we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

looks like i picked the wrong way to

quit sniffing blue light

of my life we enjoy your films

[Music]

welcome to vintage video where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time

i'm patrick o'reilly i'm jesse bayless

and i'm richard wells and today marks

the 40th anniversary of the release of

the long riders on may 16

1980 it was written by bill brydon

steven phillip smith

stacy and james keach directed by walter

hill

and released by united artists in 1971

james and stacy keach starred together

as the wright brothers for a tv movie

and first considered playing brothers

jesse and frank james

james wrote a play which stacy financed

and produced

it opened at bucks county playhouse and

then toured schools in new jersey

it was later adapted into a country

musical off-broadway

before james and stacey decided to adapt

it again into a feature film

so the in the play they were playing the

brothers as well

i am not clear on that part i just know

that they wrote it but um i would assume

that they did play the parts

james was working with robert carradine

on an adaptation of the hatfields and

mccoys

and robert shared the idea with his

brother david who was down to do it

keith was the tough sell but he couldn't

rightly refuse if all the other brothers

were in so the

keaches were the james's and the

carradines were the youngers

shortly after the quaids were attached

as the miller brothers

at this point nbc agreed to finance the

long riders as a six-part mini-series

but then fred silverman took over nbc

and as is the custom cancelled

everything in development ordered by his

predecessors

because that's what you have to do uh

james keach was working with tim

zinniman

on the 79 film the hurricane and

cinnamon was intrigued enough to bring

the pitch to united artists

who wanted a name director attached

before they would greenlight it zinaman

shared the script with walter hill whose

first post-warriors project had just

fallen through hill had always wanted to

direct a western

and immediately agreed to do it for a

while beau and jeff bridges were going

to play the ford brothers but the

shifting production schedule ruled them

out as a possibility that would have

been pretty cool

that would've been great i i like the

guests too though

they were guest stars they were guests

yeah i

expected their names to be in the in the

beginning of the film when they were

going through all the brothers names and

the opening credits but

um for whatever reason they didn't make

the cut there were they not famous

enough at the time

well i would say the the only argument i

can think of is that they didn't play a

big enough part in the story because

they're just in a like a couple scenes

here and there and they don't say much

but

like they're important characters dennis

quaid is kind of only in a couple scenes

too right

right but only he'd only been in gorp

that's true jeff has said that the

script and the brothers gimmick alone

weren't enough

for him to fight to stay in the cast as

far as the production schedule went

but that walter hill brought something

special that the script lacked

and he now believes he missed out on a

lot of fun as the brothers were all

friends of his

timothy bottoms was interested but he

had asked that him and his brothers sam

and joseph play the youngers

which the parts were already reserved

for the carradines

that didn't happen the bottoms is

dropped out

the carradines and quiches both made

concessions with regard to pay to keep

the film under budget

uh david carradine hinted at a prequel

once in development to take place during

the civil war

and stacy keach had once mentioned a

possible sequel following the surviving

characters

through more of their real life

adventures but neither project ever came

to fruition

a third keach kailyn james keich's son

plays the son of his character in this

film john carradine

the father of david and robert

and keith has played robert ford twice

on film

and apparently shot scenes for this that

didn't make it into the final cut

i i was specifically looking for him

yeah in the film until i started doing

my research i was like oh scene's cut

yeah that's a bummer because it's like

there's no way they wouldn't get

their dad to be in this movie but i

wonder would he have played the dad

of those characters um i don't know i

mean he could play anyone

i mean they had other western other

famous western

people in it yeah and other famous

western like children

right of like famous like because hair

carried juniors in this right

harry kerry senior was famous for his

parts and westerns but

yeah so i mean i could i could imagine

him in any role

um i just like to see david carradino

yep we start the film with the three

sets of brothers the james's the

youngers and the millers riding into

town

this is missouri after the civil war the

james's and millers are

in the bank collecting money while

outside the youngers are just firing

guns in the air to drive people away

from the bank

ed miller demands that the banker open

the safe even though

jesse prepped them before this robbery

that there's nothing in the safe because

there's

that's not how they keep the money at

this bank and he puts the gun to the

banker's head and says if you don't open

that safe i'm gonna blow your brains out

you got a safe in here someplace now you

tell me where it is or i'm gonna put a

bullet in your brain pan

honest mister get out there

eventually shots are traded because of

ed stalling and screwing things up

and jesse takes one in the shoulder um

on his way out of the bank ed

shoots the banker that he was

threatening to kill um all the brothers

head off to

a nearby lake where jesse starts to beat

up ed for screwing up the whole bank job

i mean they still got the money but yeah

he messed everything up and almost got

him killed yeah

no one was both no one innocent was

supposed to right get killed

they're they're fine defending

themselves i guess like that's how they

justify it like

even though they're committing the crime

and the other people would be trying to

stop them

right but this banker didn't even have a

gun on them right exactly

there's a code yeah so they basically

kick ed out of the gang

he looks to his brother cl played by

randy quaid because

if we hadn't said it already uh dennis

quaid and randy quaid together are

playing the miller brothers

and he looks to clell played by randy

and says

oh come on like aren't you going to

stand up for me and he's like no you

screwed this up and

i'm you're my family but you're an idiot

and i'm totally cool with kicking you

out of this gang

so they've abandoned him there basically

but he still gets his portion of the

money because they got the money so they

just throw it up in the air and make

them dig it out of the dirt

they head to uh the local like gambling

parlor i guess

yeah i i couldn't figure out what this

place was supposed to be because they

keep coming back

to like some of the same locations and

this was a place that they frequented

yeah

um and i i just put it is it a club yeah

because it doesn't seem to be a

restaurant

although it's it's just like a parlor

it's a bar

and a gambling den and upstairs is is

the whorehouse

yeah um like every building before 1860

the boys are gambling when the band

starts to play a

a union friendly song yeah battle cry of

freedom

yeah and clel gets pretty upset about it

and he goes to the musicians and he says

oh those are pretty hands you play that

really well i bet you'd hate it if

someone just smashed all the bones in

your fingers until you died

and he says look somebody requested it

i'm i'm basically just a sentient juice

juice box i'm just a sentient jukebox it

just spits juice all over her

kalel's just covered in motts

[Laughter]

no um he says i'm basically just a

sentient jukebox

and uh and he says okay well here's some

money play i'm a good old rebel

and so they jump right into that um bell

a local prostitute approaches cole who

it seems to be a

a repeat customer of hers he asks if her

price is still 15

are you still asking 15 dollars

i sure am she says she'll take 12 and a

half

because she feels sorry for him but he

only has 11.

