we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

looks like i picked the wrong way to

quit sniffing blue light

of my life we enjoy your films

i thought they smelled bad on the

outside

[Music]

welcome to vintage video where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time i'm

patrick o'reilly i'm jesse bayless and

i'm richard wells

and today marks the 40th anniversary of

mad magazine presents

up the academy on june 6 1980 it was

written by tom patchett and jay tarsus

directed by howard stark himself robert

downey senior

and released by warner brothers say it

again and released by warner brothers

the film was shot entirely in selena

kansas

at st john's military school so anything

i thought was los angeles was not

the poster art was done by jack rickard

or ricard

not sure regular cover artist for mad

magazine and occasional poster artist

for films like the original pink panther

film

uptown saturday night starring sidney

poitier holy moses which we'll

discuss later this year and he also did

an unused poster for 1980s

serial which shares a cast member with

this film

rick baker did the makeup for the alfred

e newman mascot that bookends the film

which is really good

it's super creepy but surprisingly

accurate

with the face just a little bit smaller

than a normal face would be in the

middle of this

wide circular head it's kind of it's

like a dick tracy character

yeah there is one guy with a wide face

in there right it kind of reminds me of

when drop dead fred smashes his face in

the refrigerator reminiscent of snl's

charlie brown sketch or that time drop

dead fred got his head stuck in the

refrigerator that's what i have in my

notes here

um that's pretty incredible uh william

gaines longtime publisher of mad

magazine reportedly paid warner brothers

thirty thousand dollars to cut the

alfred e newman bookends and the word

mad magazine presents out of the title

for all the cable and tv rebroadcasts

they were only added back for the dvd

release after time warner bought warner

brothers

in keeping with tradition mad magazine

even published a parody of their own

movie retitled

mad magazine resents throw up the

academy

and it's actually less funny than this

movie somehow i don't think this was

a parody of the movie itself i mean i

guess

no no i'm saying mad magazine published

a parody of this

in their magazine yeah no no i

understand what you're saying

okay i i guess it is a parody but

i guess i think that parodies are meant

to be like

funny and homagi and this was just plain

up

we didn't like this and we are trying to

inspire

but it was definitely homaging the film

it was

referencing scenes from the film and a

parody yeah that's 100 a parody all

right

fine but um after the failure of the

film to connect with audiences

madd did not reattempt live-action

material until mad tv premiered 15 years

later

which i think was much better the

original cast of mad tv was super funny

there was actually really decent people

on there

star ron liebman had the good sense to

demand his name be removed from the film

after a very early screening

this was rated r for the same reason as

galaxina was

which was to trick people into thinking

there was boobs in it

when there wasn't in the movie x-men

apocalypse in 2016 a theater marquee can

be seen screening this film

despite the fact that apocalypse takes

place in 1983

and no theater in their right mind would

be playing this film a month after it

came out

this is because the actor who played

oliver in up the academy was a producer

on apocalypse and the former president

of 20th century fox

the film marks the first feature film

appearance of karate kid ralph macchio

in a very early uncredited role for iron

man himself robert downey jr

son of the film's director according to

a tweet from mad magazine's official

verified account on march 2nd of 2018 an

a-list writer was actively painting a

sequel to the film

wait what i hope that doesn't actually

happen

that's got to be that's going to be a

joke right it was on march

2nd so it seems early for that kind of a

joke

but yeah i don't really understand mad

magazine jokes anyway so

i guess that's true uh we start the film

with chuch's dad dressing him down from

behind a desk of a home office

he seems a mafioso type and chooch is a

disappointing son

we get a weird jump cut mid-sentence

from this character

i don't know if it's just because they

couldn't get one solid line out of the

actor at a time

but chooch doesn't want to follow in the

family business

and his father calls in goons to drag

him to the airport and take him to

military school

we cut to ike eisenhower

he's with his father and his father is

telling him to say goodbye to his

stepmother

who he seems to have a romantic

relationship with

she asks where the weed is and he tells

her it's in her diaphragm case

then we cut to somewhere in the middle

east where hash

is saying goodbye to a woman he thinks

is his mother but his father quickly

explains that's not her

and he says the veils confuse him

yeah these are all supposed to be jokes

just just in case oh are they it wasn't

clear

they're supposed to be oh okay he is

being sent away for basically just being

a petty thief

he steals things constantly from people

including a watch from his father right

here in this scene

uh he has been given a million dollar

spending money on this trip

now we're back in america where oliver

and his girlfriend are being lectured by

oliver's father

but the subtitles are still in arabic

and then the word oops appears next to

them but whatever it said in arabic is

never translated into english

law it seems they're discussing a

pregnancy

and oliver's father is a politician

specifically an

anti-abortion politician in an election

season

and he assures them that they will do

the right thing we cut to the abortion

clinic where

girlfriend candy is being walked in by

her mother and waves goodbye to oliver's

plane leaving for military school

this movie is hilarious get abortion

like a good abortion scene to get your

i don't know title sequence with toy

soldiers tipping over

domino style to blow ups kicking up a

fuss

[Music]

which might have been just a mediocre

song if it had played once or twice but

because it's used

about a hundred times as every scene

transition

it becomes very quickly super annoying

the members of the academy

are in officers uniforms and an older

guy dressed like a general

specifically general patton i guess is

standing in front of a giant american

flag on the wall

and he gives a patent-style motivational

speech in front of the

flag before farting because farts are

funny

and we cut to rifle practice a couple of

kids flip over backwards from the recoil

because that i think that's a joke too

i'm not sure what's supposed to be jokes

and what's just

a thing that happens in military school

the kids all get their haircuts but get

this

the guy giving the haircuts he's gay i

mean he's gay

excuse me he's blind oh and he's doing

it bad job

he's not doing a good job yeah he's

doing a bad job because he's

he's blind and he's got his cane

over the kids faces and stuff it's

really really like the opposite of what

you think that somebody who gives

haircuts would be like

you'd think he would actually be really

good at cutting hair because he feels it

more

yeah you would think that but that's not

what happens

he's actually bad at it but also don't

we then cut to

all of the kids in the barracks and none

of them have had their haircuts since we

saw them

we only see one kid get a haircut and

it's just like one

patch just shaved off of the side of the

front of his head

and then he gets out of the chair and

that's it and we never see that kid

again

because he just he just got paid hey we

hit one chunk of his hair

we need a kid who's willing to get this

done and then not be in the rest of the

movie

chooch is measured for his uniform

and uh he grabs a pair of scissors

to threaten this character sison or

cison i don't know he's credited as

s-i-s-s-o-n so i'm going to say c-sone

uh when his hands get too close to

choo-choo's gooch

and then he like looks up and sets down

the

all the measuring equipment and like oh

i don't want to get stabbed with

scissors

it's funny because the guy doing this is

is their uh stereotype gay guy

hash steals candles from the academy

church

and he stores them in a chest by his

bunk i don't know why he gives a [ __ ]

