we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

looks like i picked the wrong way to

quit sniffing blue light

of my life we enjoy your films

i thought they smelled bad on the

outside

welcome to vintage videos where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time i'm

patrick o'reilly i'm jesse bayless and

i'm richard wells and today marks the

40th anniversary of the release of happy

hooker ghost hollywood

on june 4th 1980 it was written by devin

goldenberg

based on a story by devin goldenberg and

alan roberts featuring characters from

the novel the happy hooker

by xaviera hollander with yvonne dunlevy

and robin moore directed by alan roberts

and released by canon films

this film is the third installment in

the happy hooker series which started

with the direct adaptation of xavier

hollander's novel the happy hooker in

1975 starring lynn

redgrave as xaviera the novel was

autobiographical

in 1968 xavier resigned from her job as

a secretary in the dutch consulate in

manhattan

to become a call girl where she made a

thousand dollars a night which is the

equivalent of 7 400

a night today i don't know how she did

that just

overnight making that much i guess you

just had access to the right clients

i imagine you make connections to the

consulate yeah

you get hit on by enough people from

enough of visiting dignitaries

not the now that we're trying to say

anything negative about the dutch

a year later she opened her own brothel

the vertical [ __ ] house

and soon became new york city's leading

madam and in 1971 she was arrested for

prostitution by the new york police

and forced to leave the united states a

year later in 1972 she released a novel

of her story

before the happy hooker film series

xavier had been portrayed twice

on film once in a straight pornographic

film called the life and times of xavier

hollander

in 1974 and again in a film called the

best part of a man

in 1975 the same year as the happy

hooker film franchise

it's about her though um

75 was a big year for her though because

that was the best part of a man

she was she is featured in it as a

character being played by an actress

but she also released her first happy

hooker film based on her novel

and her the first documentary about her

life came out in 75 so

that was just like that year everyone

really cared about super popular

the happy hooker yeah a sequel to the

happy hooker called the happy hooker

goes to washington

this time starring joey heatherton as

xaviera zaviera

and she also appears as herself in two

documentaries of her life story one

i mentioned in 75 and another in like

2006 or 2008 very recently

but the happy hooker goes to washington

was after this one

right no oh that came before this one

that was in 77 yeah

so that was the the second of the three

and this is the final

installment got it um each installment

of the franchise was released by canon

films

of which this is our first canon film uh

in 1979 canon films was very near

destitute

and founders dennis friedland and chris

dewey sold canon to israeli cousins

menehem golan and joram globus for half

a million dollars

in the 70s golden globus produced a

total of seven films with canon and

moved

into the 80s as owners of the company

and pushed forward green lighting bottom

of the barrel scripts into production

with some amazing results

we have three more coming on our

schedule this year including schizoid

the apple

and new year's evil we have new year's

eve

and christmas evil yes that's amazing

yeah it's amazing that it took until

exactly 1980 for people to realize that

pun

for the use of horror movies we start

the film with a

mercedes limousine driving through

beverly hills

mr workoff is in this limousine and it

pulls into the workoff brothers studios

lot the gate man calls into the offices

and warns all the employees that mr

workoff has arrived and to get ready

was it just a coincidence or were they

trying to pretend that it's

warner brothers no i think it was

definitely a parody of warner brothers

not that warner brothers had anything to

do with the first happy hooker film it

was it was straight canon the whole way

and it's possible that this third

installment was actually a

a retelling of her experience trying to

get the first film made

in the same way that scream three is the

story of scream getting made into it

yeah

that's that's almost certainly what this

is because it's like she might be

making fun of a specific person from

when she was trying to get the first

movie made i don't know

fair enough yeah uh workout's grandson

is telling everybody that he's coming

and he goes in to tell his dad joseph

rottman

and uh and rottman asks if he warned

lamely

and he says yeah i told everybody and he

said well you shouldn't have warned him

because he wants lilly to get in trouble

cause lamely and rottman are

the two potential heirs to the the

workoff brothers fortune they're

planning to take over the studio when uh

when mr workoff dies

he rolls into uh his office in a golden

wheelchair

yes a golden automatic wheelchair um

and he just wants movie pitches he

doesn't want them to give him any bad

news

he just wants ideas for features and

good news about stuff that they've

already put out

and this guy is followed like everywhere

he goes by

the two twins yeah like very young

attractive twin girls that

serve him yeah he's very a hugh hefner

type

character um but in a wheelchair so

maybe a combination of hugh hefner and

larry flint yeah

um he demands that they lock down a

script to a book that he just read

called the happy hooker by xavier

hollander

and we see the tail end of a transaction

between

a cop and xavier it turns out that the

way she's been able to run her brothel

in new york

is basically a rotational basis

bribe for the new york police department

but by having

sex with a different policeman each time

yeah it's like protection but you're

paying protection

but without protection when he was

leaving those

all right only sailors use costume

condoms

costumes sally sandwiches

sorry what were you gonna say uh i

thought it was funny when he was leaving

and and

he thought he was never gonna make it

back to the top of the list before he

had to retire

yeah probably never see you again

my name doesn't get to the top of the

list again until sometime in 1993.

so thanks uh xavier meets with lori and

susie

and uh she keeps a lawyer named george

waiting

uh lori is working on a cross stitch of

position 23 of the kamasutra her

favorite

she's been working on it for a long time

apparently i think she's supposed to be

kind of dumb

but even when they show it it looks

really terrible yeah

george the lawyer tells zav that they

want to

adapt her book into a film and he tells

her that film rights and his experience

could amount to

an up to 3 million payday and everyone's

very excited about this in the office

she says that she's gonna go meet with

them to talk about it

and a variety headline spins into frame

announcing that she's flying to los

angeles like variety would already care

before

a meeting was even had between these two

people

the grandson of the guy running the

studio chuck

rotman meets her at the airport xavier

goes

on the rita bida show yeah this is

supposed to be like some sort of like

hollywood news right it's like a gossip

show talk show type

right but they're trying to like put her

through the ringer with this yeah and

the studio specifically set her up

because they wanted to see how she could

deal with the press

and so she goes on the rita beta show

and rita just keeps trying to say

oh what plastic surgery have you had and

who did you have sex with since you got

here

have you slept with anyone interesting

since coming to hollywood you mean

besides you like all right interview's

over anyway this is the name of the book

and i think it's bad

workoff is not impressed by the

interview but everybody else seems to

think oh well at least she's fighting

back she she can defend herself in this

in this uh climate workoff

disappointed with the interview says i

think women should be felt they're not

heard

[Music]