they uh they do a little gambling move

here to see if he can

still participate for 11 dollars but he

loses the hand

yeah they're essentially playing a

single hand of war yeah

they cut a deck and whatever card you're

revealing is your card for war

and uh she beats him clel flirts with a

different prostitute

that's basically the end of this scene

we cut to some house out in the middle

of

the woods jesse is walking with z along

a road

and basically proposes to her in so many

words yeah

seems you proposed to me during the war

about seven years ago

that was different except

uh i always knew that

you were the one i just didn't have

nothing worked out that's all

that's a mouthful mr jesse james

well it's a mouthful of truth now what

you got to decide is if you want to get

on the horse with me

but uh he's he also makes the point that

he doesn't intend to change who he is

and he wants to go on robbing banks and

making his

living this way but she wants a big

to-do wedding then

right she's like we're gonna have a big

fancy wedding but i'm marrying you for

who you are so i would like you to

continue robbing banks and risking your

life constantly yes

jim younger played by keith carradine

pokes fun at

a girl beth who would like to settle

down with him but he's like

oh that's funny you're a child and i'm a

big bank robber and

that's not going to happen even though

he clearly

wants to yeah they're both very clearly

interested in each other but he's not

ready to settle down

or he is like playing the long game

thinking that she'll never

yeah she'll just wait yeah she'll wait

um so he's just pushing her on a swing

here but

he doesn't he doesn't have any wedding

intentions it's his metaphor for the

whole relationship he pushes her away

and she comes swinging back

yeah oh my god um

the next day on a stagecoach the same

gym is flirting with a married woman

and her husband gets a little upset

about it mm-hmm

but then suddenly bob and cole and jesse

and claire are all in the road

robbing the stagecoach and the coach

driver's like damn you son of a [ __ ]

you're in a with him

like he's like so excited about it it's

it's like

the stagecoach driver is like almost on

their team immediately

like he's just like excited about it

because he knows who these people are

yeah

uh it reminds me a lot of the movie uh

university bandits

with bruce willis and blade bob thornton

i don't know if i have i know the one

you're talking about they rob a bank at

the very beginning of the movie right

right

well they rob banks throughout the movie

uh but people like

really become like affectionate to them

okay

start getting excited at the prospect of

being robbed by them yeah bob younger

notices that the

coach driver george is a veteran of the

confederacy and compliments him

they ask him like who he served under

and he answers the question and vernon

the the angry husband lies that he also

served under the same general in a

different

place because he's clearly was a union

soldier if he was ever a soldier

and george like calls him out on it

right away like the coach driver is like

oh you're a liar you should kill this

guy it's just like how awkward was the

rest of that ride

after they left but george knows who's

robbing them

and they they go well you know he's he's

not he doesn't have a gun on us

so he's not a threat so we're just gonna

take all this [ __ ] so they strip him

clean

and leave and the coach driver is like

i'll be goddamn go to hell he knows that

was jesse james and his boys and that's

just something to write home about for

him and then he goes back to the

stagecoach with the guy who he said you

should kill this guy and he has to drive

that guy the rest of the way

to where he was going cole the david

carradine character

takes the winnings from this stagecoach

robbery back to bell

because now he has enough she's

basically proposing to him

she keeps talking about like would you

be interested in settling down is this

something that we're going to be doing

at some point

i just want to be respectable just want

to find out what it feels like to be

respectable

for a while anyway

you'll never be respectable bill

you're a [ __ ] you'll always be a [ __ ]

yeah he's he's very uh he's very abrupt

with her yeah

the james's youngers and millers all

attend

the it's basically a reception for jesse

and z's wedding

and they all take a picture together uh

jim goes to talk to beth again but

learns that she is engaged and what's

worse she's engaged to ed miller

yeah the dennis quaid character who's

just a dick and an idiot

and although we don't really see it like

months are going by

right because he says just a few months

ago i was pushing you in a swing yeah

like it's like

oh i thought this was like a week later

at the most yeah

yeah they do compound the time very

quickly they are approached by the ford

brothers

played by nicholas and christopher guest

um nicholas right yeah yeah they

basically say

oh we heard you're looking for some men

we're interested in joining up and he's

like well who told you that he's like

your brother

the one you just kicked out but they

basically get shooed away like

no that's not happening right now we

don't have anything on the books yet

outside bell pulls up in a carriage

and uh asks cole why she wasn't invited

to the reception

and he just says because you're a [ __ ]