about candles

or candle holders yeah um perhaps he

plans to murder someone with them

yeah maybe i don't think it's about the

objects for him he seems to just get a

krill out of stealing yeah

um either way there didn't seem to be

much of a challenge to taking these he

just kind of picked them up

and walked away with them but the boys

all meet each other

in their room there's there's three bunk

beds even though there's only four kids

they should only need two bunk beds

but we need one for later so there's

three

chooch is a dick um he just shouts at

everybody and he won't shake anybody's

hands

liceman enters with like an icy breeze

like they they make a big deal about how

there's literally like the sound of wind

plays every time he walks in i didn't

even notice that yeah and it happens

like nine

times over the course of the movie so i

could tell you how much this movie kept

my attention and that was

almost not at all okay well every time

he's about to enter the room you hear

the sound of

wind and then all the guys start

shivering and holding themselves like

it's cold

and then he walks in because the joke is

that he's cold

i don't get it i don't know why he makes

cold

he makes cold so he has like some

superpower that they don't delve into

in this first installment maybe they

were going to reveal it will come in the

remaining

sequels or maybe his character was

originally called iceman but he's called

lice man now

so it's like they parodied it before

they wrote it

he says that he came to the academy at

age seven and he didn't have any friends

when he's trying to convince them that

it's very important to have friends and

he wants to be their friend

he asks whose bed he's standing near and

oliver says it's mine

and then he says say it again and he

says mine sir he's like say it again

yeah he say it again yeah he doesn't say

it again he says

please say that once more say it again

mind sir

say it again and then uh so that's a

funny joke because he makes him say it a

bunch of times

and then he says it's chilly in here sir

because he's cold because the guy is

cold and he makes it cold

he says i'm sorry say it again it's just

a little chilly in here sir

say it again it's just a little chilly

in here sir

so that's funny because he's then they

say that a few times

because of rule of threes repetition is

just funny

that's the secret there's no context

required you could just repeat yourself

three times and the third time it's

funny

on his way out he finds hash's stolen

candlesticks and he says the next time i

catch you stealing i'm gonna rip your

balls off

uh he walks out of the building past a

dog wearing a uniform that says

patty on it and he says doing the best i

can sergeant patty

oliver writes a letter to his girlfriend

candy if he screws up the election for

his father he's not going to get the car

that he wants so they have to be very

careful

leisman gives him the letter later what

gives him the response the

response from candy uh it's all torn

open because liceman read it

and he says oh don't try and sneak out

of here and he's like well i'm not gonna

sneak out my girlfriend's like

completely across the country he's like

nope she's right over there at that

other

girl's military school so don't go over

there

um the rest of the letter was just

lovey-dovey [ __ ] and he's like sorry

sir i'll

tell her not to write that stuff he's

like it's your letter i don't care

uh we cut to the students attending a

munitions class with miss bliss

as portrayed by barbara bach doing agent

xxx

yes and she's doing some unidentifiable

accent i think it was her

impression of a southern accent yeah but

it's awful

it's so weird that uh

barbara like a little side tangent about

barbara bach uh

she claimed that she couldn't get a lot

of roles

because everyone thought she was

european yeah it sounds like a european

person doing a southern accent yeah but

i guess

like she had a problem she was like

raised in america yeah she was born in

queens

yeah but apparently like because she can

do accents really well because of her

mix she can't no no like no like

like european accents okay uh everyone

just assumed that that's what she was

and so she didn't get a lot of roles and

i feel like

they had her for this role they're like

you're not talking right when they

probably heard her talking

normally i don't know what happened they

had her try to do something weird

whatever they asked her to do they

should have asked her to do something

different immediately after or just talk

in her normal voice because it couldn't

possibly have been as weird as what

she's doing here

maybe she was only good at european

accents and so when they she can't even

talk

so when they asked her to do southern it

sounded

like a weird combination of european and

southern it sounds like a swedish person

doing a southern accent it does that's

what it sounds like to me

in this course you'll become familiar

with a number of basic field weapons

such as the one i'm holding the m1

recall-less

semi-automatic rifle used by the u.s

army infantry or even better why can't

she just be

someone from europe yeah there's no why

why does she have to be southern

nothing about this movie makes sense

yeah so the kids are all just sitting

here watching this

presentation of uh she's all the weapons

are dicks and she's rubbing them and

all the kids ejaculate in their pants

watching the lecture now back in the

room

ike is lip-synching to a radio broadcast

of his father's televangelism

uh in the foreground hash is literally

bowing to a pyramid of five cans of

castrol gtx motor oil

he appears to also drink some later on

like he's got like

he's passed out with like a can of it in

his arms that checks out

uh chooch turns off the radio i don't

know if we mentioned because he's

arab oh yes uh he's arab the guy who

couldn't tell his

his mom's apart because they're all

wearing veils his arab and ike here

is an african-american child and his

father

is a televangelist chooch was trying to

do homework or something

and he's done listening to this radio so

he walks over and turns it off

and oliver's like that's ike's father

but nobody in this room wants to hear

this televangelist broadcast and ike

already hasn't memorized like

nobody cares oliver tells ike he's

looking for the girls academy on a map

so finally we're getting into a plot

right

sort of well i mean it's it's an

actionable thing so far they have just

been going to school

which is not like an action of a story

it's just something that you do yes uh

see someone pops his head in

and says hey guys i'm gonna do the

laundry can you all give me your shorts

and they're like

oh we're good we're gonna do our laundry

tomorrow and he's like okay

darn it i don't get to see your balls

and then cold wind sounds again and

everyone's shivering very exaggeratedly

like we get a separate insert for each

kid shivering because

they really want to hammer at home

what's happening here and i don't get it

still

everything about this movie falls short

he doesn't even come in he's just

walking past the room

why not just go the extra step to build

like this set in like a refrigerated

room

so you can see their breath or just just

just for these like

a few inserts just to make it seem like

oh yeah it really was you wanted them to

put more effort into this yeah i wanted

it but if you're gonna do that why not

put the extra effort in to make it into

an actual

joke yeah or like yeah have someone take

another whack at the

script does mad magazine know any comedy

writers maybe they could

but seriously like i've never found the

magazine funny either

well so from that little snippet that

you you shared with us which was the mad

magazine parody

of this movie that's what that's what

all of their movie parody

strips are like but well that's what the

whole magazine isn't about that

though but it seemed like they

didn't uh they didn't write this movie

they acquired the rights to this movie

and then just put their name on no

oh they wrote it they were they were

paid by warner brothers to write this

film

oh all right then they did a poor job

yeah

or they did a rewrite on what warner

brothers gave them but either way

it's a film that they put their stamp of

approval on and put in theaters

they took their stamp off later but at

some point they were

satisfied with their name being on this

and that's something that's on that took

their stamp

off later just the guy who runs mad

magazine paid thirty thousand dollars to

take

the words mad magazine presents out of

the title and cut out all the footage of

alfred newman from the movie

because he didn't want to look like he

approved the movie even though he

already put it in theaters like that

okay but that's not how it works if if

you already said it was good enough then

it's too late now we hear the narration

of ike writing a letter to his father

saying oh i heard your broadcast it

sounded great also i met your friend the

devil his name's leisman and you're

right he is white

like white on lice because people always

say that the devil

is freezing cold is it an exorcist joke

that the rum is cold when he comes in

is he literally supposed to be a demon

no i don't think so i think that it's

i think that it's supposed to be a play

on his name being lice which sounds like

ice and it just falls flat every time

i wouldn't even think of that well it's

terrible but

the isn't the joke lice though i thought

the

lice was the joke of his name because

lice are gross

i don't know okay i'm gonna have to

write to these people

apparently he already has a new stepmom

for some reason it doesn't

doesn't seem to factor into the plot at

all he lies to his father about his

soccer performance

because the coach thinks he's bad at

soccer but he says that the coach

thought he was good at soccer so that's

funny because it's different than what

happened

lies are funny automatically after a

fight on the soccer field the coach

throws a ball at one of the kids

and as he's storming away he exclaims

and for this i gave up

that's the joke yeah that's the joke he

says there

because the coaches i should sorry i

messed that up the coach is black

now the joke is hilarious right yeah

it's a black coach says

and for this i gave up being white

hinting at some sort of

secret scientific experiment wherein you

could trade

your coachdom for a new skin color

and so he gave up being white so that he

could coach the soccer team and now he's

black

horns blast and liceman issues

a challenge the faculty and the students

will participate in

a face-off soccer game in 29 days for

parents weekend

we get quick shots of the kids listening

to this speech we see robert downey jr

yawning

probably because this movie's boring

[Laughter]

