we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

looks like i picked the wrong way to

quit sniffing blue light

of my life we enjoy your films

i thought they smelled bad on the

outside

[Music]

welcome to vintage video where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time i'm

patrick o'reilly i'm jesse bayless and

i'm richard wells and today marks the

40th anniversary of the release of the

island

on june 13th 1980. it was written by

peter benchley

based on his own novel directed by

michael richie and released by universal

pictures

to date michael kane refuses to discuss

this film

what why not happy with it

really he describes it as a paycheck

grab

he has about a decade of films that were

paycheck films for him jaws four is

among them so

his peter benchley works her not on in

his favorite and

i haven't seen jaws before but i don't

necessarily disagree with that choice

but i think this is a solid movie

anthony hopkins was considered for the

lead and i can see that working just as

well

yes i like michael caine here though uh

evidently union rules prohibited dp

uh henry decay or andre de say

or andre k or however you pronounce this

name

from working in hollywood and he was

replaced after 17 weeks of shooting

by gene polito who went uncredited for

the last several weeks work

u.s coast guard cutter new hope was

portrayed by

actual coast guard vessel the dauntless

which also makes an appearance in

license to kill

conflicting information on benchley's

pay here wikipedia says he got 1.25

million for the film

that was for rights and the first draft

imdb says

2.16 million for just the movie rights

but l.a times at the time reported that

xanax and brown paid 2.15 million

dollars

plus 10 of first dollar gross

plus five percent of soundtrack profits

and approval of the director

that's insane that's a lot that's a

crazy deal for

him to have but this was after

jaws and the deep had both performed

fairly well and so he was

he was a known entity this was the third

and final adaptation of eventually story

to film

shooting locations for the film included

antigua the west indies the bahamas

miami and fort lauderdale

the film garnered two razzie nominations

acting for kane

and directing for richie undeserved

completely neither of those make any

sense complete mistakes

on the part of the razzies but go check

out the razzie's website by the way go

go look at that website i really are

angry i was explaining to these two

about it

i just looked it up because i was like

oh i'm just going to look historically

at like what is one of the razzies

you'll get further on wikipedia than you

will on the razzie's website

the ramsey's website is garbage it's the

worst made website i've ever seen

coming after you guys we'll give them

the razzy for worse website

yes cool the razzie for worst website

perfect

we open with a wide shot of the ocean by

the way before we get too deep into this

this is one of those movies where

there's twists and turns

and i'm gonna go ahead and recommend

that you see this movie before you

listen to our review of it

yeah is that fair yes absolutely because

i think this is

i'm spoiling my votes towards the end

here this is a gem of a movie

this is an important one to see for

yourself before we go through all of it

so

uh we spoil everything on this show but

occasionally we warn

new listeners that we're going to spoil

the film this is a case of that

if you just found this you're listening

to this first go watch the movie first

and then come back and listen to this we

open with a wide shot of the ocean we

see an island in the distance

the movie's called the island so that

makes sense we see the lady

a fishing boat floating into frame and a

tourist is reeling in a kingfish despite

his friends claiming

it's a marlin no it's a kingfish well

and also

saying that that they're doing the

reeling like

yeah like it's he's just sitting in a

chair and just pushes a button

to reality yeah yeah and they're all

like congratulations and they're like

applauding him

yeah um i'm imagining that these are the

characters of doctor one

two and three that are credited oh that

makes sense because they're just rich

people that

paid a yeah a robot catches their fish

for them yeah

um it comes on board with a big bite

taken out of the side though

and uh they passed this derelict cruise

ship

is it is that a jaws reference like or

just a shark reference in general

oh that makes more sense because i

thought it was weird uh

before we got to any of the twists and

turns i was like okay all right so

something's

down in the water humanoids gonna come

back yeah

um yeah i didn't even think anything

else of that at all i thought it was

literally just like uh

screw these guys they don't deserve a

nice fish the lady passes a

derelict cruise ship that apparently

broke its back

uh the their tour guide tells them um

this ship is awesome

yeah it is pretty cool looking and uh it

the point i think of this ship

is to uh cement things geographically to

this location so that we see this ship

in the future we know exactly where in

the ocean they are

because otherwise they're in the middle

of the water and you have no idea what's

going on

and also later we'll get an explanation

as to the possible

actual fate of this ship that is only

being speculated on at this point

they must have actually found a oh for

sure

like a i don't want to i don't want to

say it's uh

a ghost ship no derelict what's it

called when a ship runs ashore

like a shipwrecked a whoopsie

well it's it's obviously it's on some

sort of

yeah it's run aggressive or run aground

sure yeah

um but i'm sure there's a lot of those

in this area with thousands of islands

to contest with

uh but their their tour guide blames

faith for the ship being stuck there

because he thinks oh the captain was

probably in stormy waters and thought he

could handle it and

he couldn't the the tourists joke about

his ruined trophy

this fish with a bite taken out of it

one of them notices a canoe floating up

alongside the boat

apparently this canoe smells awful and

they're convinced because they can see a

hand sticking out that this is a cadaver

in a boat

he's like is that a dead cadaver all

cadavers are dead doctor

there's a lot of banter that goes on

with it it's great it's such a great

banter this

script is really good i was like i was

like peter mentioned you you hit it out

of the park for this

this whole this whole movie is dense

with dialogue

yes it is it is difficult to follow at

points because there's just so much

talking going on but listening to these

guys riff on each other in the

background

like back and forth like they're joking

about like what kinds of drinks they

like and what

what kind of drink is made in what

location and talking over each other

they're constantly yeah

talking over did you start drinking gin

well five years ago

but yeah so they they get this canoe

closer to the boat and then suddenly

this corpse stands up and buries an

axe in the face of one of these three

men and

they do a real quick swap from the guy

to

the prosthetic here yeah but it's um

it's insane looking the axe just goes

right in the middle of his face

blood's spurting everywhere the second

shot here

is so much crazier because

it's like he swings the axe at the gut

and only catches him because he has a

gut

if if if this guy had been you know a

little bit more diligent with his diet

and working out

he would have been fine this would have

missed him but it catches his gut

and just tears it open and spills his

innards all over the deck of the boat

and it's a really beautiful looking

makeup job for this like it looks like

he cut the guy

yeah oh god it's so gross

we cut immediately away from this chaos

going on

to gotham city to gotham city where

yeah she pointed that out i saw that

yeah there's a truck that goes by that

says gotham on the side of it which i

mean

wheat maybe that is that they're

literally supposed to be in gotham here

because

they're only in whatever the city is for

this one scene i just assume that we're

cutting away to seeing the alfred before

he got his job as a butler

some men just like to see the world burn

my cocaine pitches a story to his bosses

about 600 missing boats in three years

near the bermuda triangle

600 missing boats and they're just like

it happens nobody cares about it and

what so sorry to linger on this for a

second

what so he's a journalist of some kind

for some kind of

magazine but he's looking at photos of

of women

who are who were wearing shirts that are

very transparent it's like

but the sun is reading later on is

reading a playboy is he is he a writer

for playboy

maybe he might be okay and they're doing

a story about missing boats for some

reason

but implying that the lore

of the bermuda triangle is i think

to what we're about to see in this movie

yes okay the boss agrees to let the

story run so he can continue spot

checking nipples and photo prints

back in his office michael caine finds

his son uh michael caine's name in this

movie is

maynard by the way blair maynard

and uh he finds his son justin mom left

him there

and uh he expects his father to bore him

with museums this weekend

michael caine offers an alternative

taking him to disney world

call him maynard maynard maynard offers

to take him to the museum of

what does he say like the museum of mice

and ducks yeah something like that and i

think he did ducks and mice which i

thought was weird that you put

the duck before the mice you got to make

it sound why you got to let the kid

decode it we're talking evolutionary

like all right we're referring to disney

i would put i would elevate mice to the

top

maybe it was going alphabetically what

about the orlando museum of famous ducks

and mice

the kid picks up pretty quickly that

this is a job and that disney was an

afterthought

and he makes maynard stop at a gun shop

and i don't know why

maynard agrees to this but he pulls over

and they go to a gun shop

he he's actually really accommodating to

his son

on a lot of things and

and and while the sun gives him some

crap they seem to have a really good

relationship

yeah that's true yeah i sense you

disagree jesse no i'm trying not to

mention something yet

okay i don't know i don't know if i

should save it for later or not

delve into this right now jess no we

could we could

we could save it for later i'm making a

slight face that that richard's picking

up on because i think that

the dad seems to be making up for a lot

of things all the time the kid points

out a lot of

ways the dad has failed him throughout

the movie that's true but he doesn't

fail him as much in this movie well i

guess he does because he told him he's

going to take him to disney world and

that doesn't happen

yeah which is exactly what the kid calls

out frequently in the movie yes

hey dad you keep telling me that we're

gonna do this thing and it's like this

bait and switch that you keep pulling on

me but what would you rather do

he's always trying to make up for you

know being a crappy dad

i would love for this to be the first in

a series of films where