walks back into the party and she leaves

yep

um she's very you can tell she's like

gritting her teeth like pissed off about

it as she's leaving

the gang robs a train there there's no

uh unnecessary victims here they just

it's very perfunctory yeah

um although i thought something was

going to come back later

uh when uh uh robert carradine

gets up to the engineer and he's like

you're part of jesse james's crew he's

like no

we're the youngers but jesse james rides

with the youngest yeah

he rides with us not the other way

around um and i thought oh i wonder if

this is going to start to

whose name is at the top of the wanted

poster yeah yeah yeah but they

never comes up yeah everything goes

pretty smoothly nobody gets hurt they

get all the money that they wanted out

of

safe on the train i think frank stands

up and says

don't worry ladies and gentlemen we're

just taking a permanent loan from the

rock island payroll

the pinkertons start putting up reward

signs five thousand dollars for any clue

on the path to

the james younger gang the pinkertons go

to visit mrs samuels

which is the mother of frank and jesse

james she remarried

yes he's obviously looking for the

james's and so they go to her house with

a warrant because they think they might

be hiding out there

she's pretty pissed off because it's

just her and her younger son from the

second marriage

who is mentally handicapped and she

doesn't like that she has to let these

detectives into her home

yeah and the pinkertons aren't a

government agency they're an independent

agency that's been

that the government is allowing to

operate right well the government

contracted them right correct

yeah yeah yeah in this in this situation

yeah

um they search her house and obviously

don't find uh

don't find the james brothers jim and a

cousin john

encounter some pinkertons in the woods

who are pretending to just be

like here to buy cattle but he's like

you're not in texas like nobody's here

to buy cattle

in the middle of the missouri one of

them for some reason pulls out a gun and

shoots john

yeah it seems real stupid like there's

no way out of this situation

unless you thought you could get the

draw on both of them in real life uh

john was a brother

he was a younger brother of the younger

family but he's playing a cousin here

sorry younger brother or a younger

younger brother a younger younger

brother okay

much younger is that his name his name

is much younger

yeah but they changed his name to john

because that was so [ __ ] confusing

who's on first um but jim obviously

kills both of them because

jim's not an idiot and uh he saw this

coming a mile away yeah

before he kills the second guy he's like

18 year old i got to take him back to

his family dead

you broke the law

and it's like you just killed an

innocent 18 year old you could tell me i

broke the law oh

darn more pinkertons after this happened

decide to throw a bomb into the james

house yeah and well it wasn't supposed

to be about it wasn't supposed to be a

bomb but it sure as hell was

yeah and if this ends up killing their

the mentally handicapped brother

um i guess the mom survives but they

claim that

it was just supposed to be a smoke bomb

sorry it's just like i guess the mom

survives

it's just yeah she does when it happened

i thought that the whole point was that

they like blew up the whole

house and killed everybody but somehow

the mom is at the funeral because you

hear her screaming in that scene i

didn't think she made it out until you

saw her at the funeral either

oh okay but uh they they the

leader of the pinkertons um sits down

with the detectives that were in charge

of this mission

and he's like uh you mind telling me

what the hell happened because you sure

made a hero out of these james brothers

now

and he says well we were just trying to

smoke him out and then he says so you're

telling me it wasn't a bomb oh no it

wasn't a bomb

you were sure it was not a bomb no no it

wasn't no bomb

it's like no it was a bomb yeah well you

throw something and then it explodes

then that make that's a bomb

by definition yeah the the commentary

that he keeps

this character is is it ripley yes yeah

you know he he keeps having these like

little aside conversations with

the pinkertons and also the coroner and

the press who i feel like the press

character

was like meant for bert lancaster

like i was like oh man this guy's got

like the perfect like burt lancaster

like smile and

yeah but yeah i like the coroner's

comments of like him

trying to warn him like these guys have

a lot of friends and you're causing a

lot of problems

yeah and making them look better yeah

when he killed the first two guys he was

like

we're gonna have a huge funeral for

these guys the governor's gonna be there

and he's like

i'm sure their souls will appreciate it

like it seems like a big waste of energy

and he's like well you don't know how

many men we have out in these fields and

he's like you know

how many relatives these people have in

this area um and for the

james brother or i guess the samuel

james yeah

well the weird the weirder part to just

combine with the younger younger that

the samuel's brother the mentally

handicapped one is named samuel

so his name is samuel samuels i think

unless i just heard them wrong but yeah

uh but at

their that funeral all of the funeral

goers

are also carrying guns because they

fully expect to be ambushed yeah

and so you know they're they're here to

defend jesse and frank

yeah you know so even if someone tried

to show up they would be

opening fire into a crowd of people at a

funeral men and women

that all have guns yeah and uh only one

person didn't bring

a gun yes and that's ed because he's a

dick as they're leaving the funeral

they call him on it and they're like hey

i couldn't help but notice he didn't

bring a gun

and he says well you kicked me out of

your gang and uh i don't wish any harm

on you guys but it's not it's not my job

to protect you and then jim basically

says oh well you're

i think you're a dick and then beth says

yeah i think he's a dick too

and he's like come on beth let's go home

and she's like nah i'm gonna stay here

with this guy now

and that's basically like she just

traded husbands immediately right there

because uh she's never with him again

for the rest of the film i

i think what happened was her plan was

to get

him the whole time but when she

announced her engagement

he didn't bite yeah like he was supposed

to fight it yeah

uh and and now she's like oh now i gotta

be with this guy

yeah yeah i think she had definitely had

my buyer's remorse

very quickly when she got home with ed

the gang rides into town at night

and kills the pinkertons who threw the

bomb who just seem like they're not

prepared at all for this confrontation

like

they hear the horses coming they they

know it's the gang yeah they get the

horse

like like they're really quiet at first

but then the horses start to like

make noise like horse noises i mean

what are you gonna do you shoot your

horse let's try to be quiet

do this again tomorrow next horse better

not make a sound but they pull up to

these guys and they're like oh hey

what's up

what's up uh james younger gang and he's

like

uh you you killed our brother and he's

like oh no that that was uh some other

people

they're like no no it wasn't yeah it was

you guys and uh

he was 15 years old and he never hurt

anybody you guys can

say hi to him on your way to hell and

then they shoot him through the window

yeah

oh every we should bring up to that

every kill is in slow motion

almost every shot even when it's just

hitting a window or a wall

he does go into slow motion a lot by the

way i'm just getting a telegram now uh

samuel samuels is not the character's

name is archie samuels apparently

so i was wrong it seems like the

families of each of these men are like

living together

um yeah or they have a house together or

i guess i'm assuming it's

because they might need to get up and

leave

right away in the middle of the night

like if they show up and say we're

getting out of here

grab what you got it you know yeah uh

but the the wives of the james younger

gang

are all seem to be in the same home and

the pinkertons arrive with a warrant

again

uh intending to find these men nobody's

home obviously because

after you kill a high profile person you

have to go hide for a while yeah that's

the standard procedure

and this time they are hiding out at mr

corkendale's barn

did you guys recognize mr corkendale uh

i did well

later i i recognized him but i didn't i

asked you who it was and you wouldn't

tell me

until right now it's ralph from tuala

good night

yeah okay yeah he's so it turns out he's

actually a decent actor and that was

just a bad movie

oh who the [ __ ]

