we're on a mission from god

wendy so i got that going darling

i picked the wrong way to quit sniffing

blue light of my life

we enjoy your films

i thought they smelled bad on the

outside

welcome to vintage video where we're

re-watching the 80s so you don't have to

we'll be reviewing every major film

release of the 1980s in real time

over analyzing what you've seen and

spoiling what you haven't i'm patrick

o'reilly i'm jesse bayless and i'm

richard wells and today marks the 40th

anniversary of the release of loose

shoes aka coming attractions on august 1

1980 it was written by ian fraser varley

smith

ira miller and royce d applegate

directed by ira miller

and released by national american films

the eventual title loose shoes is a

reference to the song performed

in the final sketch of the film with

lyrics that read all i really need

is tight [ __ ] loose shoes and a warm

place to [ __ ]

which is in turn a reference to the

quote that initially started

the only thing the coloreds are looking

for is

which forced the resignation of gerald

ford's secretary of agriculture

earl l butts wait i'm sorry is the rest

of that quote an exact quote of what the

song says yes

okay so this was a reference to that

quote yikes a government official

said and was forced to retire back in

the day

when government officials were forced to

retire for doing and saying terrible

things your numbers didn't go up

for saying things like that back then

one of the posters features a shoe with

a tongue sticking out of it likely an

intentional reference to the poster for

kentucky fried movie which also featured

a shoe with a tongue

a human tongue i should say not just the

shoe tongue because there's lots of

posters with shoes that also have shoe

tongues

we start the film with opening titles

is the film yes this uh we started

their masterpiece we're calling it a

film uh we start this

loose collection of of rejected sketches

uh with opening titles in spotlights on

various los angeles area theater

marquees

ending with lorena theater where the

happy hooker ghost hollywood had its

premiere at the end of that film earlier

this year

the first sketch is called the howard

huge story

it's a parody of the howard hughes story

we see the film as a slideshow of

pictures

and the only actual joke is when the

narration transitions from just telling

the story of howard hughes

to a factoid but his hobby was watching

planes [ __ ]