he takes his kid to go report on a thing

and they both like

go through some insane bat-shit crazy

adventure

but uh that's what happened to teddy

roosevelt in the sun

right exactly is that true

yeah they got lost in the like the

amazon rainforest oh

beautiful it's nice but the kid makes

them stop at this gun shop the kid seems

to be an expert in guns

mostly through film i think because he

seems to know what gun each character

uses

like dirty harry and other tv show

characters

i find this extra disturbing in the 80s

because there is no internet and there

is no

like on demand so he has to like look

through a catalog and compare

are you getting all this information

this is disturbing the shop owner senses

that this kid is

really interested in getting a gun today

the kid mentions that the cult frontier

44 is his favorite weapon

and the store owner corrects him it's

not a weapon it's a

firearm but they head into the shooting

range in the back room because

they're allowed to test that gun here

and uh

the regulars seem to be firing pretty

wildly there's one person who just seems

like

they barely have a grip on their gun

bang bang bang bang bang like just going

crazy with it yeah

and uh the kid does a decent job and the

shop owner walks down to the target and

points out his bullseye while the kid is

still pointing the gun downrange

the dad takes a shot maynard takes a

shot and nails it again

and the store nurse is like oh you're

pretty good and he says yeah i was in

korea

uh which michael caine actually was in

korea the kid bullies his dad into

buying him

a t-shirt as they're driving away we see

him holding a t-shirt for the gun shop

and uh then he puts the shirt down and

then he pulls up the gun that his dad

also bought him

um at first you're supposed to think i

think that the

shirt is a consolation prize he's like

oh no i got him both

he talked me into getting both this is

evidence right here that he's trying to

make up for something

you know just buy your kid a gun for the

hell of it you're trying to make up for

being a crappy dad

yeah they agree to keep the gun a secret

from mom though i don't know how they're

gonna do that unless i guess the gun

just lives with maynard

we see two more sailboats scooting past

the cruise wreckage

a father is keeping watch for the night

and uh he's reading a book on the deck

while his friends are ferrying back to

the second boat i guess they just like

finished having dinner or something

and this other family's going back to

their boat to sleep and he's going to

keep an eye out for pirates

it seems like he's actually like

prepared for pirates he's got a shotgun

yeah um so he's sitting up on the deck

keeping watch and

it sounded like he told him to set an

alarm because he wants to like switch

off who's on watch

his daughter is sleeping in the bow

below deck and

there's this cool moment here where the

lamp behind him slides across the deck

as the boat is tilting one way

and i think the indication is supposed

to be that someone is boarding the ship

on that side

or hanging on it at least yeah and

that's what's causing

it to tilt enough for this lamp to move

but it's it also works as just a shock

moment of this lamp suddenly

appearing behind him and freaking you

out and then suddenly

there's a dude with a flaming headdress

that just runs up and

stabs him then him and i think other

yeah additional pirates move below deck

where the mom is immediately garrotted

they like slice her neck completely open

before she even wakes up

and the daughter is in like a separate

compartment though so her door is closed

and she's just confused and calling out

to her parents and then we cut back away

from this

maynard and justin show up on the docks

where the lady is supposed to be but

it's not here because

that thing got axed to pieces right and

we're hearing uh a pre-recorded

interview that michael caine maynard had

given

uh or was was conducting right and they

were talking

about how that for insurance purposes

they never say a ship gets hijacked they

just say

it just went down uh because it's easier

to do that than to say because if the

insurance won't cover it if it gets

hijacked

yeah and it and because of all these

missing ships unless there's a federal

crime involved you can't go to the

government

right it's just local coast guard and

police so as as they walk past the

the port where the lady should be docked

other boat owners are offering their

services

like a hundred dollars for a fishing

trip and then

maynard says if i'm gonna pay a hundred

for a fish it's gonna come with a

tablecloth and a bottle of wine

and then one of the guys pulls out a

tablecloth that lays it across he's like

hey i'll do the same thing for 75

dollars and throw in a bottle of white

wine how's that

he just laughs at them like okay you

called my bluff i'm not gonna do that

we're hearing uh these recordings and it

seems like

the the interviews are are different

people using different explanations

to explain why all these ships are

missing because we have the insurance

one

and then there's also people saying that

um it's the fault of drug runners that

these ships are getting

shot down and the drugs are being stolen

but uh maynard wants to go where these

boats are disappearing

he decides he's going to charter a plane

to get there as they're walking across

the

tarmac to the plane he says what do you

think of the plane and justin's like the

son of a [ __ ] has propellers

but this pilot is insane i love it he's

like

he's like one of my favorite characters

from this movie and there's no wasted

characters in this yeah

every single person is a fun interesting

character like even those guys that were

that were trying to sell their boats

like they had jokes and they had props

set up and like they had a whole

backstory and everything

and uh this guy has this big scar in his

head that's never really explained yeah

yeah

and although you can imagine it's

probably from another crash or possibly

from when the pig beat bit him

yeah um so uh the pilot invites them

aboard and he tells them to pay no mind

to this enormous pig in the back of the

plane

because it will be tracked for the

flight because you don't want a pig to

lose its [ __ ] in the middle of the air

um he puts a hat on the kid and tells

him to pose as the legally mandated

co-pilot

and he has this big scar over his right

eye and he asks

maynard to help him navigate because

sometimes the clouds can cause him to

confuse the islands there's so many out

here

these are all bad signs as they make

their final approach

someone tries to wave them off the

runway and so he has to loop around and

make a second pass

and the guy's still there so he just

ignores him and goes to

to put her down when justin points out

what does this red light mean he's like

oh that means the wheels are up

so we're about to crash because i didn't

put the wheels down and uh they

crash and skid across the runway and

it's a violent landing yeah

like the kid's head is getting slammed

against the metal back of his chair

and uh maynard is just trying to hold

himself in this door frame

but but stark the pilot is going yeah

yeah he's having fun the whole time

he's like uh what's his name from

ducktales

it's like lunch pad just like all right

we did it

but uh when the plane comes to a

complete stop the pilot just

jumps out of the window of the cockpit

yeah he leaves and he just leaves both

of them in the plane and

uh maynard is rushing justin out of the

plane he throws him to the

the runway and then he jumps out and as

they're running away

the plane completely explodes on the

runway

killing this pig that was on board at

least it was asleep i hope

yeah but then but then starks looks at

the wreckage it just kind of shrugs

like okay whatever um maynard is

lecturing him for leaving them behind

and uh then justin points out like dad

your gun like we have to hide the gun

the customs agent is coming

and there's this uh customs agent from

the island that's like racing up on a

bike

and so he moves over to justin and he

gives justin a jacket and then puts the

gun in his pants to hide it

so he's like if anybody's gonna get

arrested here it's gonna be you son

um well no one's gonna no one's gonna

frisk the kid's crotch

that's true well maybe they will these

are pretty close to the epstein islands

um the pilot overhears that uh they have

a gun

and he says that he won't tell anyone in

a very threatening manner

the customs agent eventually lets

maynard and justin go but he arrests

the pilot as collateral because he

doesn't believe that the insurance is

going to clean up the runway

and he says i get my money soon i betcha

and then

as they're walking away from this hut

where the pilot is chained up

uh maynard says to justin don't forget

to tell your mother you went to disney

world

but they hank off the pilot to a pole

outside

the pilot is yelling about the gun and

uh

the customs agent thinks he's just being

goofy and he says

there's a hotel right down the road it's

called the chain plates in

and then he charges them 20 for the

landing fee

even though they didn't technically land

they crashed

um it's a fine line yeah um maynard and

justin sleep for the night

and in the morning they walk to the

nearby home of dr windsor

who answers there knocking on the door

with you ethiopian

because he doesn't he doesn't like

visitors and he says the hotel said you

rent boats

and uh justin is out by the water just

exploring the

tide pools and he finds a musket ball

and then he stabs his finger on an

urchin

and in the insert it really looks like

they're pulling a piece of an urchin out

of a finger or at least some kind of a

prop but it was stabbed into a finger

well and the way the sea urchin moves

and reacts to the hand looks real too

yeah it's crazy but and it's definitely

a kid's hand that they're pulling the

thing out of too so it's like they might

have just stuck something in this kid's

finger for the movie

the kid goes to join his father inside

trying to rent this boat

and the doctor who i guess had initially

refused to loan the boat

uh when he sees the kid he's like oh i

don't wanna deprive you of a fishing

trip so

um sure you can rent a boat whatever

then he asks what he wants to catch

and the kid says barracuda and maynard

kind of smiles because he's like yeah

it's just because you've heard of

barracuda being dangerous and that

sounds the most exciting to you

but the real reason that he asked what

they wanted to catch was so that he

could tell them exactly where to be and

he would know where their boat was

also the kid makes a reference to that

your place looks a lot like lex luthor's

place

yeah um so they head out and uh they

catch a

barracuda right where the doctor

suggested and uh

maynard is like whacking it as he's

getting ready to bring it into the boat

and then he jokingly holds it like

inches from his son's face

when i'm not sure it's dead yet and it

could very easily have just

slapped shut and bit this kid in the

face and the kid's like let's catch

another one and he says

oh no we should go back and he said but