the probably the lowest ranked horror

movie on any of our lists is actually a

bad movie

mr corkendale has offered his barn to

them they're all kind of hanging out the

next morning he uh he brings them some

breakfast

and uh robert is like oh what's uh

what's for breakfast and he's like

crackling grits and he's like that's

what i had yesterday like if we were

gonna get like a rotating menu like

there's a cruise ship or something but i

like the

the following of just like shut up no

you shut up yeah you shut up

everyone's telling each other to shut up

why don't you be polite bob don't pick

on bob

shut up jim shut up prank they just keep

going he's a bunch of brothers like

brothers just trying to defend their own

brothers

it just speaks to the whole like

family-centric

like their whole plan of how to be a

person don't be picking on bob jesse

hey shut up jim shut up yourself frank

i ain't got nothing but respect for mr

mccorkandale

then corkendale steps outside and is

immediately shot through the heart

yeah and you're to blame you give love a

bad name

amazingly the pinkertons who have

surrounded the shack there's like

12 of them in a line and a field that

are firing on the shack from one side of

it

yeah like you had the element of

surprise why aren't you surrounded

surround the place so they all sneak out

the back door

while they're just punching holes in

this shack i think only frank is hit

yeah and they kill all the pigs and pigs

and

like just it's like oh well that's just

because they're hungry i think because

the rule is you get to eat whatever you

kill

not just including mr corker

um yeah so everybody escapes i think

only frank is hit

but not seriously but he gets to leave

first because he got hit

they have like a whole system but uh now

we get the pinkertons talking to ed in

jail where

he got put in jail for like busting up a

place i assume he went and got drunk

because beth left him

and then got mad and destroyed a bar and

they offer him a reward if he tells on

anybody from the james younger gang

and he's like oh that'd be great yeah

i'd get out and then i get shot in the

face the next day like i don't know if

you're paying attention but people who

cross that gang

don't don't last very long on the

outside and he also says

and maybe he'll change his mind and bust

me out because he pays better than you

yeah frank decides that he's going to

take the step

to settle down with a girl named annie

cole goes to texas because he heard the

bell got married

um the the prostitute who he constantly

reminds she's a prostitute he's very mad

that she found someone to be with him

and uh let me go on for a fight scene

that goes on way too long yeah

eats up a lot of the movie i i think the

point of it was that

uh these two people are actually doing

their the stunts of this fight the

choreography and they wanted to show off

that they were doing it themselves

it's david carradine and james remar and

uh they're in this fight for a while

james reimar is playing sam who is

supposed to be a native american

character

yeah it's not native american at all and

the two of them are

they they have like a scarf in each of

their mouths to connect them

like in the beat it video where their

hands are tied to each other but here

they have to keep their teeth clenched

on either end of this

piece of fabric and uh i guess it's so

you can't get

too far away from the right foundation

yeah but the difference in the beat it

video is that they actually like

knot it so they're tied on like you

can't even leave

until you kill the person and then you

have to drag their corpse around

because that's the rule the fight ends

with

cole stabbing sam in the leg which i

think was on purpose

not a fatal blow because he just wanted

to say like hey i'm just here to show

you

that the guy you picked isn't as good as

me but i'm not here to murder anybody

so he wins the fight and then on his way

out of the bar he tells her that she got

what she wanted

you got what you wanted i don't think

she did get what she wanted no but i

think know what she wanted

though i think it's like she wants him

well

she started this fight and it seemed

like

there's an outcome that would have made

her happy but i don't think there is an

outcome that would make her happy with

this fight

i think what would have made her the

happiest would be if he stabbed sam in

the heart

and then rushed off and married her but

what she gets is pretty disappointing

because

basically what he thinks she wanted was

to piss him off

and to force him to come down here and

face off with this guy and now he's done

it

and so she got what she wanted but

that's not really what she wanted

jesse comes home after having been in

hiding for a long time and tells z

that he's ready to round up the gang for

a new mission even though he just got

home

yeah well and also his entire demeanor

has changed

yeah uh he he seems much more

coarse and calculating and he's growing

a beard

of cheating like yeah yeah he's just

like oh so how many people have you had

here

well i've been gone she's like well it's

none of your business and

don't forget how you're supposed to talk

to me so he rounds up the gang

jim tells beth that he is ready to

settle down finally and frank and annie

decide that they are going to part ways

clel pitches a bank in northfield

minnesota as their next mark

because he heard through the grapevine

that there's a whole mess of money there

they don't like the idea of going that

far outside of missouri

because that's kind of where their whole

setup is and

where all the easy marks have been but

jesse kind of pushes for it because he's

like no i heard there's a lot of money

there so we're going to make it work

he seems like he's getting really

i reckless i don't know if it's just i

don't know what causes character change

yeah we don't really see it but he also

introduces two new characters bill

chadwell and

charlie pitts who will be joining along

for the mission

you charlie pitts yeah the political

prisoner

from macgyver oh

what did we have him in he was in the

ninth configuration also with stacy

keach

yeah he's in that bar fight tim

rossovich he's great

so i was looking back up the archie

samuel thing just to double check

yeah that it was that that that is his

younger brother's name who was killed

when the pinkertons attacked the house

yeah his mom lost an arm in that attack

oh my god

yeah and also her name is zarelda which

is awesome

yeah that is a pretty cool name the men

all decide that they're gonna hit a

whorehouse for their last

night before this attack because seems

like we're trying to foreshadow a lot of

people dying

like they're just like all right this is

our last night let's have some fun

uh jesse is the only one who doesn't

partake in the ladies but everyone else

is like waking up next to a woman

and then saying all right i'm off to die

today cole says that he's going to write

a book about his

exploits and frank says i expect a free

copy he's like

you gotta pay frank

the guys show up in northfield and we

have to get the same shot of every

single character's face over and over

and over yeah

it's like the same distance same framing

like i just would have appreciated it

more if they'd have been like

here's these three brothers here's these

two brothers like something like that or

here's the two extra guys but we

we just have everyone's head dead center

in the frame

cutting from one face to another face

over and over i'm sure there was a

reason for it i just didn't

i didn't get it jim says that they ought

to case the joint drive through figure

out like

the best path to the bank and what

they're gonna do and how they're gonna

get in and out

and jesse says [ __ ] it basically he's

like no we're here we

we know there's a bank let's go find it

and take the money and leave

but when they get inside they run into

problems pretty immediately

as soon as they're pulling their guns

out before they even walk in the front

door

yeah which is insane well they're yeah

this is where you're talking about them

getting being

a little reckless yeah but i feel like

the fact that they were all saying

missouri is safer and everything we know

is in missouri let's stay here and he's

like nah let's go to minnesota there's

money there like i feel like that was

the first step into the recklessness

and then here where he's saying no we

don't need to practice this or figure

out how we're going to do it let's just

