of a conversation

and then suddenly we're back at the

table everyone's eating well everyone

except for christina and james

who are avoiding the poison at the table

james stands up and announces his

engagement to christina to everyone

although he uses

some weird series of words to make it's

a social contract

yeah mom

dad i'd like to say something

christina and i have reached an

agreement to sign

a socio-romantic contract um

but nobody understands what he's saying

until he he paraphrases

by explaining that they're going to be

married yeah i just want to point out to

all the listeners

that we're making it sound almost like a

cohesive storyline here yeah but this is

a bunch of disjointed scenes

with weird dialogue that don't really

necessarily make sense until you add a

bunch of weird scenes later

that kind of explain what was happening

earlier

yeah that that is a good point to make

because i feel like what i've written

here

my outline is much better than the

script oh yeah by far

like what you're saying is like now you

understand the story that's what was

going on

i was so confused yeah the the

performances are very bad which is weird

because

the directing was just brian de palma so

unless he was just like

do whatever you want on set the whole

time because he didn't care because it

wasn't really his movie

or he wanted it to look more like a

student film then

he was like i don't know i don't know

what the reasoning is here but

christina decides she's going to try

some of the food but she chokes

on it and then james goes to

he prevents her choking by putting his

mouth on her mouth and just inhaling the

food out of her throat

the food out i guess and then dennis is

upset because he's like oh

why couldn't i have been the hero it's

like why do you care this is your

brother's fiance this is weird

although it doesn't sound like she had

any idea that he was going to announce

their engagement

i i'm not even clear that he had

proposed to her before that point it

just seems like

he was just trying to announce something

and that she would have to go along with

it because he said it

well i think that they've only been

together for two months yeah

james forces his girlfriend to tell the

story of when they met

not to the family but just back up in

their room

later when he's yelling at her for

trying any of the food at all he says

tell me the story of when we met

well it's really awkward because he's

trying to like force the story out of

her and

and he keeps going back and being like

making her add in extra details that she

didn't express

uh that i'm not clear

on if those details were things like he

wants to have happened or things that

did happen that she's leaving out

i think there are things that did happen

that she's leaving out that he wants her

to basically confess

the true story of their having met so

that he can purge her of it because it

almost felt more like he

fabricated this story of what he wanted

his safe saving of her to be and then

he's because of how quickly she agrees

right and he's forcing her to like

repeat it to reinforce it in her

story you know possibly nothing is very

clear

but she did she does admit and it's

later confirmed

of performing a sexual act with a rabbit

yes

um but here she says do you remember

where you were the first time i saw you

[Music]

on the bridge

and what were you doing i was

looking at the boats

what looking at the boats i was looking

what were you doing were you

going to jump

yes

and how many men had you had that day

three how many four

[Music]