chooch scores a goal when no one is

paying attention and everyone acts like

that's impressive

even leisman is like going like nodding

his head in approval

yeah like yeah this is gonna be a good

game because they they got

what i i have to admit i thought that

this movie was going to

pull some kind of switcheroo where

liceman is just being really hard on

them because he wants them to be better

like

better people like that movie about

drumming with jk simmons

um kind of but i was thinking more like

the opposite of gorp

where where they have the the counselor

who they think is their friend

and is secretly like screwing them over

but this is the other way around yeah

that was gonna be like he's really hard

on them because he

he knows that they can do better and

when he what

hammered that weird theory home given

nothing else than that of the movie

is when he's like nodding in approval of

chooch like playing the game playing on

the team and scoring goals like

okay maybe this movie has something

maybe there's going to be a core to this

movie maybe there's going to be some

kind of heart

at the center of this garbage yeah so

then chooch goes and he gets

the ball out of the goal that he just

kicked into and then he just kicks it at

leisman

who catches it and then he kicks it back

but it's not like a joke about how he

can't kick it back

far because he kicks it far he just

kicks it in a different direction

he kicks it over all the rest of the

kids heads well the teachers always

win so i would imagine that they're

actually good

right so i don't know why they had him

kick it back other than

so that hash could go grab it and then

kick

it back at leisman again and it hits

leisman as he's walking away

oh you know what the problem was they

should have done it a third time

oh if they did it three times i would i

would still be laughing

so the ball hits him in the head and he

says hash get over here

and he says i couldn't tell who did it

sir i only know it wasn't me

and uh liceman tells him to take off his

copa

which is like the thing on his head and

he says well no i have religious

exemption

you can't you can't ask me to take this

off my my religion expressly forbids it

i'm not clear what religion this guy is

supposed to be

would you guess that if he's a middle

eastern character that he's supposed to

be

a muslim because that would have been my

guess for this character

i mean i miss i'm assuming that that's

what we're

we're supposed to be we are getting very

little context clues

from the movie about what he's supposed

to be supposed to be he's from saudi

arabia

yeah he has an account with the bank the

first bank of arabia but specifically in

this particular instance

i think he's joking right but i'm just

asking

he doesn't he doesn't have any religious

reasons why he's supposed to

yes correct but moving forward in the

story it becomes relevant whether or not

this character is supposed to be muslim

or not i'm also really confused by him

because he sounds like he's speaking

with an

english accent and maybe the actor just

couldn't

do a different accent or is he supposed

to be

an english arab i don't understand this

character i

i feel what he's doing and i actually

kind of feel he's doing it pretty well

is the uh a lot of arabs are educated in

england uh or they have special tutors

brought in that teach them english and

they

it kind of affects their manner of

speaking english

okay um if you ever listen to like like

uh like alexander siddig

uh speak uh you play dr bashir

on uh ds9 it's just a very unique kind

of accent and i feel

he's actually maybe maybe i'm wrong but

i feel like he's doing actually a pretty

decent job with it sure um but

uh i'm not i'm not

it's like i feel like i'm uh uh

saying that this is okay what he's doing

for this person

i don't remember what the actual

nationality of the actor is either and i

i wouldn't say that this is like a

situation where that's

problematic especially for 1980 i think

that

you know this is the least of the

offensive things that he does in this

movie is his accent

but um the the actor's name is

tommy cetera yeah and it says he was

born in brooklyn

yeah but he's being told to take this

copa off

by liceman and uh he won't do it so

liceman rips it off his head

because he says he stands out like a

turd and a punch bowl

and when he takes it off he spills a

bunch of stolen objects including

liceman's own watch

and he says what did i tell you i was

going to do if i caught you stealing

again

and he says you said you'd rip my balls

off and he says that's right now leave

and so he leaves instead of having his

balls ripped off

we see the kids in the bathroom they're

being forced to clean the bathrooms

it's hash and oliver are here cleaning

the bathrooms and hash says hey

oliver you can use one of my cars to get

over to that girl school if you want

then we have a cold breeze sound effect

and leisman walks in

and he tells oliver to leave and he sits

down

and he tells hash that he could offer

him a reward in exchange for selling out

his friends if they're planning anything

and he says well what what would be the

reward and he says well you wouldn't

have to do this kind of crap anymore so

the reward is just an absence of

punishment

back in the room rodney ververgaard

arrives

this is the least funny kid of the five

the kids i've described already are

funnier than rodney ververgaard

he was kicked out of a school called

handleman for burning it down

or part of it and he laughs a lot

well i don't think that this backstory

is true though

right but this is what we this is what

we hear now yeah

spoiler alert yeah like i'm so sorry i

spoiled up the academy for you all yes

i loved this movie until you did that

i thought this was greg grungberg at

first i i thought the kid looked really

familiar but he's not in much and i'm

thankful for that

uh he asks chooch if he wets the bed

because he's gonna be sharing a bunk bed

with chooch and chooch says that he

usually pees off the side

which is just a funny joke already and

then rodney says well i do it sometimes

i i pee in the bed sometimes and i don't

know if that's a joke

or if it's set up for what's said next

uh eisenhower says

you're putting me on aren't you a little

old to pee the bed

and then he walks across the room and

stands next to him on the bunk bed and

like rests his hands on rodney's arm

while they continue the conversation

about

how rodney pees the bed and then rodney

says

i can't help it i'm emotionally

disturbed

and i don't know if that's like a

character study or a joke

but he keeps laughing like an idiot for

the whole scene

and he can't even like decide what the

laugh is like he keeps changing it

it just keeps happening the next day the

guys are all eating breakfast in

bizarre unison they share this plan that

they're going to jump the wall with

rodney

and leisman shows up and he's like who

who is this why is there another kid

here

and uh and he says i'm rodney

ververgaard i'm i'm here from handleman

he's like oh you're the firebug huh

and he looks over his paperwork and he's

like all right this all seems right why

are you wearing those weird glasses

and he says oh cause mine caught fire in

a weird accident

and he's like okay well you got to wear

normal glasses because you stand out

like a turd in a punch bowl

so that that joke was funny before we

said it again so now it's funnier

um if we repeat it a third time oh my

god

if this comes back you guys are gonna

die

chooch tells them that they're gonna get

caught uh it's not a it's none of my

business but you guys are gonna get

caught if you try and get out of here

so that night they head off to the girls

school

they first they have to cross the barbed

wire that's wrapped around their own

school

and so rodney burns it

yep he he burns it

he burns it he uses a lighter to burn

the barb's wire

until it breaks because you know barbed

wire is made of like

cotton fibers right he burns it

and then they crawl along the floor much

lower than the wire even was

indicating they could have done this

without even burning the metal

with a simple lighter also there's a

guard tower

and you would think that they would see

a light source

right in the dark like a lighter

melting its way through barbed wire

right

which i estimate would take probably an