go in and do it

and then some of the other guys even

make the point like there's no use

talking to him

like we can't convince him to do

anything right

but the bank tells him that the safe is

time controlled

because the times they are changing and

uh

that's indicated also before they step

into the bank by a car going down the

street

really a car it's a motorized internal

it was like one of those well it wasn't

a combustion i thought it was like a

steam engine

type vehicle you know i'm not actually

100 sure on that

but it's some kind of a vehicle that's

not horsepowered it's a horseless

carriage

and they all watch it slowly go past

them and it's just an indicator that

like

oh no the time the time of our

technology is running out and uh

we might have a problem here but they

get inside and there's some

magical spell on the safe and it only

opens at a certain time of day

the banker basically tells them everyone

in the whole town knows that you guys

were coming

and they all have guns and they're ready

to kill you

so they have to leave what are we

pulling up here

oh sorry i just i don't i don't remember

the the steam engine thing so i wanted

to go well i'm trying

and i'm trying to find the name of what

kind of it does look like horseless

carriages

yeah it's it's some kind of

it's not on a track but it is the front

of it looks like a train

real though so and it has like a a big

yeah steam powered like cylinder thing

happening on the front of it

it's wood powered whatever it is so they

had like a supply oh is it wood

yeah i guess it's probably just um like

a like a

train then yeah yeah i think it's just

like he said steam-powered horseless

carriage we'll put a picture of it on

the instagram yeah

um and you guys can tell us because we

don't know what the [ __ ] we're talking

about

but yeah everyone in town has guns

they're all loaded and they're they're

ready to kill some bank robbers they

knew they were coming to this town

because

i'm assuming that pinkerton's actually

spread the word that this safe was full

of money because they're trying to lure

these kids out here

and the bank teller clerk gets a little

smug it's like the whole town knows

you're coming yeah it's just like

dude do you want to stay alive yeah you

know we shoot people who are nice to us

right

the gang is shot hundreds of times on

their way out of town

yeah but they also have no idea which

way they're going because they didn't do

any yeah they didn't recon

yeah there was no prep work and they

they loop around

past the same groups of people shooting

at them multiple times they're jumping

over fences but

just running into more city and getting

more and more lost i wouldn't be

surprised if this town actually like

moved in fences to block roads behind

them after they went into the bank

well it looks like they they put two

like hay bale wagons

out in the street to kind of block their

path yeah so they just keep looping

around in this town and getting shot by

all these different groups of people

chadwell and pitts die in the town we

don't see them afterwards

they end up having to crash the horses

through a set of windows to get the

whole way out

this looked horrifying yeah not just the

jumping through the windows with the

horses but the aftermath when

one of the guys falls off the horse and

just gets trampled by a horse

those horses were definitely hurt in the

filming of the scene definitely

and they they trained the horses to jump

through the windows

but a horse will only jump through a

window once

so they train them to jump through a

specific shape

and they train them and train them and

train them to do that and then the last

time there's a window in it

they did test runs with other horses and

then when they got these horses these

horses had not jumped through a window

there's the first window that each of

these horses is jumping through but

like those videos you see of like dogs

running up to a sliding door that's open

oh yeah they won't go through it because

they've run into it too many times yeah

that's true so they just don't trust

that it's open

so everybody's pretty messed up after

this fight except for

the james brothers basically they don't

get hit too bad yeah frank takes a hit

but he's not he doesn't seem like he's

dying he just got one in the arm

yeah but uh the one who's looks the

worst

who i fully expected yeah is bob yeah

and

he's he's okay yeah bob younger has been

shot like

11 times or something like that they say

and he's

still talking um keith has been shot

through the cheeks yeah he took a shot

in the chest and he took a shot

through his face that went in one cheek

and blasted out the other and tore a

bunch of his face off on the other side

so he's just not talking but he's alive

and he actually seems less hurt than the

other people he's just unable to talk

now

and clel is dead took one bullet but it

went right through the gut

yeah and uh and so he dies here in the

woods outside of town

cole and jim say they're gonna stay with

bob younger because he looks real messed

up

and the james brothers say we can't just

sit here with him we have to go or

you're going to get arrested

and they leave yeah and the youngers do

get arrested here

so in custody the pinkerton and the the

press man are both trying to get

information out of them

but the youngers refuse to answer any

questions obviously yes as is the way

yeah and and is true to what happened to

them

even though this was like basically the

splitting of these two families in terms

of their their criminal exploits this

was uh well not entirely but we'll get

into it oh really frank kept with them

well we'll get it okay um the the ford

brothers meet with the pinkertons and

say hey

we can we can deliver jesse to you or we

can kill him for you

and he's like well you know i heard that

jesse kind of doesn't give a [ __ ] about

you guys

and i don't believe you and he says well

jesse already reached out to us

about his next job and he wants us to

come meet with him

so he's like all right so we cut to

jesse's home

he's there and he has his kid there

played by his actual son

and his wife is there but also some of

the younger wives are there

because all the youngers are in jail and

the ford brothers come in

and they talk to him for a little bit

and he says

it's crooked what'd you say

he said it's not straight and they get

paranoid because they think he

he's caught on that what they're doing

is like a trap but he's talking about

a picture frame on the wall and so when

he goes to straighten it

they shoot him in the back basically so

this is the a very famous

scene yes um obviously if you've seen

the assassination of jesse james by the

coward robert ford film

yes robert ford went on to

play his sim self on stage right because

they didn't have

films the only way to recreate an

historical event for the

populist was to actually act it out yeah

and so they got the guy that did it to

act out

yeah and they had they constantly kept

doing this thing about the picture being

crooked

and so that that is like a

well-documented thing i was i was

i was waiting for it to happen it was

like okay and you're doing it now he's

gonna talk about something being crooked

up on the wall

the last thing he says before he kills

jesse is i shot jesse james because he's

just

he wants to be a legend but it's funny

because the title of another film is

becomes a spoiler for this film yeah

because the whole time as soon as they

introduce

rob ford i'm like oh this is the guy

that does it i'm just curious how

they're going to cross bats again

frank turns himself in to the pinkertons

in exchange for the opportunity to bury

his brother

we see him riding on the train with the

coffin and

people are coming up to the tracks to

pay their respects as they move through

town

and that's the end of the film so some

of the things that happened later in

their lives

yeah uh frank james uh eventually ended

up

in uh wild west shows oh okay like he

went on to do

just because you know just like setting

bowl and and buffalo bill like they

right and oakley yeah they all just join

these shows

because they're famous right not just

they're just famous for being famous

like you know he's a famous

criminal and it seemed like they had

that kind of a retirement in mind the

whole time like when cole said like i'm

gonna write a book about my adventures

well when cole got out of prison he

joined up with frank's west show oh

interesting okay