and it just kept

coming over and then i

went professional and

can't say yes yes you can say it

tell me about

bunny no james not bunny yes

bunny tell me about it

that's the part that makes me feel like

he was fabricating this stuff like the

fact that

like he was putting it on her that her

standing on the bridge was her

attempting suicide where she was just

like i was just looking at the boats

no you were attempting suicide like oh i

was attempting suicide you know like and

then he says what did you do earlier

that day and she said i had sex and he

said who did you have sex with

yeah she's like he's like a man he's

like just one man and she's like three

men

three men four men like she keeps like

adding to the story

yeah it just doesn't feel like it's her

own it feels like i don't know if it's

supposed to be him pushing for truth or

her

admitting to the full story because we

never

make that clear although she did have

sex with a rabbit so

that part is true dennis tries to talk

to his mom about taking on a divorce

attorney

because uh he knows that she could

lose everything if she doesn't um he

decides that he's going to

wear blackface and get photos of his dad

uh cheating because he knows that if

they have evidence

then it's more of an open shut case is

he and i

at first i thought he was just using

dark makeup

to blend in with like a knight

yeah i think that's actually what it was

for but then it's later confused

for him being yeah no i think he is

doing blackface though because he said

he

in another scene he said he was getting

really into it and he had a box that

said like

afro wig or something like that and he's

like i'm really getting it it's true

yeah i don't know i don't know what's

going on here but anyway he's in

blackface and he's up on a tree

getting photos of his dad uh [ __ ] a

nurse against the window of a building

with the lights on

like they're not in a bit like they're

in a hospital where there's a bed in

every room

yeah and they're having sex against the

wall where you can see them from the

window

but they're literally her back is like

against the window so now he can't even

get pictures of it well he gets

other pictures of them like grappling

together and

but it's not enough i guess yeah

apparently i don't know why what they

get eventually isn't

is enough because even that i would say

is probably not enough

if what if this isn't but while he's up

in this tree he also notices that

there's uh

there's a girl in another window across

the street and so he decides he's gonna

start watching her because he can't get

good pictures of his father

and we get a title on the screen

diagnosis in the field and suddenly the

maestro is there and he turns on a bunch

of

work lights um to light up

the kid in the tree and he says oh look

at that second girl in the window

and then they cut to this footage of

this girl in her apartment and he points

out that's just footage of a girl in an

apartment that's not a real person that

you're looking at

it's like i don't know why we're

suddenly getting meta with this and

acknowledging that we're watching a

movie happen

um well there are a couple of shots

where you realize that this is

a projection inside this window right

and

and he says that the police use it to

catch peeping toms

or but or is he implying that he uses it

to catch peeping toms

yeah because he says i've been watching

you up here for a week now

and that's how long he's been trying to

get this these pictures of his dad

apparently yeah i think he said he's

been up there for three weeks three

weeks he comes every thursday for three

weeks

yeah very weird very but eventually

uh the maestro pushes him out of the

tree but like doesn't he offer to

but this is the moment where he offers

to train him to be an actor

yeah well he the whole time he's trying

to get him to be like he's like you're

just observing people you need to be

taking more of a part in your own life

yeah but he like gives him his car and

he's like you need to come see me

yeah and he implies that he's going to

inform the police

if he doesn't right dennis and christina

talk

in the kitchen at home about um

dennis is considering signing up for his

brother's spartanetics class

we cut to the class that's going on and

uh

james is like singing and leading the

campers

to like the end of a hike where

christina has set up a very lovely

picnic with all organic foods because

she thought that's what

james wanted and then he just shits all

over everything and yells at her for

bringing food

and says that she's undone so much of

their programming by bringing them

something that they didn't have to

catch and prepare themselves and uh

he's like picking things up and shouting

aluminum enclosed potato chips

back to nature carrot bars go

throws them like shakes the food out

onto the floor

um or the what do you call the floor

outside

the ground

um we ran out of carpet so we just

painted the dirt

does anybody else smell toast we don't

care how much

um dennis

tries to comfort her and decides he's

going to take her out to lunch for some

fast food because she needs it

and they flirt a little bit she talks

about how she's she's interested in

younger men

and then he's like oh yeah really and

she's like well yeah and he said well

what about uh

what about james you know he's like five

years older than you she's like i'm

interested in older men too

i'm interested in lots of different

kinds of men like lending a little bit

of credence to the

three or four guys story and uh

when she gets home james refuses to

apologize for having thrown her picnic

all over the floor

and then tells her that he can smell the

food on her

then we get this excessively long scene

of

him sniffing all over the room until he

comes

back to sniff her it's like a couple

minutes of just sniffing

i just want to say i think you're doing

it

do you smell something

yeah i my comment of this is whatever

yeah like i was like they have a scene

together

whatever then i i don't even know what

to say half the things in this movie

yeah like i can't comment on what's

happening

but uh at the at the previous dinner

they decided they were gonna have an

engagement brunch

and he tells her that if she can't start

resisting these urges that she's having

for example the fast food urge that he's

gonna have his mom cancel the engagement

brunch

because he wants to have complete

control over her life and complete

control over any weaknesses she may have

for anything

smoking drinking men she immediately

after

he tells her that uh he's he's gonna

judge her and he's gonna cancel this

party if she doesn't comply

she gets a call from bunny and she

resists

bunny in this call she says that she's

not interested and she's not gonna

partake

oh i didn't know who was on the phone

that scene was weird

it's a weird scene but um now we get a

title that says treatment

and uh well so the bunny scene though

she's

she's talking to somebody from like her

former life on the phone

yes who's trying to tempt her back into

her former life and then yeah

we follow once again an excessively long

shot of the phone cord across the room

to realize that the phone's not even

plugged in and i'm like that phone cord

and he

you know just could have been much

shorter to get to that but i did not

realize

that that was supposed to be the rabbit

supposed to be the rabbit yes

okay that makes more sense maestro shows

up and he says he's gonna talk dennis

into performing properly

he reminds him to not be an extra in his

own life and

dennis starts the star therapy which

involves recording everything he does

which is known now as having a

smartphone

and recording yourself consoles now it's

called technology

[Laughter]