this one might spoil before we get back

and it's like

are you arguing to leave or stay yeah

because if it's gonna spoil really

quickly

we should be leaving right now but he

wants his kid to keep having fun so

he indulges and he says fine we'll catch

another one um

they notice what looks like a small

craft and someone overboard

and when they get closer they can see

it's the girl that was sleeping in

in the quarters below deck while her

parents were stabbed and garrotted

with a with a blank smile on her face

that's the best way i can describe it

yeah she looks like uh she just got

driven through an atomic cloud

justin offers his hand to pull the girl

into the boat but she

instead intentionally yanks him out into

the water and tries to drown him

maynard's not doing enough to prevent

his son's murder here

for my taste yeah um he just kind of

turns around in the boat

and he grabs a bunch of rope and he's

like here son grab the rope

grab the rope get back in the boat stop

wrestling with that girl

um stop goofing around out there yeah

and then they kind of like

they get further and further away from

him and i was like when is he going to

jump in the water and get this girl off

of his kid before she drowns him

then he goes to the controls of the boat

when suddenly someone is climbing up

over the side of it toward him

he runs back to their bags at the back

of the boat

and he gets justin's gun and he shoots

this guy a few times

the pirate dies as it's approaching

maynard but

as he's falling forward he he bumps into

him and then maynard hits his head on

the boat hard enough to knock himself

out

so he's unconscious on the boat with

this dead pirate

and the girl is drowning his son he

regains consciousness tied to a post at

night

with his son in the middle of this

insane kangaroo court

the lost men which is the adult lost

boys

hold a bizarre impression of a trial

yeah and they're saying all these kinds

of weird things who's the party for the

first part

that party gone to a party guilty not

guilty

did you did or did you didn't yeah

you don't i i i i don't say self-defense

i defense

how can i defend the lion they ask his

name and when he answers blair maynard

they accuse him of having killed

blackbeard because blackbeard was killed

by a maynard yeah but they call him

great teach blackbeard like not that his

name was edward teach

but they call him the teach like as as

if he was a teacher

yeah the the pirates cut them down

because they're

they're noblemen and uh he says where

are they taking my son and he says

no son no more a woman walks in

completely covered head to toe

in mud and spits in maynard's face i

imagine it's some kind of mourning

ritual

yeah this man he killed a woman's man

this woman wants to kill him for

shooting her husband they can't charge

him with a death penalty because

he's noble but she's allowed to kill him

because he killed her husband

specifically

so only she can act out the sentence but

they tell her

wouldn't it be better to use him as a

sex slave and have a noble baby

and so they cut him down and he

collapses you make good fig fig

yeah the the snooze new of the future

exactly mud girl mixes

maynard a green paste and spreads it on

his head wound

we see justin tied to a post with a rope

around his neck holding him up

and matchsticks holding his eyelids open

he wants desperately to sleep but a

pirate is feeding him

the this this treatment that they're

giving the kid this is like a

like a brainwashing little bacon

treatment kind of thing

yeah yeah he wakes the kid up the next

morning with a bucket of water

and says say after me no mother no

father

we cut to maynard and uh in addition to

this green paste they've rubbed on his

head

they're putting leeches on his chest

this weird judge character who had like

really tiny cornrows just gently

ushering

these leeches along like oh gordon you

got it dr brazil

yeah he's totally insane they all are

really

and uh david warner is here he is

playing

i i forget the john david

now like nau yeah john david now

who presumably would have would have

been

a descendant of an actual pirate named

jean david now who was in these islands

in the 1600s but i'm just gonna call him

david warner so that i don't screw that

up

and he intends to brainwash this kid

into killing his father

we learn the whole plan here a

thunderstorm wakes maynard in the night

and

the woman who he is betrothed to

immediately mounts him

the next day david warner brings

the woman a neck shackle to keep him as

a pet basically

and to walk him around on a leash

maynard looks at the packaging for the

combination lock a few times

and she says you kill my man make a good

baby

he make bad baby dia borney which i'm

assuming porny means newborn

but we get a lot of interesting words

here uh

the the kid justin and another member of

the tribe are practicing shooting

this other member of the tribe is a kid

from the boat with

uh the doctors yeah and his name is

manuel

but the two of them are practicing

shooting and justin hits a few targets

perfectly

and as a reward he's given le terrible

which is a french gun and he is asked to

shoot

this spiky gourd out of his father's

hands and and

michael caine's character just

completely trusts his son

yeah like he he's not like saying

anything he's just like

all right i i believe that my son can

make this shot

i feel like some of these choices might

have been the inspiration for him being

nominated for a razzy

because he he's almost not acting

because he knows there's no danger

in what's gonna happen well he he he

thinks he knows there's no danger

that's the key here yeah because he

thinks that his son is just playing

along

but even later there's stuff that gets

really crazy and he seems to not be

reacting to it the way that a person

should be reacting to it

but uh justin levels the gun and

he is able to successfully shoot the

gourd out of uh

out of his father's hands but as the

guy's like setting him up for the shot

he says

you know how to stand still now is good

time

uh but yeah he he shoots the gourd it

explodes

and throws this weird like pulpy flesh

all over maynard

and uh justin walks up to him and he

says okay

like here's what we got to do son and he

says look if i wanted to hit you i could

have

and he's like what like he's very

confused

and uh his dad calls them pirates but

justin corrects they are buccaneers

and then suddenly he says you make me

sick and this is where maynard loses it

because he's like you're not playing

along you actually are friends with

these people what is going on

because this kid already believes some

of the history that the pirates have

told him he refers to himself as tubarb

yeah that's his new name and i don't

know if barb is a reference to the

urchin stab

but he slaps his father here you can see

that maynard is just like furious and he

doesn't know what to do

but he starts walking through the camp

with the woman in charge of him

and she sees a crab like scuttling into

some muddy water and she runs to collect

it

and while she's doing that maynard is

spying on this loot pile nearby

and he steals this small rubber like

inflatable thing

because he saw that she never set a

combination on the lock he knows from

the packaging

that the combination is still zero zero

zero zero for him to escape

so in the middle of the night he undoes

the lock

takes off the the neck uh shackle

and he sort of tiptoes through the camp

and

maynard overhears the lessons that

they're giving his son and it seems that

these are descendants of shipwrecked or

shanghaied pirates from 300 years ago

i don't know if they make it entirely

clear why they stayed on this island

well and they've probably been either

breeding with each other or kidnapping

people to breed with and then killing

those people

so that just the babies are brought up

in this society

yeah um it is weird though that they've

been here for 300 years and haven't

built like a single house

like they know what houses are and they

know what boats are

like why why haven't they built any

structures they're just living in like a

naked mangrove

there's there's nothing here there's

just like blankets draped over stuff but

it rains on them

uh i i would maybe argue that

uh these islands have probably been

wiped clear

from hurricanes now maybe and they just

don't have the materials or resources to

build anything

permanent i would also say that in the

same way that there's a deterioration

of the language that they're using that

there might be

in general a deterioration of all

knowledge that these guys have

over the generations that they've been

living there and their iq in general

possibly as inbreeding is causing

problems

but yeah so maynard tries to swim out to

sea and he inflates the little flotation

device he stole

but unfortunately he swims blindly into

a pack of man of war jellyfish

and it's just getting stung to [ __ ] out

that is one of my biggest fears

like it's bad enough that he's getting

stung but it looks like he's gonna drown

in this because he's so tied up in it

yeah

like he the more he kicks away he just

gets himself more tangled up in them and

that

i'm so horrified of jellyfish but also

even more horrified of men of war

i can't even picture you going into the

ocean no i don't

i don't specifically because of that

because of these things

um i would rather deal with a literal

man of war

i mean i've been i've been diving before

and

you come across these little jellies

that will

sting sting your skin as you're diving

and they'll be in these clouds then you

can't really avoid them until you feel

all these things on you i can't even

imagine

what it's like to have to have a full

size giant ones

just draping their tentacles across you

but he manages to get back to shore and

he's

crawling desperately up the beach when

he's discovered by his woman

and a few other tribes people stumble up

behind her and they punish her for

letting him escape

yeah because it puts their whole by

dragging one of the men or across

her and her genitals yeah yeah

presumably the yeah i think it's pretty

clear

uh yes they pull her whole skirt up and

they're dragging it between her legs

oh i thought they were aiming for her

stomach i guess maybe i mean they only

show it

draping across her her breasts and her

chest

but there's a lot of it hanging out of

frame that i think the implication was

supposed to be that they're

they're rubbing it everywhere and then

at the end of the scene when they drop

her you can see that she's completely

naked from the waist down but she

collapses into the water

and takes as long to recover as he is

taking

but apparently she doesn't blame him for

this escape attempt no

there's a lot of scenes where they're

like kind of bonding

like they're where they're collecting

what looks like to be rocks

in a bucket um and it starts to rain so

they shelter together

i think they're snails are they snails

okay i couldn't tell what they were like

i love the taste of these rocks

that's why you picked this campsite

right because of the rocks a delicious

looking

limestone rock

[Music]