over a still of a mid-air refueling it

was like one of the only times i laughed

in this movie yeah

that's our second uh mid-air refueling

for the year right after the final

countdown

uh the next sketch is called

skateboarders from hell which is

misspelled

b-o-r-d instead of b-o-a-r-d uh

it's a parody of the biker gang movies

of the 50s and 60s but we're replacing

the motorcycles with the comparatively

harmless skateboards

the occasionally topless skateboarders

are harassing local business owners

sharing drugs in women

and laughing in the face of death

narration here is provided by harry

shearer

in lovejoy mode one skateboarder blows

a straw wrapper into another's eye and

he dies

a knife fight breaks out between two

surviving skateboarders

and they put the dead guy's coffin on a

skateboard

and roll it to the funeral a guy

eulogizes the deceased

and announces that the dead man's

girlfriend will be buried with him and

they toss her into the hole

the next sketch is the invasion of the

penis snatchers

we see a ufo land in the desert and we

cut to a bedroom

where a terrified man spends a long time

not finding his dick

he and his wife scream and the same

thing happens to a couple other men

across town

as the narrator does a rod sterling

impression and the last shot of this

sketch

for whatever reason is a bunch of kids

having a food fight while their mother

prays

i don't understand no well that has to

do with the rest of the sketch

the next sketch the only one that anyone

has bothered to look up on youtube

is called three chairs for lefty which i

didn't realize until my second watch

is supposed to sound like three cheers

for lefty yeah but

there aren't three chairs for lefty in

this sketch

there's just one chair we're at san

quentin prison

and lefty here is played by bill murray

he's on death row for killing a judge

and he's scheduled to die tonight

now shearer is doing his kent brockman

voice this

is lefty schwartz

he's been sentenced to death in the

electric chair

in the laundry room lefty learns that

they will be escaping at 3 51 tonight

via a tunnel

just a couple hours before his execution

agard interrupts the exchanging of this

information with a letter from the

warden

asking for his recipe for stroganoff and

a good wine pair

so they can make a nice meal to watch

him die tonight with the governor

later lefty incites a riot over the

conditions of the cafeteria the joke

here being that everything is super

fancy with candelabras

and everything what the hell is this

crap

you call this quiche it's slap and this

booyah base

is nothing but trite that's right yeah

you don't want to get the nervous syrup

do you believe this domestic chianti

no where do they think we are anyway a

bunch of spanish peasants

this joke was reused in the

naked gun 33 and a third yeah i don't

think this joke

is bad but i feel like this sketch is

really confused

about what it's about yeah um because if

it's about his

execution and missing a chance to escape

he should care more about it

he should care more about it but if it's

about the irony of

you know he's upset about being in

prison when prison is actually like

really nice then they should lean into

that but i think it's just super

confusing

i think every shot is a new sketch yeah

but yeah he gets dragged away to the

chair but the warden stops him with a

roast and asks if he can hold it while

he's being electrocuted

he is then walked past a few weird cells

on his way to die

one has a coordinated tap dance routine

one has just a bad singer

and then another is just doing a harpo

marx impression

and the narration comes in and says

three chairs for lefty

see it and you two will say well done

and we end with a shot of the roast

smoking on a platter the next sketch

is called the sneaker which is a parody

of woody allen's play it again sam

replacing humphrey bogart with clark

gable or i guess just a guy that looks

something but not

actually anything like him at all who is

this you're talking about

you clock gable i'm not clark gable

you're not but hell no god are you a

[ __ ]