but uh he's just like literally sitting

in bed with a bunch of lights pointed at

him

talking to the camera about what

happened to him in the last five minutes

then we get title number four

reviewing the patient's progress and uh

kirk

and dennis are sitting watching his

dailies the dailies of his actual life

and uh he falls asleep during it because

it's so boring

and uh the maestro is like criticizing

him look at this you're you're falling

asleep watching your own life happen in

front of you that's how boring your life

is you're falling asleep watching it

he asks how the movie's gonna pay for

itself like what have you spent so far

like what is the budget on this thing

like how is your life gonna pay for

itself

he he tells him for no reason that he

has three days to get more interesting

sweetheart lover boy baby you've got

three

days to come up with good rushes and his

new plan is to observe christina

to see if she can resist all of james's

temptations

and then we get this clip of like a tape

of the plan and it says this table now

self-destruct

this tape will self-destruct now

i got it i got it i got it i got it and

it explodes

it's like a mission impossible joke

which is weird because brian de palma

ended up directing the first mission

impossible movie but

i don't i don't know who what this tape

is of

and who's listening to it and why it

explodes uh it's his

um it's his students so james made the

tape for his students because his

students are like his minions in this

plan

okay to like watch her fail at

any of these things these tests that

he's putting her in okay that's what i

missed then because we're only

seeing from behind over their shoulders

and i didn't realize it was them

but uh the first thing she's supposed to

resist is junk food even though that's

not first on the list

yeah but the first thing we see her

resisting is junk food they have a

camera stuffed into a bag of popcorn

and she's like making ice cream or

something yeah for some reason she's

suddenly working

at a fast food restaurant just for a day

and she's managing not to eat any of the

customers ice cream before giving it to

them so they call that

a successful resisting of junk food it

was french fries but yeah oh french

fries

i couldn't remember what it was i saw

her holding a cup and she's like taking

something off the top

she's awkwardly placing the french fries

one by one with her hands

and not eating them that's good job

dennis spies on her through the keyhole

to her room

and she's listening to a tape uh

presumably another tape from james about

resisting

cheap sex and again the tape

self-destructs which is a hilarious

callback to earlier when a tape

self-destructed right

christina goes to a biker party and

lures

a guy upstairs to have sex with and then

at the very last second

says i'm very aroused i'm gonna go home

now

i'm very aroused oh i'm aroused too can

she

i don't know can she i want you to take

me

i want to take you but no

no could you get up a minute what

you see this is really only a test

i was just seeing if i could i could

resist you

what baby hey what the hell you really

have to go now

and he says why and he says i just

wanted to see how aroused i could get

and still turn around and leave

and the biker's like uh yeah that's not

gonna happen but dennis

is up in a tree watching this happen

because he's trying to see

in blackface again right to see how much

of james's program she can resist

and so he goes in to save her james is

going over his notes and

he crosses off that she has passed all

the tests smoking drinking

drugs junk food and sex

um the engagement party is officially on

and james

writes up letters that are invites to

like a campsite for some exercise that

they're gonna do

but one of the invitations to the

campsite blows

up the stairwell into a bedroom and

lands on

christina's pillow right which james had

said if she passes

all of her tests there would be

something for her at the end so i think

she's assuming that this

is for her yes a cop beats up dennis

outside

because he thought he was a black person

and there shouldn't be black people in

this neighborhood

apparently but somehow he convinces him

that he's a reporter

yeah he says no no i'm undercover he

convinces them that he's a reporter

because when he tries to grab him he

tries to yank him by the hair and he

pulls the wig off

he's like oh my gosh you are in disguise

we cut to

all the campers out in the middle of the

woods they're role-playing as couples so

half of them are men and half of them

are women

and james is instructing them how to

kiss each other just to be clear all of

his students are men

yes and he's instructed the men some of

them

to be women to be the women right and

he's telling the men

that you don't turn your head for the

woman

when you're moving in for a kiss that

you just

lean in and crush her nose if she

doesn't turn her head to bow to your