nice bouquet must be

a real vintage here

but and i feel like this was like

another kind of like bonding time with

them

like the time we both got angry ocean

spaghetti on our

naughty bits spicy spaghetti

uh the next day she gives maynard a

shovel and tells him to dig a tree out

of the dirt

and uh then she leaves him unattended

and says don't you escape now

and then suddenly dr windsor shoots by

on a speedboat and maynard makes a run

for it

he pleads with windsor to turn the boat

around and

windsor looks over maynard's shoulder

and says i thought you were going to

kill him

and we see david warner over his

shoulder saying she let him go again

and uh the woman leads maynard into

windsor's hut

and he says sit down fido because he's

playing

into the joke of like oh yeah you're a

pet here that's so cute

this guy dr windsor to me sounds exactly

like

alan rickman his voice sounds exactly

like alan rickman

i i thought you were going to say he he

sounds like dr moreau

um in the sense that like he's created

this

he's almost not created this society but

he he is

like managing it managing it and taking

a step back and just like

kind of watching it evolve so he is a

doctor i'm assuming he is an

anthropologist

um i'm not sure because it's not really

ever

said what he is the doctor of he does

talk about

being fascinated with this living

history that they have here on this

island so i would presume that he is an

anthropologist because he says it's an

anthropologist's dream

yeah and that there's thousands of

islands and there's no planes that fly

over this island

and he's already reported the maynards

lost at sea so

no one's ever gonna come find you and

this is great and you're gonna you're

gonna help them

you know purify their dna or rather

unpurify

their dna and uh and allow them to

continue and

you're seeing history right here um

because he says

this tribe doesn't have any viable

fetuses and if it did live it would be

an idiot and then maynard says i could

see that

i just love that bit um the pirates take

both of the maynards on a raid

and here they are attacking a a

beautiful schooner

yeah like yeah windsor informs them uh

of its approach

yeah and i was like what what is this

ship

and who are these people who are

operating yeah let's find out

yeah but it's this beautiful it's all

wood with these huge red

sails like blood red sails and it's

really a beautiful show really

really inconspicuous for their line of

work yeah exactly

um we have this pleasant adventuring

music

as uh as they approach and uh

so the pirates uh they basically they

they're firing cannons on this ship as

they approach the scooter's like trying

to wave them aside because it's like oh

we don't want to crash into you

but uh the pirates just storm the ship

and slaughter

most of the crew uh one member of the

crew shows off

some martial arts prowess he like tries

to stop them

and he's he's doing like full-on like

bruce lee

vocalizing and like swinging his arms

around

it's super awkward yeah it goes on for

too long and also

i loved it really tiny i wouldn't cut a

frame out of this and when he dies i was

like oh thank god

no i was very disappointed i wanted to

be the hero of this film

but so he he has decided that he's going

to take on these pirates one at a time

and the pirates are also very sporting

they're like no no

like back off one at a time like you

can't don't shoot him

yeah i want to see how many of us he can

get through and he made it just to like

completely destroy a couple of these

pirates

but eventually one with a sword steps up

and he seems to be

one of their higher-ups because he's

chosen specifically by david warner

and uh he is able to block the swordsman

still for

about 30 of his 31 swings

but uh the last one unfortunately lands

right in his chest

you only have to miss one of those to be

a problem

um but he he uh he gets stabbed in the

chest and bleeds out on the deck

they find a drunk guy below deck who is

very impressed with their get ups and

he's like oh far out man

and then they find uh the woman below

deck who was on the deck when they

attacked

but she ran downstairs and they uh they

started to bring her up to the deck and

he says

oh she got pretty stuff we should keep

her

because they're all just drooling over

this woman um back below decks they're

finding

these heaping bags of cocaine and

maynard is trying to explain to

his owner what this is and he says it's

a drug called cocaine

what does it cure

insecurity and i thought for sure where

this was going to go was he was going to

convince him that it was

good medicine yes that's exactly what

she suggested that's what i thought was

going to happen too she's like oh she

should just get all these people hooked

on cocaine and then they'll just kill

each other

but uh the victims bodies are all being

thrown overboard except for obviously

the survivors are all lined up

and they raid the rest of the ship on

the deck the remaining crew are read

their official charges by the same

kangaroo court system as before but none

of these people are nobles

someone at a time they're shot in the

head um

this girl the girl tries to escape right

yeah and she gets shot like as she's

jumping overboard

but she dies i'll say you for this

prisoner

guilty but for this prisoner

guilty is this prisoner guilty all

guilty someone notices that there's a

guy hiding like

at the top of the what is this the

center mast

and uh he's like basically pulled all

the sails in a bundle around himself to

like hide himself

but they notice he's up there and one of

the guys says oh he's climbing to heaven

i'll help him on his way and he lifts

his gun to shoot but david warner's like

no no

no let's let the kid do this and so

justin takes his gun and he brings it up

and maynard's on the

deck of the ship now watching this all

go down and

justin puts one right through the guy's

forehead

so justin just put a bullet through the

brain of an innocent person on the deck

of his ship

now at this point i wasn't convinced

until this point i wasn't convinced that

justin was

entirely brainwashed i thought maybe he

was

committing to this role until he could

find a chance

to get with his father and get away

you were like people that had only seen

force awakens and were like

come on he just killed his dad as a goof

right like yeah

he's gonna be a good guy um but when he

did this i was like ooh

if he's still just pretending this is

super

uncomfortable yeah for the future of

their relationship as father and son

so if he had just been faking it you

think he would have

he would have missed on purpose yeah but

he

even if he were faking it he couldn't

miss on purpose because he's already

demonstrated that he is a dead shot

mm-hmm

so even that's rocking back and forth

yeah

um so this is the point at which you

started pointing out some similarities

yeah i'll go ahead and bring it up here

hook is a shot-for-shot remake of this

movie i was gonna say that later

i'm excited they full on captain hook

neverland this kid

this is 100 the movie hook yeah

like beat for beat the whole way through

the story this is the movie hook

there's toodles there's no way that

there's a lot of the crazy pirates

but there's no way spielberg didn't see

benchley's third

film right i mean he didn't right hook

nick castle actually wrote hook i just

hate peter benchley's hook

nick castle it was a very different

movie it had nothing to do with peter

pan

but yeah it's just especially this scene

i was like this is so much exactly what

happens in the movie hook

that it's blowing my mind that hook was

adapted from this

insane movie

like it just was like there's no

argument that it wasn't because so

too much of it is exactly from this

movie it's like

this angry present-day dad who doesn't

have enough time for his kid

is a jerk to him and they go on a

vacation

and then the kid gets kidnapped and the

dad's trying to get him back and the

pirates kidnap both of them

and then the kid becomes friends with

the pirates and the pirates make the kid

do

bad things and the dad's trying to

convince him to be good it's just

totally hook it i i can't get over the

fact that this

that hook was based on something

but it's insane uh to clarify this is

patrick's opinion

this is this is supported uh way any

research

but you guys both agree with me we took

a vote earlier and they both agree

um they didn't but it's true

it's a chauffeur shot remake um might as

well have been

gus vanzant directing uh justin tells

his father that his name is now

tubarb and uh he draws a gun

on david warner i'm not sure why

david werner and his father are standing

side by side and he points a gun at

david warner

and then at the last second he turns to

pretend that he's going to shoot his dad

but he shoots past his dad

and then he laughs because his dad was

scared

if we finally showed some hesitation and

got worried by the

by the bullet going past him because now

that he's seen what his son is capable

of he's like oh you're not screwing

around anymore

so they get back on their tiny ships and

row away from the

schooner and we see this explosion

rise from just behind the scooter yeah

which is fine uh i would have been sad

if they blew up this actually yeah

it was it was believable enough yeah i

was like

all right suspension of disbelief that's

fine uh

yeah the pirates make some jungle juice

with basically just rum in their own

blood

and uh then they sort through some of

their loot and uh the girl tosses the

side of flare gun

is useless and maynard makes note of

this an old pirate can't figure out what

the [ __ ]