parody has never worked well on comedy

and it especially doesn't work well on

woody allen

movies because they're so meta all the

time anyway

so all you can ever hope for is just a

badly written version of woody allen

movie

which you already don't like so yeah if

it's slightly less funny than a woody

allen movie that's just depressing yeah

this sketch didn't make any sense

here the protagonist is duddy allen and

he's trying to attract a woman

and surprises her on her way home from a

date with someone else and that guy

tosses duddy into a pool

the twist ending to this sketch is that

to protest losing the girl

duddy takes medicine that turns him into

an orthodox rabbi car salesman

the next sketch that doesn't need

any exploring the next sketch is the

magic and mystery of the gobi

an advertisement slash travel film about

the gobi desert the joke here

over and over is that the gobi is not a

life-sustaining place

and the tourists are quickly replaced

with skeletons the last shot

inexplicably shows

two explorers and full safari gear with

pith helmets

standing in a boiling pot being stirred

by white tribesmen

wearing boxers masks and leaves i mean

that doesn't fit the gobi

at all no i don't understand why we

suddenly switched the joke which

already wasn't working to something that

makes no sense now now i'm like wait

were all the skeletons victims of

cannibals

or didn't they just die in the desert

like the implication is supposed to be

everything dies here

yeah and and they all just died like

they just show like skeletons laying on

the ground now if you put the skeletons

in some funny positions like

well there is two that are having sex

though yeah but i mean

but you need to keep that going like

yeah like

have like because they show a horse

skeleton it would be funny like to have

like a

person curled up inside the horse like

they try to take shelter and then they

sign the horse yeah yeah like like

there's some

like you can't just show like people

skeletons in the sand

yeah yeah but they do

20 minutes in we get a card announcing

that it's intermission time

all right luckily this movie is an hour

and nine minutes it's available for free

if you have prime

uh which is too much in my opinion

that's a different run time than it said

on imdb yeah imdb says it's 124. so

we're missing 15 minutes

i'm not missing it i wouldn't say i've

been missing it bob

so yeah 20 minutes in we see a card

announcing that it's intermission time

and we begin a commercial for buddy

hackett on behalf of this nation's

bedwetters

so at this point we sort of switch from

doing

our parody trailers to just doing

commercials but at some point i feel

like we also just switched to

sketches yeah yeah uh we opened this one

with a shot of the camarillo house a

historical building right down the

street from where we're recording this

now buddy hackett is speaking to us

on behalf of stop it which in addition

to spelling stop

it stands for society to oppress and

prevent involuntary tinkling

stop it employees are dumping buckets

full of piss into a fountain in the yard

in front of the camarillo house

hackett happens upon a nurse chewing out

a child in the yard

you know what a disappointment you are

to your mother and father if i had a

hand pardon me but aren't you

being a bit rough on him what's it to

you mac

the kid won't stop pissing what are you

a piss freak or something

hackett moves on to an interview with

stop it's poster boy

who doesn't answer any questions but

ends the sketch by peeing out of his

ears

the next commercial isn't

that's all there is to it there's no

subtext to discuss

although it is cool to have this nurse

character as kind of a nurse ratchet

character

being played by jp morgan from the gong

show movie

that we had earlier this year the next

commercial is a terry gilliam-esque

advertisement for the concession stand

at the theater where you're watching

this film

specifically targeting the especially

stoned in the audience

next we see a block of scrolling text

offering parents

to leave their kids at the theater

friday afternoon and pick them up sunday

night

50 hours of babysitting for 27.95 per

child

sounds like a deal to me which equates

to about 120 bucks now which is still

only 240 an hour that's a good time

done done intermission ends

and we start up with the tombstone of

walt whizney

and a narrator introduces the plot of

the shaggy studio chief

which is just you know the shaggy d.a or

the shaggy dog

a human is replaced by a dog for some

reason a shaggy dog hops out of walt

whisney's grave

and chases his brother roy wisnie's limo

out of the cemetery

the dog walks up to a budget rent-a-car

but has no money

so he hitchhikes to the studio where

he's then thrown off the lot

the tag at the end of the sketch is that

it's a double bill with the calf who

thought she was a chicken

and we see a calf in hay that gets up

revealing

that there are eggs where it was just

laying down which isn't really a parody

as

much as it's just something disney might

put in a thing yeah

there's no joke on top of it so this

felt

like really in bad taste to me yeah i

don't know

like disney did not die that long before

this movie came out

well he died in 66 and technically this

movie was made in 77 so it had been

about 11 years

it still seems really recent to sort of

be ragging on

the founder of a company who died yeah