whim

which is actually a solid tip yeah this

movie is really friendly to women

i mean obviously the the movie doesn't

seem to be on james's side i think it's

supposed to be that he's an

obnoxious character but still it's dumb

dennis

now has to pretend with this cop that

he's doing a report on exploitation

against minorities

um so that the cop won't attack him and

now the cop is like suddenly on the case

with him to get footage of his dad

cheating

and so the two of them go up the stairs

into the hospital

and bust in on his dad having sex with

the nurse

who he claims is a minority because

she's an eskimo

and the cops like oh yeah that makes

perfect sense anyway my name's quinn so

make sure when you

turn in this and he keeps calling him

chief like yeah like the kid is somehow

his boss

all of a sudden but yeah so now that he

has footage of his dad and the nurse

in the room but again they weren't

actually having sex they were just

leaning against the table when they

walked in and he said oh we were just

getting started

he admits right there on the footage

that they weren't having sex

so who knows what's going on christina

finds the letter on her pillow

inviting her to james's camp and thinks

it's for her

we cut back to the woods where james is

telling them that he basically only

needs a wife to procreate he wishes he

didn't have to that he could just put a

seat in the ground

and grow children see i thought here we

were gonna like find out that he was

actually like homosexual and then some

of this stuff was just

you know he was just women hating

because he was hating himself or liking

men but none of that

that might even be an implication of

this scene that he takes all these guys

out of the woods and has to make out

with each other because he's gay

right that would have made sense but

they certainly didn't make that clear if

that was the case

either way when she's getting to the

camp it's right when he's teaching the

men how to mount each other

and so she thinks that he's gay anyway

because she walks up right as he's

standing up behind another guy in the

middle of the woods and she runs home

crying

bizarre scene where dennis comes home

with the footage of his dad having sex

with the nurse

and his grandmother is sitting at a

chair at the bottom of the stairs

because she wants to film

the fiance walking down the stairs in

the morning

right and she has staked her claim on

this chair and she's going to sleep in

this chair all night to get footage

of her coming down these stairs in the

morning and she says oh but i don't have

any film do you have any film for me

and he says yeah there's a bunch of film

in this bag from this bag of evidence

film that i just got

just grab anything you want yeah and i'm

gonna go upstairs

it's supposed to be like oh no that's

the evidence bag

and the guy's not even thinking about it

it just doesn't make any sense that this

character would have thought of it well

plus that's not how film works like

you can't just

and the footage when you take it out of

the camera you put it away differently

yeah and later on when we see the

footage coming back

the scene of the father is later when it

should have been earlier yeah it's at

the end of the tape like he didn't

he recorded it right at the end of the

real seminar and then put it all back

but anyway so uh grandma thinks that

he's trying to

cheat her out of this amazing placement

to record the stairs all night

but she's not giving it up so she stays

there and uh

dennis goes up to the room christina

comes in crying

and uh she goes up to the bedroom where

she found the invitation to the woods

and starts talking to bunny nobody i

can't go back to that life i've

i've changed changed changed from what

you're the same [ __ ] you always will

know you get those clothes off and let's

rehearse

christina get those clothes

bunny is like a split personality of her

she's puppeting this

stuffed bunny rabbit and she's talking

to it and it's talking to her and

telling her that they're gonna have sex

now and it tries to take off her clothes

and then dennis comes in to console her

and the two of them start kissing

the next morning people are arriving for

the engagement party

and christina takes all of her all of

their mother's sleeping pills

that were on the counter like a whole

fistful of sleeping pills

and sort of wanders out of the house

with the rabbit on her hand

and as she's coming down the stairs

grandma gets some footage of her

arguing with the mother being very crude

and throwing glossies of her like nude

photographs

into the crowd of people as they're

coming into the house

and the rabbit is talking a lot as well

yes the rabbit is doing the talking for

her right now

and james walks in right as this is

happening

and uh his mother is like what what is

going on who is

why is this woman being this way who is

this woman and he says that she's a

[ __ ]