and the twins both immediately crack up

at it because seems like they're paid to

laugh at whatever he says

xavier's driver tells her that she

basically passed the studio's test

so she tells him to pull over and they

have sex in the limousine

mr rottman at the studio tells her that

when he looks at the wall in his office

he sees

movies and that's why he's a movie

producer and she's a prostitute

and so he starts to tell her what he

imagines for this film

and he's like making up a story of her

childhood in sweden

i look at the wall and i see you as a

little child in your native sweden

holland whatever it's like my last name

is literally hollander

like how did you forget that um but uh

he's just improvising the story he

clearly hasn't read the book he just

says oh you were taken advantage of by

your teachers and

you developed like this one this need

for sexual

contact and she's like that's not and

none of that's in my book

um they sit her down and try to pitch

her like the set design of the film

instead of the story they're just

showing her like oh this is what the

windows are gonna look like and these

are the drapes and everything

and lamely enters this is the adam west

character

his name is spelt lamely like the adverb

but it's clearly a reference to carl

lamelly from universal

and he says to her they're kind of

ignoring the whole presentation that

she's getting and he says to her that he

wants to make her movie but he also

wants to make love to her

so they go to his home and have sex in

his hot tub

that night they throw a party at

lamely's house and his friends mary and

miles

are the best screenwriters in town so he

leaves

them talking with xavier to try and sell

her on them as screenwriters for the

film

which she agrees that they actually are

yeah it seems like they've

actually read the book which is more

than we can say for for rotman earlier

chris the actress who intends to play

xavier in the film

kind of pulls lamely aside and says hey

you need to hurry up and sign this girl

this movie needs to happen already

because i need to be in it

and he just tells her you know you gotta

wait you know these things take time and

i have to do things right

yeah there was a weird like marion the

the female

screenwriter seems to be like

fluctuating between disgust

yeah and and like but infatuation yeah i

couldn't tell if she thought it was

gross how this woman makes a living or

if she was like

literally just hot for her yeah xavier

gives her approval for the writing team

and uh lamely and zapiera sleep together

again

but before that chris sets up a uh

hidden

camera yes hidden hidden camera this

camera is like the size of your head

yeah and it's just in the corner of the

room with nothing in front of it just

pointed right at the bed it would be

hard to not notice it if you were on

this bed looking

forward and so the two of them are

having sex on camera

which this doesn't pay off no in any way

nope because she immediately shows it to

lamely the next morning

yeah and she says i have footage of you

two having sex and it's like

yeah i'm a hollywood producer and she's

a prostitute who's gonna care

who are you gonna show this to you can't

blackmail me with this i'm not married

unless he is i don't know we never

really cover that xavier overhears them

arguing about it and

kind of realizes that she's being wined

and dined and tricked by lamely

and so at breakfast she invites chris to

stay and eat with them

and smashes a grapefruit in her face and

then another one in lainley's crotch

james cagney style yeah except for the

crotch part

because i don't really know that

reference

james cagney smashed up grapefruit

grapefruit and an actress's face on set

for no it was part of the movie okay so

he was that part of the movie yeah for

publishing

use a crotch as a citrus juicer no okay

good

i thought it wasn't in the script was it

none of the script well it it's a famous

movie's public enemy

yeah um and he's a gangster and this

woman's kind of like mouthing off to him

at the table and so he just takes

grapefruit and smashes it in her face

that sounds uncomfortable it's not great

i don't like grapefruits it's a great

movie though

on her way out of the house she passes

chuck rotman

the son of uh i thought his name was

robbie

he says robbie at one point when a girl

when he's auditioning an actress he's

he's credited

as robbie but you you are right he calls

himself chuck

earlier in the film yes he does so i'll

switch back and forth too

that won't be confusing at all it's also

confusing because i'm pretty sure that

robbie rotten is the name of the bad guy

on lazytown

that just passed away yeah so robbie

rottman is uncomfortably close to that

wait i'm gonna go with chuck is lazytown

the weird children it's a piece of

kicked up

yeah that one anyway so that's not the

version that i think

i shouldn't know the names of the

characters on that that is the version i

just didn't get into the