simon says is he's just like banging on

it and it's beeping at him and he's very

confused yeah and and

dr windsor is here enjoying the spoils

yeah and in explaining some things to

to to maynard about the culture like

he's like they didn't kill me because i

proved i could be useful to them

right it's like just like they haven't

killed you yet yeah because

you know because he's trying to prove

that they're not just savage

yeah that that they kill with a purpose

i guess is what his point is

yeah and he's also here he's returning

uh maynard's glasses which he says he

found on the boat

and i wonder if that isn't supposed to

be an implication of like

take a closer look at these people the

fact that he's giving him the glasses

back

but um he also as he's sitting down he

notices the flare gun and he's like oh

i see what's happening here okay i'm

gonna take this with me

um and uh maynard hands his leash to his

woman

he's just like bundles up the chain and

he's like here you go take me away

and she goes to the pirate leader and

demands a wedding

uh maynard does not answer when he's

asked if he will marry her

he's like do you take this woman and

he's like doesn't say anything

that she says yes and they're married

werner puts his arm on two barb's

shoulder

and just publicly adopts him in front of

maynard um it seems like

at the same time as he's adopting this

kid he's

disowning disowning manuel yeah because

he's a portuguese

zambo yeah that's what he calls him uh

it's pretty

pretty messed up uh all of this is

pretty messed up

but i guess the the final the final

ceremony of this uh

adoption requires the kid to drink a

bunch of the blood wine

and uh after he resists it david warner

just splashes it angrily across his face

never told me no we see manuel run away

and uh he raises a flag

a sail on a boat oh he raises a sail

okay

and he's he's interacting with the boat

and we think that he's prepping it

like he's gonna leave yeah because he's

sad about having been ditched

as a son uh the woman leads maynard back

to her tent

and then uh she leaves him alone for a

second and manuel sneaks in

and says come on we're gonna get your

kid and we're gonna get out of here

because i want my dad

back basically i don't know if that's

his plan necessarily

yeah it is he wants to he wants to

impress david warner because he's also

been

brainwashed or or maybe not because his

his life on the other boat wasn't all

that great either no yeah

uh any he didn't seem so shocked that

pirates stormed a board and killed three

men in front of him either

but uh maynard does grab his son while

everyone's drunk and unconscious his son

is also drunk and unconscious

the pirates find the woman outside the

camp and they say hey where did your

husband go

and she's like oh he's he's back in the

tent and they're like yeah no he's not

and so they grab her for lying and uh

just before maynard can leave in this

boat that manuel prepped

uh his son breaks away and runs back to

his new father

shouting uh shouting to him to let him

know that

that maynard's trying to escape so he

basically just lets justin go he's like

i've done

i can't deal with this right now one

step at a time

so uh manuel stays with the camp and

he's basically counting on manor to come

back and get

the kids of it so that he can be sun

number one again

at sea the boat starts leaking because

holes in the boat were patched with

molasses

which maynard is able to determine by

tasting the water that's

pumping through the boat yeah so

sandwell was trying to kill him

kill them both yeah he wanted him and

the sun on there

to get him out of the picture because he

also tells him to go east and the dad

points i was like i

shouldn't go east there's nothing to the

east he's like no no

just trust me go east yeah the pirates

come

across maynard's overturned boat and

presume that he drowned because where

else could he possibly have gone

dr windsor says nope he's he didn't

drown and you've got his kid he'll come

back

and then we notice that he's watching

this whole discussion from the high

ground like plain view of everybody

which seems kind of dangerous but now

suddenly there's a coast guard ship

and a rescue op seems to be inbound nope

they're just fishing up coke from the

exploded schooner

and uh maynard comes across this powder

shack on the island

and uh he busts open a powder keg with a

battle axe

like a double-sided battle axe and uh he

draws a line of gunpowder

to a safe distance from the from the

shack

uh dr windsor at this point is concerned

about the coast guard stumbling on so he

he he says that he might go down there

and do some recon but also might try to

steer them away

yeah but david warner is kind of like i

don't know if you should do this

uh but he goes anyway but he goes back

through the village first

yeah but as he does he also comes across

this powder shack

and he finds this line this powdered

line which i thought he was just going

to kick

a gap in but he doesn't do that and then

when maynard comes back

maynard basically went and got like a

bottle of wine to make a molotov

cocktail to light the fuse

i guess i i think he just needed

something to burn

some kind of a torch yeah and so he he

made the molotov cocktail but i think he

was using it more like a just to bring

the fire to the

yeah something that wouldn't just burn

and go out

yeah he gets back to where he drew this

line and he notices

his wife is standing in the entrance to

this powder shack

and we're starting to think like oh my

god is he just going to light this thing

and the fuse is going to go through her

legs and just blow her up and she's got

a gun on him

she has a crossbow oh a crossbow she

pulls this crossbow up

and fires it directly over his shoulder

and she kills the approaching doctor

windsor who he didn't even know was

coming

and uh and then she runs away so that he

can blow the shack because she doesn't

care she just wants to help him escape

at this point

and i think she determined at this point

that she's pregnant already

yeah yeah so that dr brazilian she's

like i got what i wanted from you

like you can go now basically the drug

enforcement people obviously see this

huge explosion and start to approach the

island a team of men show up but they

make ken stay in the boat while they

investigate

and uh they find this settlement with

this girl that's been reported missing

sitting alone by herself oh god this is

the greatest

like shot uh so these pirates just

sneak up behind these men and just kill

the [ __ ] out of everybody

they're slitting throats from behind and

stabbing people in the heart and they

kill every single one of these guys

except for the guy that got left in the

boat

yeah and the girl's just smiling

psychotically and one the one pirate

rolo blows her a kiss

yeah and then i love this bit too

because they they start to dress in all

these men's uniforms

and they put on their life vests to

cover all the insane blood stains around

the chest

and uh they move back to the boat and

they make ken take them

all the way out to the the actual coast

guard ship maynard tries to swim to the

coast guard boat

well he doesn't try to yeah he's

successful he successfully swims

as they pull up alongside the boat like

there's a a bunch of

the crew of the ship are standing on the

side like talking down to them

and for some reason nobody notices that

they don't recognize any of these people

well they're they're like kind of parked

underneath like this weird cargo netting

yeah but also you get the impression

that these coast guard guys are just

kind of like

this is the boring most boring job in

the world yeah everything is routine

nothing new is going to happen they only

recognize one person on the ship and

they're actually commenting on

oh he looks so worried like why does he

look terrified and

there's a tarp and they said did you

find some bodies what's under the tarp

and then some pirates pop up and start

shooting at this whole line of coast

guards

and uh is that what they're called coast

guards

[Laughter]