hour sure yeah and i'm sure there was

enough butane in this lighter

to do that for an hour they go to a

house

that hash bought somehow and they find a

car in the garage that hashbot somehow

that

that he bought and paid someone to park

in this house uh

with like a half tank of gas for some

reason then we get this other joke

how can an arab run out of gas i get it

because arabs uh

is a word that people use to describe

people from

oil-producing countries the oil is then

processed into gasoline for vehicles

so that's funny and then there are three

employees at this gas station despite it

being a self-service place

there's like three guys in uniform

sitting outside the gas station right

even though they don't do anything

outside the gas station

uh ike asks if you can go to the

bathroom and they say go in the woods

boy

because they're all racist hicks um hash

tries to pay with his bank of arabia

credit card but the guy won't take it

because he doesn't know what the bank of

arabia

is i think that's how he says it bank of

arabia

what the hell is this um so hash just

drives away without paying for the gas

because you pay after

this is back in the heyday of gas

purchasing when you

pay after i miss it uh this guy screwed

it up for the rest of us

so he drives away but then he remembers

that ike is still peeing in the woods so

he loops back around

and as they're passing ike ike makes the

decision

you pointed this out chess he jumps on

the hood

of the car to get in as they drive past

but this is a convertible it's a

convertible he could have very easily

just jumped in the back seat but instead

he jumps on the hood

yes he made a very specific decision to

jump on the hood of the car

and then as they're driving away he

flips over the windshield into the back

and then he says i always wondered what

they looked like without their sheets on

like he didn't know that

the people in the kkk were just white

guys

um which you didn't i had to explain

that joke yeah because i was looking

away from the screen and i was like is

he talking about did the coppa come off

again or something what is he talking

about without the sheets and then i was

like oh

okay okay case got it they crash

full speed into a ditch outside the girl

school and as a result oliver is

catapulted from the back seat over the

fence

and the gas station people are still

chasing them right and

ike who is also in the back seat is not

catapulted at all he stays in the car

he's fine

oliver poses as a tree moving across the

yard as a group of girls is marched

through the grass at night

by robert downey jr's sister actually uh

she's the one shouting at them

to march oliver throws a rock through a

window

i i think you're supposed to use a

pebble i don't know if it's a joke that

he broke the window i mean or if he

doesn't care

i i called it before he threw it he's

like he's just gonna break a window

right because that would be the funny

thing to do in this situation when

you're

just supposed to tap it yeah then uh

then he says to the girl who sticks her

head out the window can you tell me

where i can find candy and she says

try the vending machine in the lobby

because

she's hilarious and candy can hear him

talking with this girl and she says

oliver is that you

and he says lower a rope and she says i

don't

i don't have a rope and he says okay i'm

gonna climb up and she says okay wait

i'll brush my hair what does that mean

yeah wait i'll brush my hair is this a

rapunzel situation

or are you literally just telling him

not to climb up until you've brushed or

is this like

i have to powder my nose but why tell

him to wait it's going to take him at

least five minutes to get up the side of

this building right

how long does it take to brush your hair

so while he's climbing along the side of

this building we get a montage

of all the things that are going inside

all the rooms he's looking into

as he's crawling across including a

woman who is shaving

but using a clock as a mirror

okay i have to go back and check that oh

my goodness it was a clock

oh like i i i will i will like a pocket

watch

no it's like a full clock

and i was like what what is this

see because i didn't think there were

even any attempts at jokes in this but i

guess i missed that

because it bothered me that as he's

going by there's just people doing

things that people would do

in a military academy but i assumed that

the joke here

was that she was shaving her face

and oh well the school is called butch

or whatever so here here's yes i see

there's a watch you can see the hands

on it and it's it's a it's

like squared yeah it's an octagonal it's

a clock

okay so she's using the reflection of

the clock to shave by though

right but why not just a mirror

they didn't have a mirror that day but

here's a better question why aren't

there

isn't that a mirror right around the

background why aren't there boobs in any

of these rooms

because these are underage girls then

get overage girls

it's a rated r movie it's a rated r

movie and he's climbing past the windows

of a girls school at night and we're

looking at girls just fighting

like they're practicing for a military

academy they didn't want to be

cliche they didn't no

that's why you have a woman shaving her

face with an electric razor

this movie is rated r i don't think

there's even

is there even an f-bomb in this movie

why is this movie rated r

there must have been an f-bomb or two

anyway he gets in and he starts to kiss

candy

and very quickly they're having sex but

he realizes he left his wallet in the

car

so he has sex without the condoms that

he brought

and uh as he comes he says there goes my

father's election

which is that's hilarious

because he's implying he's going to have

another abortion right but

his father already made this girl get an

abortion so how is his

how is it going to get out that she got

the second abortion but not the first

abortion

how does he know she's pregnant already

or maybe the implication is that

she is not going to have an abortion

this time

okay and for some reason yeah and then

he would have a baby out of wedlock

yeah but that's in nine months if they

don't get married i don't know palin got

elected

oh wow they're picking me up in one

minute he notices

oh wow they're picking me up in one

minute and he leans out the window when

two women with dogs are doing the rounds

start barking at him and he ducks back

in

and he leaves her room just as her

roommate enters and we stay in the room

with her and the roommate

and the roommate sits down on the bed

all covered in dirt and says

i worked my nuts off and i'm one tired

soldier

this was a a joke maybe i i don't know

what this was supposed to be

but it was like i had a moment of like

genuine

compassion for this girl who looked like

he was just really tired

yeah there's there's nothing funny about

anything she said

and it just seems like they accidentally

left an extra line in the scene oliver

finds the women with dogs again at the

stairwell as he's trying to escape

and uh he turns and runs away again but

comes head to head with the girl whose

window he broke

and then he ends up jumping over the uh

over the railing of these stairs past

the women with dogs

hash swerves past the school to pick him

up just as he's jumping over the fence

again

still being pursued by the gas station

people

there's a point in which oliver is like

looking out and sees them just like

chasing each other in circles in the

parking lot

yeah because that's going on yeah

so he jumps uh he jumps into the car and

hash drives away

and the hicks accidentally crashed

through the fence

and then their car breaks down so they

get out of the car

angry so angry in fact that they just

pushed the doors off of the side of the

truck as they're getting out of it

i don't know if that's a joke or their

car is just bad

um but the women with the dogs are there

and they're

mid werewolf transformation they're just

growling and swinging blades this

doesn't make any sense

this is the most bizarre part of the

movie and then he just cuts the blank

with them screaming

yeah so you're like did did they kill

them i think they murdered these guys

but it's also like the most half-assed

performance

yes they are just like growling and

swinging their arms very mildly like