okay what's his name yeah well john yeah

yeah yeah she walks out the door

and chuck is standing there with a bunch

of papers in his hand

and lamely's like trying to convince her

to come back and he says what do you

want chuck and he says oh nothing to do

with you and he turns around and starts

following her

and he gets in his car and she's just

walking down the sidewalk like she's

gonna get

anywhere on foot in los angeles well

she's also like just wearing

a like a robe or a shirt that she picked

up from there it's very conservative

no no shoes and she obviously doesn't

have any of her stuff

she's walking down the street it's the

walk of shame yeah

um and he offers her a ride and she just

kind of ignores him and continues

walking

and he pulls up next door again he's

like i don't know if you remember me

from 10 feet back

i still want to offer you a ride and i

have some something i'd like you to see

and she says no i'm gonna go back to new

york and he says on foot

it's gonna take you a while and they

both laugh at this hysterical joke

and she gets in the car and he hands her

the script that he adapted from her book

seemingly overnight oh treatment but

it's a lot of pages already yeah

coming up is like the montage of them

writing the script together right we see

them driving on pch

and uh she's already read the whole the

whole treatment and she loves it and so

they go to i guess his house to write

the script together um and he's like

getting tired

as they're working on it and he's like

passing out on the couch at night

and then she says i made some nudes

some nudes i made some notes

some notes

but i realized that she's saying i made

some notes but because of her accent

it definitely sounds like she's saying i

made some nudes

i think we had to back that one up a

couple times yeah it's like what did she

say

why did she draw naked pictures of

herself on the script for him

they're talking about how she doesn't

want to make the movie with the studio

anymore and so he says we can make it

ourselves we just need to find a way to

raise the money

and we cut to lax as the whole team from

the new york brothel is

rolling in with their suitcases it's

called a stable of horse

there you go the stable of [ __ ] is

here to raise the money

is that like parliament of owls

it was it was a reference from the other

guys

when will ferrell's recounting his story

of how he helped

friends female friends in college uh

make sure that they came to and from

their dates

he's like you were a pimp it's like no i

wasn't a pimp but you know i had a whole

bunch of girls working

uh you know that's called a stable of

horrors

coincidentally in canada they are ruled

by a parliamentary of owls

interesting government canada who

uh oh one of them escaped the girls are

now running a studio called pleasure

productions

which is a boutique whorehouse film

studio

uh i guess they all are

they're all film studios yeah all the

[ __ ] houses are basically film studios

that's clearly what i meant

i like i like how their skills just

like we could run a translate studio

because there's a switchboard at a

whorehouse i guess

yeah i don't know a customer arrives

looking for a little bo peep

and is mistakenly sent to the jungle

room

i unabashedly skipped huge portions of

this movie so if i'm quiet

it's because of that because i was

watching this in a very public place

so i only wanted to see when there were

boobs on screen yeah i was like oh gotta

get past this gotta get past this

boring boring clothes i like when she

walks into or when he walks into the

jungle room and you're like this reminds

me

of uh what's-her-face's room from uh to

all good nights yeah

leah is a rum or the girl from uh the

changeling that had the

ghost boy under her bed yeah excessive

amounts of plants in the 80s gays

yeah although it does kind of play into

her fantasy theme for the room

xavier heads to their film processing

lab and she says oh how much is it going

to cost to shoot an entire movie and he

what he should have said is

i have no idea i need to know exactly

how much footage you're going to bring

me

then we'll need to decide a bunch of

other things along the way but instead

he says

here's your total ma'am you just pay in

advance

one film please and she's like wow

that's a lot of money how about we just

have

sex and he's like that's like forty

eight thousand dollars on that piece of

paper i just like

you're not that good there's no way so

we're gonna have sex

forty eight times i'm gonna say we this

might be a recurring transaction yeah no

maybe it's uh

we got a monthly withdrawal

one second one second maybe maybe a

little faster

but yeah he luckily this guy takes sex

instead of money checks in the box

crash card or sex cash grass or ass

we get a montage of the bo peep cowgirl

bdsm

birthday fantasy rooms in pleasure

studios

xavier tries to rent a house to shoot in

for two days

and she ends up paying the realtor in

naked women

[Laughter]