um what do you call a member of the

coast guard

a coast guard

a coastal guardian coast guardian a

guardian they're firing at these coast

guardians

and uh the whole team of coast guardians

gets murdered

right away oh the whole crew they yeah

they get up onto the ship and kill

everyone on this boat like 30-some dudes

yeah they'll face down on this deck like

they the one guy sounds an alarm and the

people in the lunchroom are like

like what is this a drill or something

an alarm right and then flame head is

running through the

running through the ship and just

stabbing people yeah they're setting off

like makeshift explosives out of some

kind of like

pro looks like propane tanks maybe

they're garaging people too again

oh yeah that's the the the line of blood

that are

ah it's just there's so much meat yeah

there's so much stuff with meat

that i don't i appreciate but it's

horrifying

the pirate teams rush out to the front

of the coast guard ship and take down

the american flag to send up the jolly

roger

with a with like a black widow uh

hourglass beneath the symbol yeah

and they announce over the side to some

of their their waiting pirates for the

ride back that they lost

three of their men on this mission

maynard makes it to the ship

and he climbs up some cargo netting to

get up the side of the ship

the pirates are having a funeral for

their lost colleagues

then they start to move to collect and

fight over all the crap that's littering

the deck

yeah they're they're on the like the

helicopter landing pad

yeah and while maynard is kind of

surveying the scene

uh we see david warner basically takes

justin aside and then maynard finds

a large gun mounted to the deck of the

ship

and he gets it started and just

mows down every pirate

in the whole movie just chews through

them with these massive caliber rounds

and you know how at this point he

doesn't know

that his son isn't among all these

people that he's mowing down because you

can't really

tell he's just indiscriminately going

back and forth

among all the pirates he might have

thought his son was a lost cause at this

point

i honestly think when after he does this

all these pirates on his deck are dead

and then david warner comes out with

justin and i think he's like oh my god

this is great he didn't kill you you're

alive i think he's relieved here i think

he was just like

i got to put an end to this or i'm going

to be dead and then he was like just

pleasant surprised that his son is still

old well and then and then

and manuel had taken cover he's like oh

of course because he can't kill

children right in this movie i think so

he's behind a bunch of boxes of fruit or

something and that's

enough to stop the like oh man the

pirates should just put boxes of fruit

on all their ships

if they don't want the coast guard to

take them out because it's apparently

everything proof so david warner gives

the gun to

justin and says shooting my son and your

no true freedom

and this is where we get the moment of

truth and justin levels the gun at his

dad and he says

i can't do it and then manuel jumps out

and says i can do it

and he takes the gun and tries to shoot

maynard but he can't get the gun away

from justin and eventually justin shoots

manuel

in the face so now this kid has shot two

people in the face

well and this is the exact scenario that

michael caine had warned him

about in the car when he first got the

gun right now you have to go to manuel's

parents

and say i'm sorry i shot manuel in the

face i think manuel's parents are

probably long gone that's probably true

uh

i assumed they were on the boat as well

i don't know it seemed like he was kind

of like just their

their boat boy like he was just in

charge of like upkeep

he was basically an employee of he said

boat right

yeah yeah boat boy islands are

on the horizon

so now uh warner tries to coax two barb

away

at gunpoint he's he's like come with me

and and he he won't just follow his

instructions anymore now he has to point

a gun at the kid

to get him to go anywhere and so

everyone moves below deck

david warner ties up justin in the

engine room

and uh maynard is trying to sneak up on

them

but werner's giving himself away he's

breaking all these lights

to like he wants to make it dark in here

so that maynard can't see what's going

on

but he's making a lot of sound so that

maynard can keep track of where he is

and he's also making it darker for

himself

so he can't see what he's doing so

he just gets paranoid and fires every

remaining bullet into this

dark hallway that he assumes maynard is

in

but then maynard climbs down into the

engine room

and then he drops down on top of him

with this huge hunting knife

the two of them struggle for a while

maynard tosses them aside and grabs a

flare gun

and warner continues to swing this axe

at him

and keeps missing until maynard puts a

flare right into his chest

and he falls to his death over the side

of like like some kind of engine

compartment yeah he just drops down into

this compartment

and uh so he's just his corpse is down

there smoldering because it's got a

flare in it and the axe falls down right

after him i was like oh man that

could have been bad um you don't want to

die and

die well but i mean i was thinking more

for like the stunt man because the

the axe looked real yeah um

so maynard hugs his tied up son and uh

the two of them climb up out of the ship

together

and there's this like weird like comedy

bit at the end

as the helicopter is approaching the

deck and he's reporting back like

all these corpses on the deck and he's

like the bodies i don't know how to

describe them i guess civilian

they look like pirates and he's like did

i hear you correctly pilots or pirates

pirates pirates did i read you correctly

did you say pilate

or pirates over i've i said pirates

pirates i'm not kidding they appear to

be pirates they're dressed as pirates

all right uh 1377. portsmouth

pirates you mean like the old day

pirates over

like it's just a straight-up comedy

moment but but we never get a resolution

for maynard and justin right we don't

get any kind of

like saying no talk over the radio that

oh there's there's someone on board

there's a man and a

young boy um i assume

they go back to the island

oh i wouldn't have assumed that because

well because when michael kane first

swims away from the island before he

swims away he sees beth standing up on

the cliffside watching him

yeah and i kind of feel like not that

they're going to go back to the island

to stay but they might go back to the

island for beth because she's the only

one left alive otherwise you're just

leaving her to die there

that's fine i figure when the coast

guard comes in and cleans up this whole

mess they're going to

check into and she'll be fine i think

they

just got rescued yeah i think they

probably just but the thing is we have

to think

we have to think that this happened

because we're not i for one am not

uncomfortable thinking

[Laughter]