so they got back together um but didn't

frank go to

jail or did he just not go to jail they

all go to jail but they all get out

i mean that's the thing is like i can't

believe any of them ever got out

considering how many people

they've killed and robbed yeah they all

got out it's this is well you have to

make the murder stick and you have to

i mean all you can really 100 dead to

rights accuse them of is the bank

robbery is the one that you caught them

doing

because nobody's gonna snitch on them

yeah

so uh yeah they all eventually when one

of the younger brothers dies in prison

from

uh tuberculosis i believe yeah uh one of

them committed suicide

after he got out oh okay just couldn't

take the life but

uh yeah cole joins up with uh frank's

wild west show

and and frank goes on like it's it's so

strange

like that that these people have lives

where nowadays like you stay in jail

and you know it's sometimes well yeah

there's a famous

cannibal in japan who like killed an ada

woman

and now he's a celebrity for having

killed and eaten a woman

like he served his time and he got out

and now he's just a celebrity who like

they're like oh he's the guy that killed

and ate the woman like oj here but

he actually served time for the crime

that he did which is crazy

i feel like that wouldn't i see why that

sequel fell apart yeah

it's not as a cinematic to be like oh

and then they all pretended to shoot

people

for decades after yeah um uh i think

uh i need to look it up

because i think the character of the

character of frank james is in the true

grit

oh okay colin brothers true great movie

let's go look it up you know have you

ever seen um

what is the name of the movie that is

basically a sequel to tombstone

that's it's called like sunshine

something but it takes place in the

early 1900s

like the dawn of the film industry and

it's kurt russell working on westerns

i don't know but that sounds great not

kurt russell but it's white earp i would

watch that movie

i wish they would do a sequel right now

with kurt russell

i think it has the word sunshine in the

title just look up uh

wyatt earp movie sunshine well there's a

movie called wyatt earp

that's true with kevin cosby yeah

so uh about my true grit uh when

when uh the character of maddie ross

comes to look for

uh rooster cockburn she's going to the

cole

james west show okay to look for him he

had joined up with them uh

and so when she's talking to people

she's talking to cole younger and j

and and frank james oh okay that's

awesome so like this just

it's cool too yeah just to establish

more like that these characters went on

so the movie i was thinking of is just

called sunset

um but uh having retired from a life of

gunfights and peacekeeping the great

wyatt earp

played by james garner has landed a job

as

advisor to a western movie about himself

on the set of the silent picture he gets

to know

tom mix played by bruce willis an actor

who specializes in westerns

who has been hired to portray erp not

long after making each other's

acquaintances

they find out that erp's ex-girlfriend's

son is missing and the man responsible

may be studio chief alfie alperin

malcolm mcdowell that sounds like an

interesting movie yeah but i would love

for them to make a sequel

to tombstone with kurt russell now

that's about stuff that he did

way beyond tombstone because people

forget that white earth lived a really

long time

after that movie took place and

obviously walter hill we've mentioned

uh directed the warriors but he's

directed a bunch of good stuff let me

pull up

he's also a producer on a lot of things

like aliens and alien

um he also wrote and directed the the 48

hours movies

which have a lot of cast in common with

this and brewster's millions

did he yeah he directed that yeah um

speaking of

bruce willis and westerns he also did

last man standing

which is another great one that makes a

lot of use of uh

the slow motion western stuff yeah

boosters minions that's awesome

this was pretty early in his career he

didn't start until 75 so

but he's great uh bill brydon one of the

writers was also the director of a film

called arya which i feel like i

recognize this cover box but

i don't know the film well i think it's

also

important to note that the writers along

with the keaches

they the all their writing credits are

with the ampersand

and so they all wrote it together they

all wrote it together

which is surprising to have so many uh

you know say too many cooks in the

kitchen

yeah but i feel that this movie comes

together pretty well too many cooks

also walter hill has an uncredited uh

screenwriting credit on this film i

assume that's just

little notes that he put in over the

course of uh

shooting it obviously uh moving through

the cast we can start with uh

david carradine who played cole younger

um

probably right now best known for bill

and kill bill yeah

or frankenstein in death race 2000 which

is one of my favorite credits that has

but he was also uh kwai chan kane in

kung fu which is probably what he's most

famous for before

he also played william sharp in a game

called saints row

where we have a credit together because

i was a video game tester on that game

nice uh keith carradine played jim

younger he was wild bill hickok on

deadwood obviously

and uh he played agent lundy uh the

boyfriend of dexter's sister

for a season of dexter yeah he's by far

the most attractive of the care teams of

maybe all of these brothers well see

like

and and i was trying to figure out which

one was keith carradine because i'm not

overly familiar with his work

and as soon as he appeared on his film

was like that's good

well that's that's the benefit of hiring

brothers to play brothers is that they

there's a definite family where's robert

carradine come into this is like he

looks

nothing like true yeah well he's he's

also significantly younger than them

like he it feels like there is an age

gap

because he is one of the younger robert

carradine plays bob younger he was louis

skelnick in revenge of the nerds and

revenge of the nerds too

and also mr mcguire on lizzie mcguire

uh james keach here was the uh he was

obviously jesse james in this movie he's

the warden and walk the line

he plays the motorcycle cop in vacation

oh no he pulls them over

for the dog wait really yeah oh my god i

totally didn't recognize him

uh apparently he's the longtime husband

of jane seymour they're separated now

but they were married for a long time

uh stacy keach was frank james here i

always think of him as titus's dad on

titus but uh he's probably better known

to my dad as from the mike hammer show

um he was also ed piegram in nebraska

and colonel kane in the ninth

configuration

dennis quaid as ed miller people know

him from gorp

randy quaid was clel miller

we're gonna go back no we're gonna go

back to this right we've covered

maybe this is their first time listening

in and they don't know if you didn't

listen to gorpy you don't deserve the

long riders

[Music]

but if there was an interspace there we

go we can move on that's fine okay

randy quite was clel miller um he was in

foxes

and i'm starting to wonder if randy

isn't like the john belushi to dennis's

jim belushi

because i think randy's the better actor

i think in terms of like the stuff that

he's done i think i like

randy moore and i believe randy more

yeah but dennis puts

gets put in a lot of like

family-friendly stuff

whereas i think randy gets the weird

stuff and i think both ryan also

is the weirder guy yeah and both of them

were destroyed by drugs

but randy survived it somehow harry

carey jr

was george arthur um he was driving the

stage coach

he was very excited about getting robbed

by the james yeah he plays

zeke the old timer in the saloon and

back to the future three

yeah i mean because again he's a

comes from a western performing family

right so uh you know harry carey

junior's got to be you gotta throw him

in there yeah

if quentin tarantino was making this

movie he would have thrown harry

oh 100 yeah because that's all he cares

about is like

the the pedigree of the people that he's

casting marshall fred

white in tombstone was also harry kerry

jr

he also plays mr anderson in gremlins

he's

father canavan and exorcist three

he's in a movie called cyborg 2087. have

you ever heard of this

i have not his character's name is jc

which sounds like a rapper

but the plot of the movie sounds

suspiciously like terminator or maybe

even more specifically terminator 2.