how's he gonna explain that to ferris

bueller yeah it's going to be awkward

should we explain that or no no we're

just going to keep moving on

a delivery man with food is roped into a

fantasy scenario he's like trying to

bring food to a room

and when he knocks on the door a bunch

of disembodied arms just

yank him in and uh he gets sucked into

every room yeah he repeatedly tries to

deliver a sandwich

to all of the ladies and nobody will

take it i would definitely come back the

next day with another sandwich

you'd be like uh dude try to give this

to this room now

um joy pecker arrives and she wants to

audition for chuck

who introduces himself here is robbie

rottman

she's performing a bit of shakespeare

while straddling him in a chair

and uh they make out for a while yeah

who is this person just randomly she

wanted to play xavier for the movie

because they're not going to go with

chris because they're not going with

workoff brothers anymore

yeah i guess but i kind of figured at

the point at which they're like yeah

we're

not gonna make the movie with you

anymore they were just gonna play

themselves

yeah that would make sense but that's

not what happened

they're still auditioning actresses for

some reason we see them

loading up equipment at the house that

they're gonna be shooting in

when a guy pulls up and he says he's

from one of the the camera companies

and they haven't been paid in a couple

days which in the real world you'd be

like yeah screw off we'll pay you in

like

six months yeah we're in net 75 here you

guys

it's gonna be a while go do your job the

guy's like i haven't been paid since

monday and it's wednesday

the girl is like the ditzy

cross-stitching girl lori and she's like

oh well

i guess we can take care of it right now

why don't you meet me in my trailer

and so she goes to pay him with sex

again

and then uh the production manager woman

comes out of the

house and is like oh where did lori go

and they said oh she's about to pay the

the camera company

and she's like oh camera company's

already been paid everything's covered

and they're like well they just pulled

up in that van and she's like we don't

use ac dc camera company

and then it turns out these are cops

they're here to pull a sting operation

on the film because the warkhoff

brothers called it in

because they don't want this movie to

get made without their money

somehow everyone's able to post bail

they don't really lose any time or money

well it was a thousand dollars they

definitely lost a bunch of money because

they basically were out of

budget now for the movie but it doesn't

affect

their ability to do the rest of the film

for some reason

because they're paying for everything in

sex yeah but they had to go and make a

deal

because they were out of money oh okay i

guess yeah

that's the difference there so that was

that was uh

workoff's prank on them was to get them

all arrested

um and then she decides that she's gonna

get a prank back on them a revenge prank

and so she tells rottman the the father

rottman rottman senior and lamely that

she's ready to make a deal

with workoff and she tells each of them

individually because they're both vying

for mr workoff's approval

she invites them both to the same hotel

and she's flirting with them in adjacent

hotel rooms

as uh as lamely's in the elevator

approaching the room this weird

bug-eyed shriner guy is annoying him

he seems like he's drunk and stuck in

the elevator for some reason yeah

i've been riding all night night on this

elevator some guy said

it was a party on seven this damn thing

only goes to six xavier tricks the two

of them

rottman and lamely into getting

completely naked and joining her

in a third hotel room between the two

with the lights out and so they think

that they're going to be having sex with

her in this room

in complete darkness but once they

realize that she's actually snuck out of

the room they also notice the doors are

locked

the phone cord is cut all their clothes

are gone and there's just a few dresses

in there

yeah and there's also quite a bit of

amorous

sounds coming from the dark room yes

before

they realize that it's just two men

right but when the lights come on it

looks like

adam west is making out with a lamp and

uh and rottman is just kind of puckering

up for a kiss but

unclear what has happened so far which

one of these two men is pregnant

they eventually without any other

options decide to put on the dresses

attempt to escape the building but they

don't they don't just put on the dress

they go all out they are wearing the

high heels they are wearing like a

feather boa they have full makeup

and wigs they have everything on like it

wasn't even like they tried

to make this i think that was trying i

think that you don't blend in and sneak

out of a building if you're just wearing

a dress with dude hair

and sneakers on i don't know i feel like

you could have adjusted these outfits to

just kind of

casually look like a dude but they went

full-out women

that's what i would have done in their

situation i don't know where they found

all the makeup though

must have left makeup just in case they

wanted to and like a little extra mile

because they did a good job

yeah both of them were were passable

women like

i would have passed them literally if

they were coming down the hallway of my

hotel i would have been like

two unattractive women i'm glad i'm glad

that you wouldn't have gone for that

but uh they as they're moving through

the lobby

for some reason the the hotel management

immediately recognizes them and it's

just like

oh mr lamely and mr rottman what are you

guys doing here

but they're also being followed out of

the hotel by the the bug-eyed shriner

guy

and he's asking like how much for the

two of them for a night

and they get really frustrated with him

and langley

winds up a punch and the guy collapses

before he can hit him but he

throws his punch into a cop's face and

the two of them get arrested

right and then we get a variety headline

announcing that the two of them have

been what fired or something or we're at

least arrested