i accept this responsibility anyway

uh this movie is insane and awesome and

i love it i

i have been talking about this movie all

week

i was telling jess we should do like uh

sit down with like all of our friends

and watch like all of our

favorite like hidden gems from the year

at the end of the year yeah

and this would 100 be in there with

ninth configuration and like

just insane movies that i've for some

reason never heard about

anyone but what's even more insane is

that michael keane

dislikes this movie and it was nominated

for razzie so clearly yeah no other

people didn't like this movie

it didn't do well it didn't pay for

itself it's so great

but it's also that's another thing that

i really like about it is that it's like

one of those

going out on a limb movies like there's

there there's a lot of uh

it feels very terry gilliam to me in

places

like fisher king specifically or

like and he does a lot of stuff with

pirates too and that are just all

a cast of weird characters but um and

he's worked with david warner

it's it's just it feels like a movie

where

where the audience was a very small

group of people that i find myself in

and for an unexpected reason it got

a huge budget and very good

production value like the cast was all

great people

and everybody's doing their damnedest to

make this an interesting film

yeah the whole the whole language of the

pirates yeah it's

fascinating i had to turn the subtitles

on but i

i i found that i was like oh boy this is

really interesting

they don't waste a second i mean

the kung fu scene is like i loved it um

i thought that was a nice way to break

up like and

and really i think what they were trying

to do was make this less of a dark scene

because the music by itself wasn't gonna

lift it

but that's what i love like it's like a

it's like a daring pirate adventure like

the seahawk or something like that

it's like like cheerful pirate music it

was like oh god but they're killing

these people yeah

no it was really great um the only other

thing was i feel like

the last fight with david warner is a

little lacking but that machine gun

scene

oh my god yeah i was like that's all i

needed this last fight can happen but i

don't care anymore because

he's he's won as far as that concern

that

and when they storm the ship and kill

the entire crew of this

entire coast guard ship i was like

because as we were approaching that i

was like something needs to happen here

more than just these pirates getting

gunned down by the coast guard

and they won the fight yeah and i was

like oh my god this went so much further

than i expected and then he found that

gun like

when he first peeks under the blanket he

sees this massive gun and i was like

okay well that solidifies it like i'm

done i like this movie it's done

well because of all of his escape

attempts yeah and then the coast guard

shows up i thought okay

this is it this is the end of the movie

the coast guard's going to come in

they're going to start opening fire

but it just goes like like i feel so bad

for michael caine at this point like

nothing is going your way yeah it was

super unexpected for me i think i even

mentioned that

as they're approaching the

coast guard ship like well there's no

way that they could overtake this yeah

this is this is such a dumb plan from

them

and they just don't know what coast

guard means so they have no idea what

they're running into

right they just do it no problem yeah

it was amazing our director here was

michael richie which is a really

unexpected pick for this

going through his credits i mean you

have like the bad news bears in 76

before this

and also in 1980 he had two credits

for directing the the island and a movie

we won't be covering called divine

madness which is actually a documentary

it's a

it's a bette midler concert film but um

i don't know if you've noticed this

listeners but we are skipping concert

films because they don't really fit

the way we do the show but later in the

80s all of his stuff is like

just straight comedy like fletch

obviously is one of my favorite films of

all time

wildcats the golden child this another

fletch that's not as great

but it's just uh it's just such a weird

it's definitely an outlier in his career

well and and the fact that peter

benchley had director pick

right like he had to approve the

director and he says the guy director

bad news bears

yes get him in here well

honestly i feel like it needed to be

someone with a sense of humor and

and knew how to handle a different kind

of comedy

because i do feel like this movie is

trying to be a comedy in a lot of places

but yeah peter benchley obviously we

talked about before this was the

the third filmed adaptation of

eventually story after jaws in the deep

um obviously not counting the first

three jaws sequels

uh one of which had already released the

music here was enyo moricone

which uh according to imdb he has like

13

score credits in 1980 but a bunch of

them are like actually in italy and

so this was one of two american films

because we had windows

the second of two american films yeah we

had windows actually there might be

another one

later in the year obviously michael

caine here is blair maynard

he's alfred and the nolan batman's he's

austin powers dad

he was in jaws for the revenge which i'm

pretty sure there's a quote from

michael caine where they say oh did you

ever see josh 4 and he says

no i didn't but i've seen the house it

paid for and it's beautiful or something

like that yeah

um which that's obviously a sequel to

another benchley adaptation he'll be

back later this year in dress to kill

and he was also another one of his

paycheck films was irwin allen's

the swarm which we have yet to check out

um but you know he's acting for decades

yeah you know the the the original

italian job uh

alfie i mean he's had a very very long

career he teaches acting

he's just a really amazing

force yeah in hollywood wow and i think

he was

he was a really good choice for this

character david warner was john david

now

he's spicer lovejoy and titanic he's ed

dillinger and tron

he's dr ren in in the mouth of madness

uh winston smiles on briscoe county

yeah uh he's a klingon somewhere in

space i think

yep uh star trek six yeah and uh he's

also the voice of archmage on gargoyles

and razal ghul on batman the animated

series

time bandits he's where he plays the

ultimate evil there you go

uh he's so great he is he is amazing

i can't remember who did the interview i

want to say maybe it was the av club

um did an interview with him did i talk

about it

um i don't remember that being a topic

in the interview

but yeah they run down like so many of

his big famous

roles he's great uh yeah he didn't come

back for

legacy did he no but his son did

oh really uh cillian murphy plays

john dillinger jr oh interesting um and

cause i imagine they wanted to make more

tron movies and so they were gonna like

set up

silly murphy to be cause why else would

you cast him to be

yeah in this movie which i really like

tron legacy and i think that

that it was a really good follow-up yeah

um i had some issues with it but overall

it's very good

i know at least at one point they were

planning on doing more than one sequel

but i don't know if that'll ever happen

frank middlemast was windsor this is the

guy that i thought

sounded like uh alan rickman uh

he is sir charles linden from barry

linden

and that was his his biggest credit of

of uh

everything else i saw you give me a look

which one's the pirate

that uh has the cornrows

that's uh brazil dr brazil dr brazil

yeah