but i don't know like when when you know

futurama puts presidents heads or

disney's heads like in a jar and we've

reanimated them like it's funny yeah

thousands of years and

this wasn't funny yeah no i agree that

it's not

it's not funny for sure but i would

argue that it's probably not offensive

just because

walt whisney is a multi-billionaire

and disney is still more powerful than

anyone who worked on this sketch

yeah it's not a good parody of a disney

movie either

like if you had managed to make this

really an amusing parody

i think that that but this was really

much

like this was too much on the surface

yeah i i think

what's most offensive is that it's not

at all funny

you're allowed to rip on recently dead

people as long as it's extremely funny

you can rip on them

while they're still in the process of

dying if you have a solid punch line

which is what i feel like we've done

multiple times this year

with kirk douglas yeah but he wasn't

like actively dying while we were making

those jokes

it was on the verge i guess you're

actively dying from the second you're

born

uh the next sketch is a visit with ma

and paw

the hardest to watch in the set for my

taste mostly because the joke of the

sketch seems to be that the paw

character speaks very slowly

excuse me

did you ever snort buckwheat

it's not bad paw introduces clips

from a film called ma and paw take

francis to new york

in the clip ma and paw are surprised to

learn that their pig francis can talk

so they take him to new york to be

famous which i think is the plot of babe

2 pig in the city

uh well it's no i i guess they're doing

like a francis the talking mule

yeah the pig and but then they'd go into

a parody of michigan j

frog right in which they keep trying to

get him to talk but he won't talk when

they need him to

and then every time he does talk it's

when people are turned around and they

think that it's just them talking which

is the same thing they do in trek

right with donkey i'm the talkingest

damn thing you ever saw

a hotel detective busts in and says hey

there's no pigs allowed in this hotel

but every time he turns around the pig

insults him and he keeps assuming it's

paw doing it and eventually the

detective knocks paw out

and the pig talks again you got a great

hook there lefty

wow thank you i was in the golden glass

the next trailer is the birth of a

nation it's a very quick joke

we just have a woman in stirrups in a

hospital room giving birth to native

americans

pilgrims cowboys abe lincoln and then

charlie chaplin and that's the whole

sketch

then we cut to a title card for the yid

and the kid

which is a parody of a chaplain film

featuring the bum

a parody of chaplin's [ __ ] the bum is

arrested for picking a fight with a man

who took down

a poster endorsing communism and is

apparently freed immediately

because suddenly he's hitting on a woman

on a street corner and that goes nowhere

he goes into a house with a kid and the

kid is offering to prepare a meal

and offers him several non-kosher

options as the bum tries to eat his own

shoe

before the kid concludes that the bum is

in fact jewish and kicks him out of the

house

chasing him into the ocean towards

switzerland i'm not sure what this next

trailer's a parody of but the opening

card says

the world's most acclaimed ballerina is

dead but her shoes live on

do you know what this is a reference to

no i don't know either

but maybe there was a ballet movie

around the mid to late 70s

and the story here is that the ballerina

from that movie is dead

because she got stabbed and a man takes

the stage in front of an audience to

announce that

pavlova pavlova is sick and the show is

canceled

but backstage we see her corpse with a

knife in its back so anna pavlova is a

famous ballerina

right did she have a movie in the 70s or

did she get killed

well she died she died famously

i don't know she died in like 1976 i'm

going to say that's more tasteless than

the wolf

no no no she died in in the 30s okay

either way the audience is furious that

this show isn't happening

so uh the man who was announcing her

sickness is now wearing her shoes and

performs the ballet very poorly on stage

with trained dancers he continues

dancing for whatever reason until the

next morning

when he's shot and killed on stage and

we learn

the title to what was apparently a

trailer called scuffed shoes

and that's that sketch next is a world

war ii trailer

called just a run in the sun before the

trailer proper were introduced to a

narrator and the author of the source

material ernie pyles

who is speaking with a row of veterans

the first is a man with silverware for

hands

the second is a man with a plate on his

head not in his head on his head

and then a person with no head just

pouring tea into the stump

one of the men in this group private

snitz

gets a letter from home and he heads

into a locker to jerk off

if you'd have told me that gorp wouldn't

be the worst movie this year

with a guy masturbating in a locker i'd

call you

wait wait wait so sorry i'm preempting a

review later

you think this whole collection of crap

is worse than corp yes

there's very little that is worse than

corp this is worse than gorp though

it just is there was a story in gorp i'd

rather watch this

collection of crap than gordon i don't

believe you piles

relays another chapter of his war

stories

about a group of men on a submarine one