they're arrested and they don't get to

work anymore yeah they either

are they even in the rest of the film no

they're not no they don't make it this

is the end of them for this whole movie

but also like she couldn't have planned

anything that's latter half like the

extent like i thought her plan was going

to be

they're in this room together they they

turn on the lights and they're naked

you know make it out with each other and

she was gonna have like a camera in

there and she was gonna like blackmail

them

into doing exactly what she wanted for

this movie right but no

her whole plan was to embarrass them on

their way out of the hotel

i mean the arrested thing was just a

coincidence

yeah it was not planned at all and it's

they've also already done the

i set up a camera to get you in trouble

for having sex with someone you're not

supposed to

so it's like you can't use that joke

twice in the movie anyway

it's just weird they get a call from

work off and he wants to offer her a

deal but this is a trick deal

if she can deliver the film in time for

the opening of his new theater

he will give her five million dollars

otherwise he will retain all the film

rights and he can make the movie his own

way

he makes this deal basically because he

doesn't think she can finish the movie

in time

so we get a quick montage of all the

girls deciding five million dollars is a

lot

we don't have to sleep we'll just get

this thing done and so they work crazy

over time to finish the film on schedule

they get a call from the lab saying

we'll deliver the film directly to the

theater for you

but xavier says no we'll pick it up

ourselves because we don't want to risk

anything going wrong

a group of workouts henchmen break into

the lab

the day they're supposed to pick it up

not only is this the day they're

supposed to pick it up it's

they're literally time they're supposed

to they're literally driving it to the

theater

straight from the lab like i feel like i

might have i know it's a short time

period to get this film done i might

have given myself at least

a day for buffer before i had to drop

the film off to be screened

but instead they're picking it up right

then um i honestly don't think the film

was even gonna be ready until six and

the screening is at eight so they were

even like risking a traffic problem

preventing them from making this

deadline

they go inside and as they're walking in

uh lori notices that

people are walking out carrying cases

that have

happy hooker written on them chuck

doesn't notice this

and as they walk into the lab she's

saying to chuck i didn't know that two

movies could have the same name and he's

like i don't i don't think they can

she's like well those guys were carrying

a movie with the same name as horror

movie and they

turn the corner and see everybody tied

up and and

with tape over their mouths and he's

like oh crap that they took our movie we

gotta

go and they don't offer to untie any of

these people they just leave which is

the right choice

yeah yeah yeah five million dollars on

the line they'll understand

so they hop back in the car and start

chasing down these guys that have stolen

the

film and we get a car chase all of a

sudden

technically two car chases i guess

because the bag

they're chasing the bad guys and then

the bad guys are chasing them yeah

somehow the

the car chase flips around and they're

being chased now because the

screenwriter was just like

how do i get them to the theater if

they're in a car chase why would the bad

guys go to

the theater where they're supposed to

keep the film away

and they were like well what if suddenly

in the confusion of a car chase where

there's literally one objective for each

driver

they're accidentally chasing the people

who were chasing them and they lead them

the whole way to the theater

so that's what happens and as they're

driving we notice them

they fly around a corner past the new

beverly cinema in hollywood

and somehow seconds later are skidding

up onto the curb at the lorena theater

on ventura boulevard in sherman oaks

they crash into this stadium seating

that's been set up for the premiere

luckily it's vacated because everybody's

already moved into the theater lori and

chuck are able to grab the film out of

the trunk of the crashed car

and run it into the theater inside the

theater we see mr workoff sitting in the

front row as the trailer for the apple

is playing which is another golden

globus production we'll be

covering later this year then the happy

hooker film plays

as expected on schedule and he is

freaking out about it for

a second and then he realizes oh that

people really like this movie

i guess that's great for me i guess this

prank really turned out in my favor

because i just bought the rights to this

film

and it's doing really well and i'll

probably make my investment back

and then outside he gets interviewed by

the press and he just says yeah i'm

really excited it's going to be a great

movie and everything's going to be

wonderful and

they stop saviera and they say hey are

we going to get a sequel out of this and

she says well

i'd have to write another book maybe

i'll maybe i'll make a movie about my

experiences in hollywood

and then she and chuck wander off into

the into the night

basically on foot just down the street

down ventura boulevard

and that's the end of our film so uh the

the way that we watch this movie is that

it was on youtube

yes as per usual we'd check for closed

captioning because

you know we're old people yeah and uh

can't hear anything and also we have

three sleeping children

we have three sleepy chills we have to

have it so low that you can only hear

the action and none of the difference so

youtube has this handy-dandy feature

where it automates subtitles

when none exists and boy can i tell you

this made this movie so much more

enjoyable than it would have been

otherwise

i kept telling her to stop reading the

subtitles and then i would just hear her

crack up

and then i would look at what it said

like

i think there was one time they said her

name and instead of

saying saviera it just said savvy arab

[Laughter]