so cyborg 2087 here's the plot ready

yeah a cyborg is sent back in time from

the future to prevent a scientist from

creating technology which caused his

dystopian timeline

and is pursued by other cyborgs what

year is this movie

i don't know 2078 now no it won't take

place until 2087 but

it came out before that but it's called

cyborg i can't find it on his list

1966 yeah but isn't that pretty

similar to uh yeah totally similar to

terminator

i thought that was interesting and now i

want to watch it

right now so let's stop down real quick

uh

harry carey jr also not related to harry

carey the sportscaster

played popularly by uh will ferrell on

saturday night live

i'm confused it's a simple question

doctor

would you eat the moon if it were made

of ribs

christopher guests played charlie ford

um he's probably best known as

a director um he directed waiting for

guffman best in show a mighty wind

apparently he directed almost heroes i

didn't realize that

until i was going through his mdv pages

i love that movie and stop there

because it sounded like you were going

to be critical of it um he also stars in

spinal tap he's a member of the band

and he plays a sheriff character and

princess bride right

a sheriff who is he he's the the main

guy that knight i like i like my answer

better he's the sheriff character

the main guy that pursues them yeah

isn't he a sheriff or no

well yeah i guess he's like a nottingham

type he also plays spongebob's cousin

stanley squarepants

count count rogan yeah there you go

i always had to go through the script in

my head i was like mandy panteca was

like after i killed count root

yeah it doesn't leave much time for

dilly dally

nicholas guest his brother played bob

ford uh i don't really recognize this

guy from a lot of stuff

but uh he was todd chester and christmas

vacation

like uh why is the carpet wet i don't

know margo um and

uh he's also the voice of the robot on

the macgyver reboot

you know the robot yeah he does the

voice of that robot

what the heck pamela reed was belle

starr she plays trudy cooper in the

right stuff

she uh was phoebe and kindergarten cop

which is what i always think of yeah

she's the

she's the the original choice to be the

teacher yeah that he that arnold is

filling in for because she was injured

like she broke her leg or something oh

she got like

pneumonia or something okay so she's in

like a wheelchair for part of it right

i think i think afterwards because they

get she gets in a fight with

the the mother oh okay um but

yeah she can't go because she's just

physically sick oh okay

she also plays leslie knope's mom on

parks and rec

so that's fun james ramar was sam starr

he's dexter's dad

he's in a lot of stuff yeah he was

the neighbor's abusive boyfriend in

cruising which we covered before

shelby leverington played annie ralston

which was

frank's love interest very briefly she

played marilyn gardner in cloak and

dagger

buck west mr corkendale his he's

credited as buck west in uh to all a

good night but his name is wes buchanan

and he's crazy ralph from tuala good

night edward bunker

played chadwell uh one of the two guys

that they hired for

the northfield job um he plays captain

holmes in tango and cash he's mr blue

in reservoir dogs and he's an actual

convicted robber

who did time at folsom with danny trejo

but he actually robbed a bank

and uh he has a very interesting life

story because apparently as a child he

used to swim at hurst castle when hearst

was still alive

chris mulkey played vernon biggs that

was the the angry husband character and

he played hank jennings

on twin peaks tim rosevich we already

covered he was the political prisoner on

the guyver ninth configuration

and he plays haverman in cloak and

dagger so we have two cloak and dagger

people

uh lynn shea played kate i don't

remember which one was kate

well that's not that there's a lot of

characters and i don't remember

a kate specifically but she's pretty low

down

on the list so i'm wondering but she

actually has

a lot of credits that i know yeah but

lynne shay was

mrs nugaborg and dumb and dumber the

woman who wants all the dogs

at the very beginning uh she's also uh

she plays a character named margie

in dumb and dumber the prequel okay

she's also the landlady in kingpin with

randy quaid

and uh she plays mary's neighbor in

something about mary the one that's

always like extremely tan

she is also the linchpin of the

insidious series she plays elise raynor

um the woman who's been in all of the

insidious films i have not seen a single

one and i don't plan to there you go

the first one's actually decent i liked

it but you don't like

those kind of movies uh until we get

there and then you have to

uh peter jason played one of the

pinkertons he was gilbert and they live

he played master boyd in mortal combat

khan stapleton on deadwood he was

captain skip

gleason on my camera with stacy keach

he played mr janus in congo which is the

guy that owns the company

right isn't mr janice the one that that

owns the company that

has the satellite no that was uh joedon

baker

oh okay who's mr janus must be just

somebody in the area

uh sorry which character is this one of

the pinkertons the guy with a beard that

kind of around her face that gets shot

through the window

but uh he also played bert in the

baltimore bullet

okay and then we have duke stroud was

the other pinkerton

that gets shot through the window he is

the brother of dawn stroud who

they could have played siblings as

pinkertons if we wanted more siblings in

this movie yeah i i don't know why they

didn't go

gopher broke with it just keep doing it

yeah but dawn stroud uh

is in a couple macgyver episodes he's

the one that bought me pants

so uh yeah so duke strad's brother

bought me pants

william traylor wait what he was a

friend of my mom's

and he bought he bought pants uh for the

baby shower