farts and another lights it and the

submarine explodes

next we get a western it's called a

fistful of something

this one made me chuckle yeah there

there is a weird joke in here so first

we have this mysterious man riding in on

a horse

and all the fingers of one hand are

clenched into a fist

an indian is being thrown out of a bar

but it's like an indian from india

which i guess is the joke of the

beginning that it's cowboys and actual

indians

but the man with the clenched fist

raises a gun

and a second indian says don't shoot

cows and cowboys are sacred to us

he shoots anyway and a whole shootout

commences

but the only actual joke here comes from

a woman asking

how long he's worked for don corleone

and the man says

two years before that it was done six

don rickles for three um a blind guy

enters town and tries to kill our hero

but just shoots spastically all around

but the the other joke that's funny here

is that every once in a while people

just want to see what's in his hand and

they can't get his hand open to see

what what the fist is full of the next

sketch is for a movie called welcome to

bacon county

an interracial couple has their car

break down in a backwood southern town

and the man sets up drums to play on the

side of the road maybe to get attention

i'm not sure a cop shows up and gives

them a ride he offers them weed

a la heartbeat but no takers they're not

going to get caught in this sting

operation

but it's not a sting operation he's

literally just offering them weed he

tells them that lake sturgeon is

supposedly the oldest living animal

with a lifespan of potentially 152 years

it's not even close to true

i don't think so a creepy couple rents

them a room at a hotel and hours later a

man enters with a tray of food and

drinks

while they discuss how creepily nice

everyone's been the joke being that you

would expect this couple to not be

treated well

in this part of the world but everyone's

being pretty nice

well i think it's also a parody just on

sort of horror films

yeah you know that you're expecting that

something's

gonna go terribly wrong right but

instead just one thing goes a little

confusing

the guy with the food seems to be

hitting on his wife or at least

excessively complimentary and so the

the husband gets very angry and calls

him a [ __ ] kicker and then the [ __ ]

kicker thinks this is hilarious and

leaves happy

with this new word that he can use

because it's so funny the next morning

when they're trying to leave the hotel

the guy who brought them their food the

[ __ ] kicker is for some reason in the

back of their van

and so they speed away and he falls out

of the back and that's the end of the

sketch

the next set is a montage called that's

sexploitation

and it's basically just we wrote a list

of four

porn titles and here's pictures that we

stapled together

to be a sketch but they mentioned the

happy hooker goes down on washington

which is one of the clues that this was

made in 77 and just released now

because there was already another sequel

to happy hooker by here

we already reviewed it it was called

happy hooker go hollywood they also

mention

2069 a space orgy the spy who bit me and

all the president's girls

the next sketch is the pom pom boys

or the return of the pom pom boys which

is just a gender swap of the pom pom

girls

so we have male cheerleaders being

forced to use their bodies to help an

all-girls basketball team win the

championships

by having sex with the girls on the

other team i do kind of

enjoy the gender swap on this just to

explore the idea of how ridiculous those

movies actually are where they're just

like

we should do this for the team guys like

this really matters

the one part that really got me actually

the second time watching it

is when uh one of them comes out of the

bathroom and like wraps a towel very

lazily around himself

and then there's another one ironing and

another one just reading on the bed

and at the end of the sketch one of

them's like oh it's my turn to take a

shower and he takes off his shirt and

the camera just

zooms into his chest for the whole rest

of the sketch

but yeah other than that there's really

not much to it then we move on to

billy jerk goes to oz which is

a co-parody of billy jack and the wizard

of oz

uh jerk is a is bit by a snake and

transported to oz

where he meets the menchkin a scarecrow

and a tin man who they just flip off and

walk away from instead of oiling

the scarecrow refers to menchkin as

shorty once

and billy jerk goes crazy on his behalf

and destroys the scarecrow

shorty did i just hear you call that

[ __ ] shorty when i hear somebody call

a friend of mine

shorty or pygmy or shrimp or

half pine or billy or or tiny

or or teeny tiny anyway

when i hear words like that words filled

with hate

and wreaking with the total lack of

respect for the simple

basic god-given innate dignity of

mankind

well i oh sure he's sure

yeah he literally yeah he's he's even

teeny tiny maybe

but when i see injustice perpetrated

when i see such a

total lack of regard for even these

silly

insignificant little twerks when i go

[ __ ] ready

and that's that's

our last sketch is called dark town

after dark

where we have an all african-american

band performing the song referenced by

the title in a nightclub

well i woke up this afternoon and i felt

that everything was pretty much okay

[Music]