there was another time where he he was

like oh

it was the guy looking for the peep

thing and he's like oh my friend told me

to to come here but he

he didn't tell me where to go or

something like that but it said

oh my friend told me to come here but he

died

yeah i was like oh no

poor guy but yeah so that was

that was going on in the background it

made this movie much more entertaining

for jess i think

this film was directed by alan roberts

between

directing lady chatterley's one and two

this was his first happy hooker film

none of the directors came back for

another one the writer here was devin

goldenberg this was

believe it or not his only writing

credit martine beswick

played xavier hollander she was paula

and thunderball and zora

and from russia with love yeah and i

think for russia with love was her first

film

zora is one of the um romani women who

are fighting

for one guy and uh bond

does a favor for the for the camp and

they he gets to decide which one of the

women gets to be with the guy by

sleeping with them

oh okay and he picked zora he picks them

both oh okay

oh so he gets to sleep with both of them

why not very creative

um last year martine beswick was in

house of the gorgon with christopher

neem ah

so that's fun um they're both still

working chris lemon

was robbie rottman that's what he's

credited as robbie rotman

he played martin brew brewbaker in all

three thunder and paradise films and the

tv series

i've never watched any of that no i

don't know all of them star hulk hogan

it's like hulk hogan's speedboat show

slash movies

adam west was lionel lamely uh you know

him as

mayor adam west or possibly batman

he was also principal kent schwinger on

pete and pete yeah um

but most of his credits are bat or

batman or adam west

yeah in various other things he he was a

living caricature

yeah he was in on the joke too which is

why he was so great

he wasn't in a lot of this movie like

he's he's like top-filled obviously

because he's a big name but i was

expecting

a lot more story from him i have a

feeling and i haven't seen the movie but

we watched the trailer that

um uh is it guy hamilton is in uh

this the second film the happy hooker

goes to washington yeah

and i think that uh he probably that's

the guy's name right the

the tan guy that played zoro no uh guy

hamilton george hamilton george hamilton

there you go i was like that doesn't

sound right

yeah that's why i was bugging me i think

guy hamilton is a director

um i think he directed remo williams and

a couple james bond movies if i'm not

mistaken

uh george hamilton probably plays a very

similar character he's like

the straight man who's exasperated by

all of her silliness in the

the second installment the happy hooker

goes to washington but i don't feel like

lamely was exasperated by her at all no

but

he was like falling victim to her

silliness

silliness you mean sexiness

by the time that she tricked you guys

into raping each other

um richard deacon was joseph rottman um

he plays earl lyon and piranha

he's mel cooley on the dick van dyke

show probably is

that's the that's the number one yeah

the thing i know most of him for

um he played six characters on mr ed

five of them were doctors all with

different last names

and he was also in the richard donner

twilight zone episode about a ceo who

automates an entire factory

um i don't i'm not familiar with that

one but no phil silvers was william b

workoff

yay and he's sergeant bilcoe from the

phil silvers show

he looks a lot to me like merkin muffley

from dr strangelove the

peter sellers president character and uh

of the three characters he plays in that

movie

he was also in mad madman mad world

charles greene was

george i forget who george was the

lawyer

the lawyer okay right yeah uh zaviero's

lawyer

um he plays a bartender in jumanji iii

the one that just came out the next

level he's also i like that you refer to

it as jumanji 3.