they're stabbing in the air

and it's not even like it's a parody of

something that exists in movies or an

exaggeration of something that anyone's

ever done it's just

two women growling like dogs and

swinging knives around

the kids drive past a trailer on the

side of the road and as they're making

the hilarious joke that

anybody can get laid in a whorehouse

we hear a loud fart come from the

trailer

and then the general guy is thrown out

onto the street by two choking

prostitutes because

the joke is then that he can't get laid

in a whorehouse cause he farted

they get back to the garage to park the

car and they pull all the way in very

slowly

before they notice that standing right

in front of them in the middle of the

headlights is leisman

and then they hit him they say oh no

and he says don't you mean

but he says it like that don't you mean

oh no sir

as they are driving through him he's

still saying the line when they hit him

and drive through the wall and it

doesn't sound like he got hit at all at

first

i was sure that they didn't hit him

except we get one shot of him laying

across the hood with a hand on the

windshield

and they just keep driving with him on

the front of the car

and then we just cut to him giving them

a lecture in his bungalow

and they're all shivering because of

that shitty running gag i don't get

and liceman reveals that he has pictures

of oliver and candy having sex

i guess he was like up at the window

there while they were doing that no

because all of these pictures

are like taken with a flashlight pointed

at them in the darkness in the darkness

and

bedside yeah these pictures came from

nowhere

yes and so they asked him where they

came from

and he says you mean did you mean to say

sir and then they say

sir and then he says i'm not going to

tell you he's not going to tell them

in exchange for not sharing the pictures

liceman wants a shoe shine

and to have sex with oliver's girlfriend

it's a reasonable request that's all

he's asking

to have sex with a child and clean shoes

uh the kids later realized that liceman

knows a lot about their plans somehow

and oliver guesses for no reason that

he may know a lot but liceman for sure

doesn't know who played second base for

some baseball team

at some time and some season and then

the joke here

get this liceman's outside and he just

shouts the player's name from the

hallway

so he knew the name of that baseball

player right um

this joke would make no sense if liceman

wasn't around and oliver just said that

it would be really weird if oliver said

that

so the everything but the punch line

makes no sense because we know that

oliver is all about

sports statistics right because that's

been established

back in miss bliss's class ike tells

rodney that

chooch is the stooly but rodney's not

listening because he is ogling the

teacher

and he says could you keep it down like

some of us are trying to come

that's why it's rated r oh there you go

that's it that's it that hilarious joke

was worth it

was worth keeping everyone who would

think this movie was funny out of the

theater

new plan hash is going to fake an injury

during the soccer game so they can get

away from the game for a minute steal

the pictures

back from the bungalow they pretend near

chooch that they aren't going to bother

stealing the pictures because he

is the stooly in the middle of the night

though

chooch catches rodney sneaking out of

the bunk bedroom

chooch stops for a second to listen to a

door where he can hear sasson

tucking a kid in for no reason we need

another gay joke let's put it right here

he continues following rodney to a

meeting with leisman

and he's recording it they're they're

standing in the middle of this row of

hanging dummies

for like they're stabbing dummies i

guess and uh

liceman thinks he hears something and he

stands up and he just stabs the dummy

next to chooch a bunch

uh but chooch is not a dummy so he's

worried that he might get stabbed in

place of a dummy

even though sorry what are stabbing

dummies just dummies that you stab

you you used to practice like with a

bayonet

at the end of your gun oh okay the next

morning the kids are all sitting down

to eat some pig balls even the muslim

kid

feel like you're not supposed to eat pig

right

but he was he the one that was super

into it one of them was super into it

yeah

he was happy it was him he had like a

giant pile so they were trying to get

mustard and just scarfing them down i

think that they were trying to make a

people in the middle east eat weird

things joke and they forgot that the one

weird thing that they don't eat is any

part of a pig

yeah but rodney is grossed out by this

meal

and he leaves long enough for chooch to

play the recording of him making a deal

with leisman

so they decide they're going to scrap

the previous plane and make a new plan

and leave rodney out of it

as we get closer to the plan coming to

fruition rodney's getting more and more

nervous because all he knows about the

new plan

is that he has to start a fight with

liceman and get punched

get knocked out so uh the dance starts

there's a dance with the girls school

invited

and uh ike is talking to oliver there

and he says does candy know what to do

and he says yeah she knows the whole

plan and he says wow she's so pretty

she she stands out like a turd and a

punch bowl that's three times so this is

by now laughing out loud yeah very funny

if only there was some kind of crescendo

some kind of way of making this joke

really pay off for the movie yes

in his cabin leisman suddenly notices

a dog sergeant patty

despite the door not having opened the

dog has just arrived

and he says oh what's that dog you want

to have sex

and then he feeds the dog a condom and

then the dog leaves

through a closed door okay i must have

totally zoned out at this part i don't

remember any of this that sounds

horrible

yeah he gives the dog a condom and a

wrapper just tucks it in the dog's mouth

and the dog you know bites it and then

turns around and walks away like the dog

is going to use the condom

but the door never opens so the dog i

don't know how they don't know

the problem that you have with the scene

is the door not opening

well he just turns around like oh dog

good to see you dog

here eat a condom dog bye dog

never opens a door is there a doggy door

we don't see one

there's not one in the the only door

that we know of to this bungalow

oh man this next bit is so great so

there's this group

this acapella group called the landmines

and they come out and they sing bad on

[Music]

purpose

so we get oh my god there's so many

great inserts for this

so uh everyone leaves it doesn't like

the music except for leisman

he likes it outside we see barbara bach

and she

slurs her way through more weird

dialogue you can hand me that john

what's your name the womb behind your

ear she means joint but

in the south they say jaunt uh

we we get this insert of the punch bowl

right and then something

something breaks him but you can't tell

what something in the punch bowl broke

because the music was bad

we see a plate of cookies or or some

sort of a baked good

and one of them explodes like with a

gunshot sound like a ricocheting bullet

sound

we we see a woman uh listening to the

music and her glasses break

via a jump cut that repositions all of

the background characters

and don't forget the woman's shoes oh my

god i could not

i could not leave out a lady's shoes

fall off

so we continue the inserts here uh

stained glass is falling out of the

frames

buildings in stock footage are

collapsing

and then the entire movie collapses uh

literally the frame

like a shot of the band performing

breaks into shards and falls out of

frame leaving just

blackness like the movie shattered

rodney tells leisman that he doesn't

know the plan

beyond the fact that they're supposed to

get in a fight with each other

and uh then the the only legitimately

funny joke shows up

leisman flirts with a woman from the

other school

and uh his pickup line is you like it

when a gentleman ties you up

and she says what and he says you know

with rope and

she turns around and walks away from him

and he sits down next to another girl

and he says tickle your ass with a

feather

what

i said uh it's particularly nasty

weather

that we're having oh yes it is

major

[Music]