that's good and i made love to my baby

in my usual way that's even better

i tried to put on my shoes they were too

tight they

would not fit

then i went to use the convenience and

almost froze my toes

[Applause]

a one two three four five six seven

[Music]

eight

now i'm returning my nobel peace prize

all my oscars surprise

some folks look at my medals with greed

i just laugh at them all

and say all i

[Music]

and that's the end of the film

[Music]

we cut right from that song ending to

the credits which are long

and in alphabetical order which i hate

well

presumably there's what another 12

minutes like what

two three four sketches potentially that

are not in this cut that we watched i

feel like that

that timing must include like commercial

breaks from when this aired on

television at some point

maybe but it got a theatrical release so

yeah i don't know our director here ira

miller

he's an actor and a lot of mel brooks

stuff he was in blazing saddles high

anxiety history of the world part one

spaceballs robin hood men in tights

dracula dead and loving it

he also appeared in armed and dangerous

and rain man

voice only apparently he makes an

appearance

in this film as a blind man the guy

who's

shooting all over the place in the

western and one of the narrators for one

of the trailers

writer ian praiser a lot of tv sitcoms

bosom buddies taxi caroline in the city

he was featured in this film as

fat man i'm not sure which fat man

because their credits aren't in sketch

order they're in just alphabetical order

by last name

writer royce d applegate uh he played

callan

and alligator earlier this year uh

weirdly he plays

his credit is coming attractions the

name of this film

in history of the world part one uh he's

also in splash

armed and dangerous and also in rain man

also as

a voice which uh him and ira both have

that credit

i wonder if maybe they're showing clips

of this movie or someone's watching

splash because they are armed and

dangerous does someone watch armed and

dangerous in the movie

no one's watching loose shoes i bet it

was easy to license

yeah uh he was also in seaquest

2032. that's right and a couple coen

brothers movies oh brother and

intolerable cruelty and he plays delmis

in the

bacon county sketch which i think is the

[ __ ] kicker correct

louis arquette was the warden and three

chairs for lefty

he is the father of rosanna patricia

alexis richmond and david

and the former father-in-law of actors

nicholas cage

thomas jane patricia's former husbands

courtney cox

david's first wife and james newton

howard rosanna's former husband

he played hatcher in the china syndrome

wyler

in tango and cash and clifford woolley

in waiting for guffman

he also appeared in seaquest 2032 once

and he appeared on safe by the bell as

screech's uncle lester in one episode

tom baker played billy jerk he plays

stackowski

in two minute warning and he's a federal

agent and roller coaster which i've

mentioned before it's a good movie

his last credit on imdb is listed as

the egyptian captain in holy moses that

apparently imdb considers earlier than

this

he died of a drug overdose at 42 two

years later

in oliver stones the doors baker is

portrayed by michael madsen

dorothy van the army nurse from

a run in the sun or just around in the

sun was a writer for silver spoons punky

brewster and mama's family

beans morocco who played the shaggy dog

was

bob the janitor in police academy five

and a bank president in police academy

six

he plays stanley dewosky the polish

customer that kurt russell pretends to

be polish with

and used cars and he'll be back later

this year in any which way you can

jj berry was indian number one it's the

guy getting thrown out of the bar

probably

he plays prehistoric man in history of

the world part one

and rack jobber and spinal tap i don't

know what rack jobber means

billy curtis was the menchkin from billy

jerk goes to oz

he plays the hero buck lawson in 1938's

the terror of tinytown the world's first

and probably only western

musical featuring an all dwarf cast he's

also the braggart munchkin

in the wizard of oz so he was actually

in the wizard of oz and then

in this sketch he also plays mordecai in

high plains drifter

danny dayton was the bartender he plays

rusty charlie and guys and dolls

he's a sound man in ed wood and he plays

a character named sid in a movie i

really like called the dark backward

murphy dunn was the tough white gi in

a run in the sun i think that's the guy

who says that he won't jump in a foxhole

with a black person

he was the composer for this film and we

previously had him as a member of the

blues brothers

in the blues brothers we actually also

had him as dr

shalert the doctor with a blatant

disregard for hipaa violations in last

married couple

the one who's telling everybody where

they got their stds from walker

edmundston

was pa from the pig sketch he does the

voice of inferno on transformers

he was the voice of sir thornberry on

the gummy bears he was harvey gabor

on gem and he's also the voice of god

and holy moses earlier this year

sean fry was the poster boy for the stop

it organization

in the uh bedwetting sketch he plays the

boy at the science fair in real genius

he was steve and e.t i assume that's a

friend of

the kids yeah and uh he's also jordan st

hubbins son of michael mckean's david st

hubbins lead singer of spinal tap in

this

spinal tap buddy hackett played buddy

hackett

uh he's the voice of scuttle from the

little mermaid he's benji benjamin in

mad mad mad mad world he's tennessee

steinmetz

and the love bug marcellus washburn and

the music man

and his ebenezer scrooge in scrooged

uh sid haig was the lone stranger from

uh

fistful of something he's captain

spalding in a couple of rob zombie

movies house of a thousand corpses

and devil's rejects he was jay in kill

bill volume two which i think is the guy

who owns the strip club that michael

madsen works at

and uh he's also in a couple macgyver

episodes larry hanken

was the second veteran in run on the sun

that's the guy with a plate on his head

he plays old joe on breaking bad carl

and billy madison

and earlier this year we had him in

dilaping as acid-face bad guy

i forget if he had a name even sandy

hellberg was the biker eulogist

in skateboarders from hell he's in a few

mel brooks movies

uh he's dr schlotkin in spaceballs and

he's

a disciple in history of the world he

was also one of the cops in hollywood

knights earlier this year the one that's

not in all the earnest movies

and he plays the director on the set of

johnny cage's movie at the

at the beginning of mortal kombat howard

hessman was ernie pyles

he was johnny fever on wkrp in

cincinnati

he was dr faraday in flight of the

navigator he was rupert king in another

sketch movie called amazon women on the

moon

uh ed lotter plays sheriff bob

i feel like we had him earlier this year

but i was looking through everything and

i can't find him

he just looks so familiar but he's in a

lot of stuff he is but uh the credits i

had here were carnahan and king kong

joe camber and cujo and he plays the