and then they decide that they're gonna

chase her

but dennis notices pills on the floor in

the bedroom so he decides to chase her

out of the house because he knows it's a

medical emergency

and then james says oh and a car thief

apparently because she's getting into

his car and driving it away

right but somehow dennis gets all the

way downstairs and into the car

faster than james can get there and so

the two of them drive off and then james

and his mother drive off in a second car

to follow them

the rabbit is shouting things in the car

until

christina throws it off on the side of

the road and it hits a tree

uh i guess the only thing because again

this movie was so manic the only part

that kind of made me chuckle a little

bit was

when the mom and james are in the car

and mom goes james that rabbit implied

that they had sexual relations

i did not like his use of language i'm

not unfamiliar with that

i was like i needed something i needed

something to cling to

i also got i i was a little amused that

they had the rabbit make a sound when it

hit the tree

when the car was clearly gone like yeah

this rabbit is making these sounds on

its own it's not her doing it

so they're driving and dennis basically

drives her

all the way to his dad's office despite

not trusting his dad not to rape her

unconscious body

right is he the only doctor in this

hospital like why wouldn't he take her

to literally any other hospital in the

world

well this doctor is clearly not an er

doctor this girl just took a bunch of

sleepy pills

take her to the er yeah well it was an

emergency room

but he he brings her up the stairs and

he brings her into

his dad's office and then his dad's like

i'm going to have to pump her stomach

you got to get out of here

and he like shoves him out the door and

he's like well i'm going to watch from

the tree outside because i want to make

sure you don't rape this woman yeah even

though he's already been present for a

stomach pumping of his mother

earlier in the film and we haven't seen

him like rape anyone that wasn't

consenting to it i mean he just because

he cheats with a

nurse at his work doesn't mean he's

literally raping unconscious patients

but for some reason he drags her

completely out of the hospital

and out the front door right on the way

to treating her

dennis is watching from the tree but he

falls out of it

and hurts himself and then um

the dad is walking with christina

through the door and when james sees

them together and says

oh it wasn't dennis that she was

cheating with it was dad

i'm gonna kill dad like does he get the

gun off the police officer

i don't know where the gun came from but

he he does there is a cop there so that

would make sense

there's a cop arguing with them because

they parked in the wrong spot or

something

so maybe he gets the cops gun and he

tries to level it at his dad

and then christina runs away and he

starts to point the gun at her as she's

running away but she gets hit by an

ambulance

and he he pulls the trigger but it

doesn't fire right that's right

it jams yeah and then we cut to

the the mother is with dennis in the

hospital

and she says oh you're going to love

college it's like am i going to college

i'm in the hospital with a concussion

and fell out of a tree

the family leaves him in grand central

station and

he sits down on a suitcase where

apparently he sat for six days

or seven days or however long they took

those pictures for

and we cut back to uh the maestro

lamenting dennis's plunge to extradome

in his own life back at their house the

family is watching the footage that

grandma took

of the staircase weirdness not clear why

they would watch this footage at all

yeah considering how poorly the morning

went but all of them are watching it

together and it ends with

the sex in the doctor's office well see

i thought all this was building up to

chris they're memorializing christina

like i thought they were watching the

footage because this was the last

footage they have of christina

before she's like they were having like

a little home funeral for her yeah but

uh but then

it turns out christina yeah

she uh she's at grand central station

and she notices dennis

and he's like oh i thought you were dead

i mean none of us checked on you after

the accident no one even walked over

she's like well no i got hit by an

ambulance

and we were 20 feet from a hospital so

i'm fine

and he's like oh we just assumed you

died and went home like what

how's your brother's fiance nobody like

checked the body to see if

it was dead i i had to re i think i

rewound this

whole like 10 minutes of events like

three times

yeah because as i'm missing something

like

they're in the hospital he falls out of

a tree there's a gun i was like what

is i i i must be looking away and i

don't realize that i've looked

away from the film but no it's all just

a big mess

well the weirder thing to me is that the

obvious ending here is like oh we're

just gonna go off on our own separate

way and like make a new life for

ourselves but instead

she says where are you going and he says

well i'm going to college and she's like

i'm going to go to college too like

that's how it works

i got a plus one on my college tuition

so this is great

i'll just bring you to all my classes um

called auditing

right but uh then a little girl finds

the rabbit in the woods and presumably

takes it home to [ __ ]