so how about it then they uh like to

have your ass tickle with a feather

she just starts laughing in his face um

then we suddenly get that crescendo you

were asking for

yeah here it is the punch bowl has a

turd in it

a real turd someone put a turret in

there

i don't know which one of these kids

just dropped trow and shard it into this

bowl but that happened

and it doesn't play into anything it's

not part of the plan

uh it doesn't affect anything after this

shot they're worried that they can't

find

ike because ike plays a very important

part in this plan

ike is out smoking with barbara bach

and they're really worried because they

can't find him and someone's about to

read

who the king and queen are of this dance

candy flirts with liceman and he says to

her tickle yass with a feather

and she says maybe later and he's like

oh

it finally worked on someone the general

gives a speech and he farts again

so that's three times i think now so

that's officially funnier

candy and leisman head back to his room

and the kids hang rodney up on a hook in

a closet

candy changes into a genie outfit

because

they're trying to get him into uh an

uncomfortable photograph

i think we should call it a belly

dancing outfit sure

bellies belly dancers and genius are the

same allah barbara eden

and i shave of genie um

rodney escapes the closet uh when candy

tricks

liceman into going into the bathroom and

changing into an embarrassing

uh like women's negligee outfit that she

brought with her

she opens the door so that the boys can

come in and hide behind a couch

so when he comes out he's wearing this

dress

and she's wearing her jeannie costume

her her belly dancing

outfit and the boys hit record on the

same tape recorder that chuchi used

earlier

and candy says come over here and whip

me and gives him a whip

he stands up over the top of her and he

pulls this thing back like he's gonna

whip her real hard and just

lucky timing the guys come out and take

a picture before he swings it down and

literally

just whips this girl rodney bursts in

here

too late to say hey uncle liceman or

uncle vaughn the first name i think that

they have another plan

and they're gonna get you uh for some

reason though

uh liceman lets them leave with the

pictures they just took

yeah uh that makes no sense well

what is it gonna do chase after them in

this funny outfit or not even let them

leave the room he has a henchman in the

doorway a big fat henchman that's

blocking the whole doorway i suppose it

might have accidentally been too funny

to watch him run around the field

yeah outfit yeah that might have had a

combination guess what guess what about

happens

after they leave this scene in this room

the next scene is

they're back in this room yeah cut to

uh sometime later uh maybe he just gave

them a chance to

take the pictures they took in a safe

place

and then come back so they could make a

deal the deal that they end up making

is whoever wins the soccer game on

parents day

gets all the pictures and why they

already had an

agreement to not publish the pictures

like it's like we got pictures of you

you got pictures of me

that's the end of the game yeah because

it's mutually assured

but for some reason they decided to

double down yeah i guess

but he agrees during the national anthem

before the game which is sung by

csun hash is invited to fire a rocket

during the rocket's red glare portion of

the anthem

but he fires a real rocket and

accidentally bombs a bridge

everyone is momentarily shocked and we

get three seconds

of rodney sitting on a bunk bed putting

something in his pocket

before we cut back to the soccer game

because otherwise it'd be weird

if everyone seemed shocked and then

suddenly they just played the soccer

game anyway after they blew up a bridge

ike leads the audience in a chant of go

go go go and he tells them all to flip

over their cards to reveal the word go

but it says

og it's it's backwards

uh and he calls them stupid hockeys

rodney brings a second rocket to the

field

and at a very important moment of the

game

the card section flips over a photograph

of leisman

whipping candy and they try to tell him

oh look look it's a picture of you and

he's like oh you think i was born

yesterday

and then they play the recording of him

about to whip the girl

and then he realizes oh they're not

joking and he looks over

and while he's looking scores the

winning goal for no reason because this

deal doesn't matter anymore

because they just revealed the picture

right so they have no leverage anymore

right correct and then rodney blows up

liceman's bungalow so there's not even

pictures for them too because they

wanted to go and steal them back but

they couldn't get in

they couldn't get into the save so that

they just accidentally blow it up

instead

yeah and we see the photographs burning

even though the safe isn't destroyed

when the building gets blown up but i

just don't understand

why they thought the deal would be valid

because they obviously didn't plan

to have the bungalow blow up right their

plan was to steal the pictures back

no they're oh their plan was to steal

the pictures but they couldn't get into

the safe

but apparently their plan was also to

show his picture and win the game

so they would have gotten the pictures

as a reward

i don't know why they had to win the

game because their plan was always to

steal the pictures back but it would

have been invalid anyways because they

showed the picture ah this doesn't make

any sense i also don't know

why the day before they were acting like

it was a big deal that ike was missing

just make sure you're back to take care

of verigar before the king and queen are

announced

or we'll be in big trouble when they

were about to announce the king and

queen of the dance

when that didn't factor into anything

and ike played no part in the prank for

the rest of the night

the movie's over kind of the same

newspaper front page has liceman getting

arrested on one side and dad getting

re-elected

on the other side because i guess left

and right like but i guess oliver is the

main character

yeah i think so is he i mean he's the

only one that has a girl

and a goal to not ruin his father's

election to get a car and to get the

girl

and he's the whitest guy of the four so

he was probably the main character in

1980.

the kids drive away in two cars the

a corvette they got somewhere and uh

well it's oliver's

gift card oh it was his gift from his

father yeah um so that car

and then the one that hash bought that

was in the garage that they drove

through a wall

uh so they drive they're driving down

the street

and they stop for a hitchhiker and after

he tosses them his duffel bag he pulls

something off of his head to reveal that