that's what it is right just like the

next ghostbusters movie is ghostbusters

4 regardless of what

anyone else wants to call it but if

you're a sequel to a reboot i don't

think you could be called

but it wasn't a reason it wasn't a

reboot they did establish that the first

jumanji did exist

the game board from the first movie is

in the second jumanji yes it's not a

reboot

it just didn't have a number in the

title and they they found a treehouse

that said uh

alan parrish had his name on there all

right fair enough um he also plays a

preacher in the

the hbo watchman series that just ended

he plays the u.s senator in dr

sleep so he's still working pretty

regularly susan

kyger played susie she'll be

the blue girl in our next episode of

galaxina

jack perkins was the drunk conventioner

i think this is the the shriner

character

and he'll be back later this year and

herbie goes bananas he also has

an uncredited role as desperado in

blazing saddles

dick miller was the cop yeah the cop

that was

receiving the bribe at the beginning of

the film that's my biggest problem with

this movie it doesn't have enough dick

miller that's true well so

you know this guy gets on screen and i i

wouldn't be able to

you know pull his name out of thin air

but

i obviously recognize him he was

he was famous at the time in this movie

right he's always been famous

i know but i'm just like he's born

famous he's too recognizable to me

for this movie he he's pretty he's in

every pretty much every joe dante movie

like all of them

um yeah gremlins burbs explorers howling

i think all of them or possibly all of

them yeah it's him and robert ricardo

that that make as many appearances as

possible yeah

ricardo actually has two characters and

explorers right uh because he's at the

drive-in

and he's the and he's the voice of

aliens alien

dick miller was also in 30 episodes of

the fame tv series

as lou mackey i didn't watch any of that

he was in that walter pilot the

the radar o'reilly spin-off that didn't

even get picked up

he was also the pawn shop clerk and

terminator

and he was obviously in joe dante's

twilight zone segment

this was weird though the character in

the twilight zone segment is named

walter paisley

and he also plays walter paisley in

chopping mall

ah so i don't know if it's supposed to

be the same guy

after so yeah but it's they probably are

referencing his other but chopping mall

is like a

schlock horror thing but drop the ball

came came before

yeah like it's like they did it well the

twilight zone movie

yeah they're both around like 84 ish

right oh really

when was shopping mall i thought

shopping mall was after twilight zone

yeah you're right exactly 83 but yeah

you're right it came okay

i mean it could be like a changeling

situation they just they're

referencing his previous character from

the movie just to

be fun but either way i thought that was

interesting and now when i watch those

next two things i'm going to try and see

if it's possible that he's the same

character in both of them

he'll also be back later this year in

used cars

we had kim hopkins playing young zaviera

in the flashback that mr rottman is

projecting on the wall in his office

the fictional childhood version of her

this is one of the pompom girls from

hollywood nights one of the ones that

remembered to wear underwear

aaron apolly played raul i'm not sure

who raul was in this

i'm going to assume it's the delivery

guy oh okay

um he plays the pharaoh seti and the

mummy one and two

ian abercrombie was dennis and uh

he plays the wise man in army of

darkness

he was alfred on a bird of prey birds of

prey tv

series in like the early 2000s he's the

great cast

that bird's a prey series it was mia

sarah as harley quinn

uh i pulled it up earlier it was it was

interesting that was like her and him

were the only two names that i feel like

i'd known before oh although aaron paul

i think was in there too i don't

remember who he was

so yeah actually scott deena meyer ian

mccrory mia sarah

i don't know and mia sarah's playing

like i forget the character's name but

it's clearly harley quinn

yeah he's playing harley quinn dr

harriet quinley or something he's also

the voice of palpatine on the clone wars

ian abercrombie and he plays a

psychiatrist in jack frost

ii that's the killer snowman yeah

i think it's funny though that he plays