i guess well because the rabbit is

actually yeah

a sentient being it's basically the end

of uh don't go to the house

don't go in the house where we're seeing

the next person who's taken over by this

evil spirit

um but yeah that's the end of the movie

and it's terrible

i i'm sorry that we've spent so much

time on this movie

yeah it's directed by brian de palma

which there's really no

question yeah like maybe directed by a

bride

i mean the thing is that it was directed

by brian de palma but it was edited by

the class

so maybe they were like oh circle takes

must mean bad

let's not use any of these but the

lighting is terrible the whole

time like i feel like there were

students involved in every aspect of

this film i must have been

um with the exception of the acting

which is all like name actors for some

reason

but brian diploma yeah well actors that

i certainly know

yeah things yeah um but brian de palma

obviously did dress to kill later this

year he'll do scarface and he did

phantom of the paradise untouchables

carrie mission impossible get to know

your rabbit

a little relevant to this film and uh

predator

he has a movie coming out called

predator no i'm i'm curious about get to

know your rabbit now

that's the one about the magician with

uh

with uh one of the smothers brothers

where he's

i don't know i've talked about it before

on this i don't know anything about it i

don't listen to this podcast

that's true nobody does yet um but he

has a movie coming out called predator

where i was like is bryan de palma doing

a predator sequel but it's

it's literally a movie about like

weinstein oh

it's i think it's a fictionalized

account but it's about a movie mogul who

is like a sexual predator

this was written by a bunch of people

but only two of them have significant

credits

charlie leventhal was uh the director of

a movie called the first time in 83

my demon lover in 87 and then a movie

called mr right with paul reiser in 94

that i distinctly remember we had in our

blockbuster yeah

i didn't know that movie but it's spelt

w-r-i-t yeah

yeah didn't have ellen degeneres i was

going to say that's a different movie i

think

yeah oh with ellen degeneres am i

thinking of a different movie

but it's also called mr right okay i i

thought that was

mr wrong oh maybe it is no mr wrong is

with anna kendrick and sam rockwell

no that's i thought well i think that is

also mr wrong uh

no this is a really two movies called mr

rob well mr wrong is with ellen

degeneres directed by nick castle

ellen degeneres and bill pullman nick

castle directed that yeah

what

and then he did like the last

starfighter

this crappy romantic comedy with ellen

degeneres

okay i'm trying to figure out what the

sam rockwell and kendrick movie was

it's either mr wright or mr wrong with

the red nose

mr wright mr wright okay but how is that

spelled uh r-i-g-h-d

okay but mr wright with paul ryser

reiser it's w-r-i-t-e

right which i'm guessing he's a writer

in that movie a paul writer

get it because it's something nancy

okay sorry the other writer that has

some credits gloria norris

she did research on raging bull later

this year and she was an assistant to

woody allen on stardust memories also

this year

and midsummer night sex comedy and zelig

is she related

gloria norris no related to who never

mind

i was looking at the wrong name i was

looking at nancy allen oh yeah no nancy

allen is

i was like are she wearing anybody else

no all right nancy i'll know

nancy allen plays christina the

girlfriend or fiance here and she was

anne lewis and robocop yeah

she's great um she's liz blake and

dressed to kill

um she's chris harginson and carrie and

she's sally and blowout so she has three

at least three uh brand diploma credits

but probably more

and she's great and she's in 1941 yes um

kirk douglas was

dr tuttle apparently the maestro

um he was in saturn three that's

basically the only thing he's done

other than this no he was spartacus 20

000 leagues we've covered it

uh vincent i know i know that we've

covered it but i mean

yeah assuming that you people one

haven't listened to another podcast

where we covered the one other kirk

douglas movie

but also you should know who yeah you

should know in general he just turned

like 140.