so i spent a while thinking about

why dr brazil looks so familiar to me

and it's not because he's in

anything else that i recognize him from

but i think he looks like

uh one of the muppet pirates

he looks like the muppet angel marie

from muppet treasure island so i'm just

going to show you guys this picture

that looks about right muppet treasure

island was also written by

one of the co-writers of hook so they're

all the same movies what i'm trying to

say

uh don henderson was rolo uh he plays

general taggie or toggy in star wars

episode four

yeah um he's the one who's threatening

not threatening but he's the one at the

board meeting uh saying that

the rebel plans have been taking taken

and we need to take steps because we're

vulnerable

and then the one who gets choked by

vader says you know

vulnerable to your starfleet maybe but

not to this battle station

okay so he's clearly the the commander

of the

the navy i guess i would call it as far

as the imperial space navy

fleet yeah um he's also a commander in

baron munchausen

yeah yeah that that the only part that i

can figure he plays because of

that voice is the battle on the beach or

no um when uh the baron and sally are on

the wall

and he goes gentlemen don't you think it

would be a good idea to silence those

enemy cannons

nose it's wednesday

and then he rides the cannonballs back

and forth zeke's mokay

was wescott that's the uh the customs

agent that comes riding up on a bike

he plays dr benjamin iwabi in outbreak

and he's also

priyam in waterworld that's what i

believe that's one of the elders

yeah uh in the town with uh

oh god we just had him in um hiding in

place night

the the mob boss the mob dawn anyway

yeah he was in there too

yeah um brad sullivan was stark that's

our uh awesome

pilot with the big scar on his face um

he plays sergeant vincente in the dream

team

uh he plays an executive in the movie

the abyss

and he's also wanchuck in slapshot

we have james j casino as doctor number

three one of our

three ill-fated doctors from the start

and he plays sammy in baltimore bullet

and this was his second to last movie

before brainstorm in 83

which we mentioned was the film that

natalie wood hadn't finished filming

when she passed away

reg evans was jack the bat he played the

station manager in

mad max earlier this year or station

master sorry

um i think that's the guy who's fixing

like their car or something

the guy when they when uh they're like

threatening him when they're waiting for

the delivery of their friend's

corpse in a tiny oh yeah that makes more

sense

um william g shilling was baxter

uh he plays a golfer in space jam that's

the guy who

runs the gun shop um i didn't find any

other credits that i recognized from him

but

but jesse were saying i know this guy

from somewhere oh i totally didn't

yeah um i do want to say something

though uh

unrelated to the cast but one of the

casts is credited as

coast guardsmen guardsmen okay coast

guardsmen

there is apparently the term i'm not

going to fix that but

just if you were curious coast guardsman

is the term but i do want to point out

that you can call them cosi's actually i

don't know if you're allowed to

it's i don't know if it's derogatory or

just slang but

people use that word uh the only other

person i want to mention

and i don't know if it's true or not

because it says woman at gun range

uncredited oh yeah and this woman named

christine page did you look her up

i did uh she was like smuggled out of

cuba

by her parents and forced and lived in

exile like her her parents didn't come

with her

yeah um and then she grew up and became

a comedian

uh like a latino comedian did like a lot

of like

um script doctoring and writing

doctoring uncredited

uncredited for to get like latino

voices and things like that yeah i saw

most of the other titles that she

appears in were stuff that was like shot

in and around miami mm-hmm

so i just thought that was like i'd

never heard of her um

and it's an uncredited role so i don't

know for sure that we have no way of

verifying this information yeah

i just thought it was an interesting

life that she had yeah absolutely

we also have stuart steinberg as hiller

um and he plays an old janitor in six

episodes of 30 rock

and uh we have uh bob westmoreland

who was the charter boat captain and he

also did makeup on this

and on close encounters and the 78 body

snatchers and the twilight zone movie

and then the last credit i wanted to

mention was rod ball

who is cpo zimmerman one of the coasties

or coast guardsmen or coast guardians um

you know pick your poison uh he plays

steve in both of the porky's movies

but yeah that's everything for the cast

here

did you guys have any other notes you

wanted to bring up or

i i love this movie this is a big thumbs

up for me

um absolutely 100 jess yeah i would

recommend this to

everybody richard i wholeheartedly

recommend

this movie it was i i i could not

believe what i was watching and like i

said i was super excited to tell

everyone at work

i watched this crazy movie over the

weekend i got to tell you all about it

yeah um

uh it was just such a ray of sunshine

it's it's really wonderful um where's

this going on your list richard

uh this is going in the big number four

um this is going just below ninth

configuration

and just above where the buffalo roam

all right

jess where's this going for you all

right i'm putting this

pretty high not quite as high as richard

i'm putting this

in one two three four

seventh place seventh place uh just

above

knight of the juggler and below

forbidden zone

for me this is going in forth also which

uh puts it behind the shining forbidden

zone and empire strikes back

then this and then the changeling is

right underneath it

um but this is this was a fascinating

ride for me

i'm excited to watch it again i'm

excited to show it to people

this was an incredible movie and uh the

reputation that it has is

100 undeserved i think it's insane that

anyone could watch this movie

and come away disappointed because it's

just fascinating and exhilarating the

whole way through

um i think that's everything we have for

this one

if you guys have any thoughts you'd like

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you can find each of our full movie

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vintage video podcast thank you so much

for listening and i hope you'll join us

next time

when we'll be discussing roadie which

imdb describes like so

a young texas good old boy has a knack

with electronic equipment

and that talent gets him a job as a

roadie with a raucous traveling rock and

roll show

which sounds like it could be a sequel

to fame that guy that has all the

electronic equipment

but it's not it's roadie we leave you

now with the trailer

for roadie roadie starring meatloaf as

travis w

redfish

that woman thinks i'm some guy named

rody redfish can fix it

get me two beers and a hubcap that fish

can fix anything

i need a ford well he's the best roadie

in the whole world the fans make it rock

but the roadies make it roll

roadie starring meatloaf art carty

hi everybody khaki hunter i'm a groupie

on my way to new york city to become the

greatest group you'd ever live

[Music]

alice cooper alice cooper uh she's one

of charlie's angels

get him brody

the ultimate rock and roll fantasy

he's a champion the ali

in a rock and roll car or a rock and

roll bar he's the closest thing there is

to a rock and roll star

strange and wonderful crazy and

wonderful

[Music]

the bands make it rock but the roadies

make it roll

thank you very much and good night