he's

that it's liceman he's hitchhiking

because

he he doesn't have a car and they take

his duffel bag but they just drive away

they drive past him and then we hear

lesbians say

play it again and they replay that whole

portion

they they they back it up it plays a

rewind

sound but instead of the footage being

rewound and us seeing that

we see just like the camera panning left

to right

on for in like a telephoto lens zooming

really far out into wilderness

and uh and so we see him running after

the car again and then it says

play it again and we see him running

after the car again

and then the for the third rewind

suddenly

alfred newman is standing on the side of

the road and he's waving

and then we rewind again and he's

following the car again

and then a word bubble shows up that

says what me worry

which was alfred newman's catchphrase

and then we see the opening title

sequence played backwards

and the credits are rolling uh down from

the top

of the screen um and the the falling

soldier animation is playing it

backwards but also we

even start on because at the end of the

opening titles

we pan up uh from this backdrop to see

alfred

newman standing behind the backdrop with

his arms up like

shrugging i don't know what me worry you

know

and then uh we see the same thing in

reverse now he's putting his arms down

and we're panning down the backdrop to

these

toy soldiers and that's uh that's the

end of this film like i guess the only

other thing to mention is that rodney is

now with them again

because he blew up the bungalow oh so

they're friends now yeah they're friends

again

so that was that was his that was his

ark

he had an ark yeah

did chooch have an arc no

yeah he was good at soccer he was good

at soccer

when nobody's watching or when

everyone's distracted

i'm very good at distracting soccer

uh this film was directed by robert

downey senior i hope he wasn't trying

uh because i actually really enjoyed

putney swope which was ten years earlier

the tagline to put me swept by the way

was up madison avenue

so then he went on to do up the academy

uh he co-wrote the gong show movie with

cia agent chuck barris

he's also the father of iron man writer

tom patchett

wrote for bob newhart carol burnett he

created alf

he created alf yeah there's like a lot

of like

decent writing credits under his belt

wait for it jess

you're gonna be real sad about this

other writer jay tarsus

uh he played coach finstock and teen

wolf i know that's devastating for you

you're a big coach finn stock fan he

also wrote the screenplay for the great

muppet caper

oh and muppets take manhattan which

makes more sense yeah i don't like that

one

apparently he hasn't and i couldn't find

an explanation for this

uncredited screenwriting credit on short

circuit

so he wrote it with brent matic and ss

wilson

his name is on scripts that i could find

but i have no idea why his name was

eventually taken off and he did not get

a credit

uh wendell brown played ike i can't

explain to you

the order of these names so wendell

brown played ike

not not many credits uh tommy sotera

played hash not

many credits after this hutch parker was

oliver

again he was in like one episode of uh

soap opera but now he's a producer on a

bunch of fox marvel movies because he

was the president of the company for a

while

ralph macchio was chooch obviously he

did the most after this

he was johnny cade and the outsiders and

then he was daniel and the karate kid

he's eugene martone in crossroads

he plays bill gambini and my cousin

vinnie the guy whose

cousin is vinnie and apparently he's

reprising the role of danny larusso for

the youtube series cobra kai

i didn't realize he was on that but he's

probably only in one episode no he's in

a bunch oh really

i think maybe he became a regular like

in a later season when he was like oh

this show's going to stay on the air i

need a job

harry tynowitz played rodney vervegaard

this was his first film

it's his only feature character with a

name

his career culminated as ice cream clerk

in 2000's returned to me which is that

uh heart transplant

romantic comedy directed by bonnie hunt

yeah bonnie hunt

directed and wrote it she wrote it with

uh what's his name dawn lake the guy

from

the super mario brothers movie that

played the prostitute and don't answer

the phone

um sison was played by tom poston

uh he was j arthur conrad in the first

happy hooker movie

he was george utley in 184 episodes

of something i accidentally

left the rest of that row blank i just

put 184 episodes

of newhart bob newhart or just new heart

he's in three shows he's in like the bob

show the bob newhart show in the new

article

considering this this movie was written

by two new heart

writers but it's just new heart it says

just new heart

he was also floyd norton in 32 episodes

of grace under fire which was a decent

show

he also plays eric foreman's maternal

grandfather on that 70s show

so red foreman's father-in-law

he is also the voice of the capital city

goofball on the simpsons

okay in season two episode five dance

and homer i don't believe it

it's really you the capital city

goofball hello dancing homer glad to

have you aboard

if there's anything i can do for you

just squeeze the wheeze

i think that's all he says on the

episode ian wolfe

played commandant causeway that's the

old man who keeps farting

he played pto which are my initials in

thx 1138

he played the forger and dick tracy that

was his last role

and he was in another movie that we've

seen for this podcast

he was in now voyager which is on the tv

and windows

[Laughter]

antonio fargus played the coach

the coach of the soccer team he's in a

lot of classic blaxploitation movies he

was link brown and foxy brown

i assume she he's some relation to foxy

he played bunky in shaft and he played

fly guy in i'm going to get you sucker

which is the keenan ivory wayne's

blaxploitation parody movie

he also plays a taxi driver and fire

starter yeah i uh

yeah i actually remember that part yeah

because uh uh

charlie's father like mind controls him

to thinking that the bill that he gives

him is like

like a hundred dollar bill that's shitty

you will take uh

credits what does he say imperial

credits will be fine imperial credits

will be fine

stacy nelkin plays candy uh she was

marlene

the teen grocery store clerk in serial

who martin mull started dating

during a brief separation from his wife

the one who was all

the one that then went on to date the

other guy yeah i think she did yeah

the guy who kills himself after they

break up

and she was also at least partly the

inspiration

for the muriel hemingway character in

manhattan

after having dated woody allen briefly

in high school she was 17 and he was 41.