um he'll probably be dead by the time

his posts so that won't make any sense

to you guys but

uh vincent gardenia was dr byrd he

played mushnik

in little shop of horrors yeah he was

frank ochoa and death wish

he was cher's dad in moon's truck cosmo

castarini

which earned him an oscar nomination

right why i really didn't like that

movie man

it's terrible and he's also joe pesci's

dad in the super

joe she plays louie and he plays big

louise yeah i can possibly forget about

that

um keith gordon is dennis byrd he's a

director for a lot of tv now dexter

better call saul

fargo homeland he directed the singing

detective with robert downey jr which is

pretty oh yeah i like that movie a lot i

did not see that on the list where is

that

there it is oh my goodness i totally

missed it for me he will always be jason

mellon

from back to school the son of rodney

dangerfield and uh he's also arnie

cunningham and christine

peter miller and dressed to kill the sun

and dress to kill

and uh doug in jaws 2. garrett graham

was james bird

he's the voice of guardian on gargoyles

yeah uh i

did not realize how many things i know

this guy from garrett graham yeah

i just had the two i have the gargoyles

one and then he's frank sherman who is

jay's dad on the critic

who my wife elena uh he's

he's great as jay's dad the guardian

is a is a minor well not a minor

character but he's only in like four

episodes yeah um

he he's an interesting character though

he was in a three-parter right

uh yeah uh and uh and then one other

like side episode

um there's like i was like just looking

through these credits of things that he

is in i was like oh my goodness this

guy's in everything that i love

he's in a couple of bunch of episodes of

bruno the kid um which is the

the movie yeah it's a bruce willis

animated series

wait that is the series based on the

movie the kid no

okay no the movie is about

um bruno the kid is a child genius

who joins a spy agency isn't there a

movie called the kid with bruce willis

yes where the kid's name is bruno i

don't remember

no bruno is is what bruce willis goes by

in his musical career

oh okay uh anyway i think that's why

bruno the kid was called that

yeah um but he's also on a really great

star trek voyager episode which i really

liked where he plays a member of the

q continuum who's on

trial on board voyager uh because he

wishes to have assisted suicide

okay and the queue continuum does not

want that and john de lancie

uh plays the famous q q yeah um who is

like i didn't realize there were

episodes that delved into like his race

or

oh yeah and it's so cool because they

actually go to the q continuum

that's awesome and and it's just like

this like desert

like old uh route 66 kind of like

desert abandoned diner where people are

just sitting around

and he's and like because the whole the

whole description is like this is

this is just how you are perceiving it

yeah and of course the way you would

perceive it would be the exact

opposite of what anyone would expect the

hugh continued right right you'd

expect like the fortress of solitude

with crystals and [ __ ] everything yeah

yeah

uh and but no one talks to him and q

describes no one ever talks because

everything that they've ever needed to

say has been said

right everybody knows everything already

yeah uh so it's a really great episode

of voyager

uh and uh oh my actually i just gotta

look up one thing

sorry i'm wondering if jonathan fraser

directed that episode because he's star

isn't it

jonathan freaks he likes like no i know

him

no he did not direct that episode but he

does appear in it um he likes our dog

he's nice guy yeah everybody likes our

dog though

that's true to be clear

jonathan franks is the nice guy our dog

is a nice girl

who is judy in this movie i have no idea

i looked up i was looking through the

credits and i was like i don't know who

someone is named judy on this movie but

i don't remember theresa saldana being

in this movie

was it uh the person he was fooling

around with in the opening scene when

the dad walks out

and goes to the office oh it must have