coach in not another teen movie

hap lawrence was the scarecrow we had

him already this year as

sergeant major in the nude bomb and the

blind man and holy moses

he'll be back as a nudist and loving

couples and an endocrinology fellow

in altered states brit leach played

billy joe

i don't remember who billy joe was but

this is our second episode in a row with

a billy joe after the hunter

yeah that's you know as soon as i read

billy jones like wasn't that from a

different movie

he plays gary's dad in weird science he

was mr sims in silent night deadly night

and he's mr potter and the last

starfighter

ricky marin was the commie lady

that was cheech's wife at the time we

had her

in chichen chang's next movie she's also

in

corsican brothers and nice dreams with

cheech and she was also

in the gas pump girls as a character

named january

michael miller is credited as biker like

screenwriter royce d applegate he is

also credited as

coming attractions in history of the

world also

fowler in three days of the condor and

monk mayfair and doc savage

luisa moritz was margie she was rosy in

one floor of the cuckoo's nest

carmella in the last american virgin

myra in death race 2000

and gloria in up in smoke not

gloria in next movie which was played by

cheech marin's wife they had a different

gloria in their second movie than in

their first movie

jp morgan was the nurse at stop it we

had her in the gong show movie she's

also celeb number two

in home alone two and kate parker in

night patrol

bill murray was lefty obviously we had

him this year and where the buffalo roam

at caddyshack

and we'll see him next in stripes van

dyke parks played indian number two

he also plays hoagy the piano player in

popeye this year

he has soundtrack credits on jungle book

heathers the departed

the two jakes follow that bird very

eclectic mix of movies avery schreiber

was the theater manager who dances in

the ballerinas shoes

he was captain cornelius butt in

galaxina he's in menin tights and dead

and loving it

and we'll see him next as awk in caveman

next year

doug steckler was the priest he was a

writer for

sctv and the martin short show also the

show formerly known as the martin short

show which is what they called

the same show the following year

dave shelley played sarge harold's

father in midnight madness the one who

strong arms

stephen first into the contest against

as well robin sherwood played biker

chick number two

she plays carol kersey the daughter of

paul kersey

in death wish 2. she's also eileen in

tourist trap and betty and blowout

and she played woman in cereal not clear

which one

and lab assistant and hero at large so

far for us this year

lynn marie stewart was the woman at the

budget rent-a-car

who would not rent a car to a dog even

though i think someone rented a car to a

dog in bon voyage charlie brown

they did she plays miss yvonne in

pee-wee's playhouse

mother superior and big adventure she's

charlie's mom on always sunny in

philadelphia

and she's scott ockerman's mom on comedy

bang bang

betty thomas was biker chick number one

we had her earlier this year as one of

the strippers dancing on cars and used

cars

she also directed howard stern's private

parts john tucker must die

and the squeakquel susan tyrell played

boobies

that was her character's name in this uh

she plays queen doris of the sixth

dimension

she's ramona ricketts and crybaby and

she's oma in fat city i feel like

boobies is not

a far departure from her forbidden zone

role no that sounds it's about right she

really doesn't get enough to do in that

sketch for my taste

well what's funny to me is that i feel

like i first recognized her

from the arch in her back like just her

posture

yeah was was so recognizable and then

you know and then you know the smirk on

her face

and she's very royal the accent like i

was like oh okay yes i know who this is

uh teddy wilson was elijah abdul jamal

muhammad i'm forgetting who that was in

this that that is

in the same section yeah that's her

partner

oh that's her husband yeah that was the

joke that like once he says his full

name they're gonna get super racist

because he's but they don't

yeah he's just like oh that's a

beautiful name or something like that

yeah

uh we just had him as winston blue in

our previous episode the hunter

he was the guy with all the cops outside

of his apartment and he also played

nails in

kearney bill zuckert was the hotel

detective

he plays ace landon in hangar 18 he was

mr menges in

critters 3 and he's mr finkel in ace

ventura

gary owens was the narrator voice on one

of these sketches not sure which one

but he's the original voice of space

ghost in the 60s and then again in an

80s series called space stars

he also does the voice of powdered

toastman nice

which i think you asked recently if

douglas was powdered

at least an inspiration for the drawing

of him i'm sure that chin

came from him yeah uh and of course we

also have harry shearer

as the narrator voice in a couple of the

sketches he

is obviously a voice actor with 682

credits on the simpsons

that's 682 episodes that he has credits

in he's principal skinner flanders burns

smithers jasper lenny kent brockman

lovejoy hibbert

rayner wolf castle scratchy kang and

many others

he's also in a lot of christopher guest

movies probably all of them

or most of them and uh he's also a

member of spinal tap

so i'm trying to account for the missing

time yes that i feel like there's

sketches that we

missed out on but forgive me i can't

remember

the names of all of the sketches okay so

did we have a sketch called the last

mile

no no did we have a sketch called

quackers

no did we have a sketch called

bad news bearers in getting laid no no

okay so all of those titles were on

imdb as uh segment titles

uh so those must be the missing so those

were missing those were missing sketches

that were not part of this cut

interesting and it's weird too because

it's not

it's not uncommon for an edited for time

version to be the version that

circulates

but if this was edited for time it

certainly wasn't edited for television

because there are boobs in it

yeah there are but it could have been

edited for like hbo or something

because it's definitely uh

very low quality like this is not a this

is not a film scan this is a this is

a transfer from a tape somewhere so

but if these were the ones they left in

how bad are the ones they took out

yeah i mean i guess

because for me the worst one is that ma

and paw one

but the laziest one would be that vex

that sexploitation one

but you can't cut that out because it

has like most of the boobs

and if you're cutting this for hbo it's

like well you can't cut out anything

with boobs yeah

i don't know um it's not great there

were a couple moments

that were no i definitely laughed at

stuff in it

i still put it below gorp because

i don't because the least funny parts of

gorp

are not as unfunny as this like so much

of this falls flat that it's barely a

movie

i it's not necessarily a movie but

i still feel like it's more tolerable

than a

bunch of guys just screaming at the

camera for an hour and a half