she also played ellie grimbridge in

halloween 3

and triola and yellow beard yeah that's

what i know her from

she's she's actually cute in this and

she does a fine job with all of her

scenes it's just very very terrible

material barbara bach was miss bliss

this was a year before she met ringo

starr on the set of caveman and the two

of them were married

um and are still married i think yeah

yeah they're still married

this was three years after her

appearance as anya amasova

and the spy who loved me

uh which she's actually the main

character of that book have you

have you read the books i i have not

okay the book is actually really

interesting because it's like

a coming-of-age story about this girl

before she is taken hostage by

jaws and this other guy at a hotel and

james bond just like

comes in three quarters of the way

through the story to save her and that's

it's it's a very interesting bond book

yeah because the movie is very different

yes yeah she's already an agent but it

does have jaws in it

and then he came back from moonraker

because he was so popular

uh in addition to having a beatle

husband she also has an

eagle brother-in-law because her sister

is married to joe walsh of the eagles

candy ann brown played nubia i forget if

that is the

first or second stepmother of the ike

character i thought it was the first the

first wife

um because i thought when he's talking

about the letter he calls the second

step wife nubia also

i don't know if that's just a continuity

or well because there's someone credited

as

second stepmother okay well anyway this

is the first one then

um she played the girl that the guys

brought home from the bar in heartbeat

do you remember when they found a girl

at the bar i brought her back to the

house and tried to put her in the attic

and uh she

will not be seen in a feature again

until lost in america in 1985.

that's a good movie that's the one with

uh albert brooks and

julie haggerty where they go on the road

trip because he quit his job

i don't remember that one we watched it

with matt it's it's it's really good

uh king coleman played reverend

macarthur that's ike's father

he is actually a musician and uh he

wrote a song that was very popular

called do the mashed potatoes

rosalie saterra is credited as mrs

bombalazzi bombalazi

is the name of the mafia family chucha's

mafia family so

she's playing chooch's mother but she

has the same last name as the

kid who's playing the hash character so

i wouldn't be surprised if this is just

his mom

and she was on set and they were like

can you sit next to that guy so that we

have a mom character

and she was like fine because she

doesn't have any lines this is her only

credit

tyrese allen played the assistant cook i

don't remember a cook in this movie let

alone an assistant cook

but tyrese allen played stark weather

and robocop

allison downey that's uh

robert danny jr's sister played that

platoon leader i said before

tanya boyd was reverend ike's second

wife

she played celeste perrault in 223

episodes of days of our lives

robert downey jr was a boy on the soccer

team uncredited

he is the son of the director he's tony

stark and sherlock holmes

recently dr doolittle although it's

probably

he doesn't want me to tell you that and

he played chaplin very well

ron liebman was major von leisman he's

uncredited

by request he played the father of

rachel greene on friends

he played dr cohen in garden state which

i think is the guy who has so many

certificates on his wall that some of

them are on the ceiling um

which is a funny bit and uh he's also

the voice of archer's stepfather ron

cadillac

yeah on archer yeah he's such a great

part of that show

because ron cadillac is freaking epic

but uh this movie's not his fault he

actually has the only lines that i

laughed at

um well and he only he was the only one

that had the sense to ask for his name

to be removed as soon as he said he's

like okay yeah this is what i thought on

set this is why i wanted to come to the

screening go ahead and

leave me out of this one yeah do we have

a lot more to say about this movie

i have very little to say about this

movie

i don't i either don't watch it it's a

no from me

yeah i'm surprised you've actually

gotten to this point in our podcast

yeah yeah that's a no it's a no from

from all of us i believe

yes i agree i'm trying to think of what

they could have done right

um this is not a parody film that's

where they went wrong mad magazine

is a magazine that parodies movies all

they needed to do was take a serious

film genre and do a parody of it there

are hundreds of parody films

this film is not a parody it's just a

straightforward

comedy about kids at a military academy

at no point are they making a joke about

something that happens in this kind of

movie all the time well

at no point are they making a joke

really they're not it's just nothing is

funny they i think that they

it seems like being weird was enough and

they were like this isn't a thing that a

person would do in this situation so

people will laugh at it because

it's counterintuitive i guess even gorp

had more jokes than this yes absolutely

corp had setups and punch lines

all over the place so that's where i'm

struggling right now i am literally

looking at gorp and thinking

oh my god i hated that movie so much i

don't ever want to

ever ever ever see it again it was

nothing but a bunch of dudes screaming

in every scene

and i'm struggling to decide if i want

this above or below that

it's definitely less funny than gorp

it's less funny than gorp but

i think it's less annoying than corp

yeah

looking at my list now richard do you

know where this goes on your list yeah

i mean it's not at the bottom

um it's i'm actually gonna put this uh

oh boy uh i think i'm gonna put this

below baltimore bullet

okay which is above nothing personal

okay

well i think i i'm also going to put it

above nothing personal but nothing

personal is at the very bottom of my

list so this is

fast that's the bottom that's the bottom

and i am putting this below gorp because

i think you're right

as much as i didn't like it at least

they had some jokes in that one

i am not copying you guys but i am also

putting it exactly right above nothing

personal

and below happy hooker ghost hollywood

um that puts it

above only nothing personal bon voyage

charlie brown and home movies

if you're listening to this because you

saw this movie when you were a kid and

you remember it being really funny and

you think we were unfair

rent it because you deserve to rent it

if you think that

and uh come to terms with it no no i

think

i maybe if you really liked this movie

you could explain some of the jokes i

mean that doesn't make it funnier but

maybe you could help us understand it i

think

that if someone thought this movie was

funny ever it's because they were seven

when they watched it

and they were like because he's arab and

he's bowing to oil

because they oil is they like oil and

they can't run out of gas because

they're arab they just have gas it just

spills out of their hands i'm sorry for

this episode

i think that's everything for this one

if you have any thoughts you'd like to

share with us we're vintagevideopod on

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where as i've said before you can find

each of our full movie rankings for the

year

we can also be found at

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and if you take the time to leave us a

review we will thank you personally in

an upcoming episode

if your feelings i can't ask you for

money for this episode thank you so much

for listening i hope

that you will join us next time when

we'll be discussing urban cowboy

which imdb describes like so bud is a

young man from the country

who learns about life and love in a

houston bar

[Music]