palpatine when another ian played

palpatine yeah that's true

um and he also plays a character named

jaime in the ice pirates the stewart

raffle film okay

we haven't gotten to yet i hope that's

in the future i believe it's in the

future

and uh lyman ward was the real estate

agent uh we're not going to say what he

was in

no he played mr bueller in ferris

bueller's day off hence the joke richard

made earlier rewinded it was okay

it wasn't that great he also

no back it up it's really worth it

listen to this whole episode again

mr grady in nightmare on all street two

and then we had army archer playing

himself he's himself in a lot of stuff

he's in the first few planet of the apes

movies if you

took out all the sex scenes i think this

movie would only be an hour long

yeah that's probably true yeah i think

it would have been interesting if they'd

cast actors to play any of the

characters

yeah um because it felt like

this was actually her playing herself in

all of her actual

stable of hordes playing themselves

because none of these

none of the people in the whole pleasure

studios

building seemed to have any acting chops

yeah it was mildly musing

on a couple of occasions and that's

about as

good a review as i can give it although

i will admit that it does look

better than happy hooker goes to

washington did from the trailer

which is at least it has like inside

baseball like

movie making jokes and stuff like that

whereas

the politics version of the story is

considerably less entertaining i would

guess

well that's because you're you're inside

hollywood and you're not inside politics

maybe you'd like that one better if you

were a senator

well if i was like i could relate to uh

[ __ ] uh coming to me

for uh i would have liked this movie

more if i was a senator

i would have been like oh man that's

just like the horrors i use

jess up or down uh

so i'm gonna give this a down yeah i'm

gonna

do that also yeah down for me too unless

you're an adam west completist

in which case is he completely in which

case i'm sorry

letterboxed uh it's gonna be pretty low

on my list i think um

i'm gonna put this um

i'm going to put this below nothing

personal

but above don't answer the phone

below nothing personal that's a the sign

of a good film

i'm gonna put this one below privatize

and above effects okay

which is pretty darn close to the bottom

i'm going to put this

below gorp but above nothing personal

that's where that goes for me but i

think that's everything we have for this

one

if you guys have any thoughts you'd like

to share with us we are vintagevideopod

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you can find each of our full movie

rankings for the year we can also be

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vintage video podcast thank you so much

for listening

and i hope you'll join us next time when

we'll be discussing galaxina

which imdb describes like so

just when they think they're about to

get some much needed rest and relaxation

the crew of the police cruiser infinity

is given a new mission

journey to the alien world altar one is

it altar or all

altair altair to find the blue star

the blue star we leave you now with the

trailer for galaxina

once upon a time that hasn't happened

yet

there will be a spaceship called the

infinity

and steering the infinity among the

heavenly bodies

will be the most heavenly body of them

all

called galaxina a dream machine

transistorized and computerized to lead

her space buddies across the farthest

reaches of fantastic adventure

with class the lugian thunder ripple

2001 great year great

galaxina the beautiful galaxina

the untouchable

[Music]

galaxina the invincible

she cleans she cooks

she does windows and more i've adjusted

my temperature

better than a human woman what year is

it

3035. i got 3033. this thing's slow

it's party time on the planets with the

beautiful people of the intergalactic

jet set

[Music]

at least you're not two-faced you

wouldn't have chosen the one you've got

on

attention to the fourth dimension as

they dodge death rays across the

universe

[Music]

good guys bad guys nice aliens

nasty aliens the name's mr spot

garlic cena starring stephen mark

avery schreiber james david hinton

and introducing dorothy r stratton

playboy's playmate of the year as your

favorite gal

galaxina

[Music]

you