okay

i just met him and he bought me pants uh

william traylor was another one of the

pinkertons and he plays

general cat bird in buckaroo bonsai and

he's also mr underhill in fletch

the guy who fletch keeps putting stuff

on his tab at the

at the country club that he snuck into

but yeah solid cast

i honestly i think that i have the

opposite

thoughts on this film as jeff bridges

where i think

the gimmick of the brothers is does make

it really interesting

and i like the writing but i don't

actually care for the direction that

much

i think the use of the slow motion was

weird especially in some scenes where it

looked like they just did it on an empty

set like when uh belle shoots the

chandelier down yeah you just see it

fall to the floor but it doesn't appear

to be anyone in the room and it's

weirdly lit

and i feel like that's a product of not

knowing how to light slow motion

because the way the camera captures

light yeah you have to turn up the

lights

yeah super high um and so everything

seems really dark

uh and so there were a couple of times

where i was like yeah this just

wasn't maybe they were running multiple

cameras and so they were trying to get

slow-mo

and regular speed at the same time so

they couldn't change the lighting

between i don't know

but you shouldn't do that uh but yeah

i mean i i don't know if i had any the

the wipes were weird they had star wars

wipes yeah did they really

that was a little weird i didn't

remember that i was like was that a star

wars one

yeah only star wars is allowed to do

that and no one's even sure why

yeah i'll also accept it in willow as it

is a lucasfilm yeah but

willow is probably the same universe

[Laughter]

but yeah and i also i said it before but

i don't care for the like

i get it like i know these people are

related we don't keep having to cut from

one face to another face to another face

to another face but the same framing and

everything

yeah just give me wider shots you know

arrange the

the characters more interestingly in

frame than than

just centering on everybody that's

enough of me ripping off all's direction

it's i enjoyed the film um and i do

enjoy the story of these characters and

i appreciate that he tried to keep as

close to the reality of

their lives as he did yeah because i

think even he got very frustrated with

how how

loose people play with this story and so

he's like no it's

it is it was about family for them and i

want to

portray that and it makes it interesting

to actually have

family members playing family members in

them

what do you think jess up or down on

this one uh i gave this one a note

i really enjoyed it yeah that's enough

for me too uh i had never i've never

seen it although like i said my

i don't know if actually i don't know if

i mentioned on the podcast my dad was

very excited that i was watching

it's the first time of any of the movies

that i've mentioned to him with us

watching he's like

well i know that movie i own it yeah so

other than you said he was really

excited about caligula when we brought

that no no

no not really so uh yeah

he talked it up a lot and i felt that it

lived up to

his hype yeah so

yeah i i'm gonna give this one an up too

it's not like my favorite western but

um i think it the gimmick is enough to

keep me interested the whole way through

it

and uh and the fact that it's a true

story and they stayed as as true to

the the actual events as they could

makes it interesting to me i wonder if i

would have cared as much about it

if i didn't know the gimmick about the

brothers

or who they were like having if you if

you go straight into this movie

not knowing who any of these people are

would you like it as much and i don't

know if you would

i think that i might not because if i

didn't know all these people i would

have a much harder time telling them

apart

i agree with that yes yeah because i

know who they are and i still had a hard

time every now and then telling them

apart

honestly if these all weren't like

actors who still get work today

yeah then i feel like i would have had a

hard time telling them apart yeah i mean

obviously carradine's not getting any

work today but

the rest of them i felt bad in that

scene where he was in the hospital

he's like what do you and your brothers

think about a life sentence i mean

you're lucky they don't allow hanging in

this state

i was like that wine does not age well

that's a bummer

no i think it's a i think it's a plus um

where does this go in your letterbox

richard um i actually am going to put

this right above tom horn

a very similarly themed okay closing of

the west

kind of tale but i did enjoy this better

than tom horton

which is so that puts it between little

miss marker and above tom horn

okay jess i actually have this pretty

high on my list

um mostly because there's been a lot of

terrible movies this year

uh but this is right now it's let's see

one two three

it's seventh on my list it's right under

the changeling and right above mad max

oh okay cool um i think for me this goes

right above coal miner's daughter and

just below last married couple

for me um yeah

i think that's about everything for this

one uh if you have any thoughts you'd

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you can find each of our full movie

rankings for the year

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vintage video podcast thank you so much

for listening and i hope you'll join us

next time

when we will be discussing something

called empire strikes back

which imdb says is about after the

rebels are brutally overpowered by the

empire on the ice planet hoth

luke skywalker begins jedi training with

yoda while his friends are pursued by

darth vader

and a bounty hunter named boba fett all

over the galaxy so that sounds it's like

sci-fi probably that's sci-fi yeah

never heard of it all these names sound

weirdly familiar though