i'm in jesse's camp and i have this

placed above gord

like literally right about oh no several

above corp it's a few

above gorp for me i think it's less

capably made

than home movies uh production

value-wise

well i feel like home movies had more

production value for sure yeah but i

also feel like this movie

was just for the most part was just get

a bunch of people

and do something like i someone

you pulled a lot of favors together i

don't know how they got

jp morgan i feel bad for buddy hackett

even as he's reciting the lines in this

movie because the end of that sketch

is him saying someone's going to hand a

bucket down the aisle of the theater now

and if you want to put money in it go

ahead and as the bucket is being pissed

passed around and you can tell even as

he's saying the joke he hates

the joke why did he agree to be in this

movie i don't know

they had him for four hours was there a

budget on imdb for this one no

cause like unless you paid these guys a

lot of money i don't know why they would

do it

i think it was shot over the course of

like two and a half years where they

were like

we're gonna do something with these

sketches eventually like this is gonna

be a pilot for a sketch show but then it

never worked out so they were like

let's just cut them together and pretend

it's a movie and they sold it to someone

but and then after bill murray blew up

they were like now we have a shot

like saturday night live was already a

thing

right so i not in 70

well no in 77 it started in 75. so it

was barely a thing

i guess but i'm just saying like i know

you want

a venue for your sketches but

this feels like the rejected sketches

yeah like they're for sure

they're too good to to pass up and

somebody's like i gotta make a movie

ahead of this and it's like no no they

were passed on

for a reason yeah and maybe it was just

early enough

in sketch comedy you know era that

they're like they they still didn't

understand that

there was a methodology to this that the

sketch were passed on for a reason

yeah they made it into a movie and they

shouldn't have

yeah i mean like i i've been to shows

at the ucb that are 100 improvised that

had better

lines than any sketch in this it's rough

yeah up or down jess

well it's a pretty obvious down for me

yeah it's a down i would say google

three chairs for lefty if you're a

completist

but it's not good if you want to see the

worst thing bill murray ever did

check that out it it uh it makes

garfield 2 look like life aquatic he's

not even himself

in this sketch he feels like he's trying

to play

he doesn't even feel like he's trying to

play a character he just i don't even

know what this

is it's weird it's uncomfortable

uh up or down richard oh it's definitely

a down

um this is one of the rare occasions

where we watch the movie together

and although i give it a down

it's not at the very bottom of my list

it's gonna be down there there were

several times i was just looking at pat

going

like just trying to telepathically

communicate please take this off the

list can we do anything stop

this movie right now can we just play

video games and stop watching this

yeah no it's a down for me trying to

figure out where it goes

it's below middle age crazy which is

third from my bottom

i think it's below bon voyage charlie

brown even

yeah it's definitely below bon voyage

charlie brown so

it's either second from my bottom or the

bottom it's what what side of home

movies do i put this on

that's that's where i was struggling too

i was struggling with home movies and

middle age crazy um

but i think i actually put it above both

middle age crazy and home movies because

i think that i at least laughed a few

times during this which i didn't

really enjoy those other two movies in

any way

you know what you're right it it's above

home movies for me

so it's second from the bottom it's not

as it's not as capably made

as this movie that was made by film

students

yeah but it also wasn't made by film

professionals

so film students still have a lego over

people who never went to film school

especially brian de palma's

film students yeah yeah so

i'm gonna put it second from the bottom

so out of 93 movies this is a 92nd place

for me well mine is sixth from the

bottom so like i said home movies and

middle-aged crazies below it but

definitely gorp

up the academy and nothing personal are

also below it because i just cannot

stand those movies but

bon voyage charlie brown gets a little

bump up from me

richard um i have this uh i guess the

highest of all of us

um i have it at number four number four

with a bullet no

uh i have it at uh 85 uh which puts it

just below don't answer the phone and

just above forbidden zone

you're wrong about that i got the both

the susan tyrell movies together

i think you need to re-watch forbidden

zone do i

i think you would rather re-watch

forbidden zone than watch the loose

shoes again i don't know about that

oh my gosh really that's that's

mind-blowing to me

anyway i think that's everything for

this one if you guys have any thoughts

you'd like to share with us we are

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for listening and i hope you'll join us

next time

when we'll be discussing raise the

titanic which imdb describes like so

to obtain a supply of a rare mineral

a ship raising operation is conducted

for the only known source

the rms titanic i'm gonna get that heart

of the ocean

back no it's a different rock they need

please tell me it's unobtainium it's

basically entertaining

i'm like three quarters of the way

through it it's essentially an obtainium

herbalonium

vibranium that's the word bolonium is in

uh

the mighty ducks cartoon that was what

their ship was made out of yeah

they found an alien that eats it why

would the titanic be the only source of

this material

it's not the only source but there's a

source and then they're trying to move

it with the titanic discreetly

and then the titanic i guess we'll have

to watch to find out

we leave you now with the trailer for a

race the titanic

what a lovely thing she was standing as

high

in the water as one of your skyscrapers

and god himself they said couldn't sink

her

then in two hours she was gone and

fifteen hundred souls with her

this is

[Music]

i think we hit the jackpot at the bottom

of the atlantic ocean you're talking

about 12

500 feet underwater which leaves us with

only

one choice are you talking about raising

the titanic

yeah it's the biggest job with the

highest stakes

anybody ever dreamt of

if there's a leak we have to stop what

do you mean by a leak i don't even know

what you're talking about

it was a secret that's what i'm telling

you nobody knew about it

[Music]

damn thing

i took this job on two conditions one

that i handle the salvage end of it my

way

and two that you stay out of my hair

[Music]

you're gonna crush the deep quest

indicates electrical fire on the left

if we can't cut loose that submersible

we got to bring up the titanic

target dates two weeks away our target

date just got changed

five four three two

one mark

[Music]

you