been then but that was theresa saldana

who we had in defiance and will have

again in raging bull and she got stabbed

a bunch

if you'll recall but she was okay she

was okay for a while she died

very recently like in the last year or a

few years

robert mickels played andrew don't know

who that was

he was a clan member and porky's two who

was the stripper in this movie i'm

trying to remember a scene where someone

strips

does anyone strip in this movie oh the

nurse is

naked i don't think we call her a

stripper though someone is credited as

stripper in this movie but i don't

remember anyone stripping

but she also played a stripper in one of

my favorite tales from the crypt

episodes

which is called the ventriloquists dummy

have you seen that one

uh i may have it's bobcat goldthwait is

like a ventriloquist and he's learning

from the master who is played by don

rickles

and it's directed by richard donner it's

a really amazing oh wow

yeah kind of tales from the crypt it's

good bunny apparently played himself

oh what the hell that means but yeah

that's it for this movie

it's dumb it's bad it's not a movie it's

not a movie

and i regret including it here i don't

know how it made forty thousand dollars

which is only ten percent of its budget

well if everybody who's in the film

class that made it made their families

go and watch it yeah are they counting

the tuition in the box office

but yeah i regret watching it and uh i'm

gonna go ahead and say

down on this one don't waste your time

with it yes yeah

i agree down down it's really not a

statement about the movie at all

or the people that made it i guess it's

not a statement about them but this is

at the bottom of my letterboxed

oh okay i would rather watch

suzanne summers rebuild the glass

ceiling

than watch these bad dailies

like shots i can't even tell what's

happening yeah

it's just like shot so poorly and i

can't follow the plot because the

characters are all acting in completely

different ways

it's just bad just don't watch it i'm

gonna put it ever so slightly higher

it's gonna be

third from the bottom because man corp

was an

obnoxious movie i would rather watch

corp again than watch this i don't ever

want to hear those guys screaming

another scene again all right um

this is also uh i guess this is going to

become

fourth from my bottom just above gorp

you guys loved this movie no i just

hated corp a lot

yeah i i the movies that are below it

are

gorp cereal and then caligula oh really

nothing personal is above this

are you yeah i have nothing personal so

do i but a little bit higher but

cereal was upsetting but uh but gorp was

terrible

and yeah this is it's down there it's

down there

so cereal is second from the bottom on

yours yeah okay i think that's about

everything for this one

if you guys have any thoughts you'd like

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year

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vintage video podcast thank you so much

for listening and i hope you'll join us

next time

when we will be discussing humanoids of

the deep

oh which imdb summarizes thusly

scientific experiments backfire and

produce horrific mutations

half man half fish which terrorize a

small

fishing village by killing the men and

raping the women

now you're talking we leave you now with

the trailer

for humanoids of the deep

they're coming humanoids from the deep

a tidal wave of rampaging creatures

surges from the dark and violent sea to

conquer the earth

may be intelligent enough to perceive

man as a competitor

why the girls it's my theory that these

creatures are driven to mate with man

now

in order to further develop their

incredible evolution it's enough to

scare the hell out of me

soon the world will awake to a

terrifying riptide of humanoids from the

deep

we think we know where these things come

from but we have no idea

how many there are

the earth crashes into a battle for the

survival of the fittest

where man is the endangered species

and woman the ultimate prize

[Music]

anywhere you run any place you hide

anytime you stop

they

[Music]

humanoids from the deep

you